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Owner of the company I work for is in the office for a couple of days and he always drives up from London in his 2018 Porsche 911.
He got a nail in his tyre last night and is basically in floods of tears that he's £320 lighter.  He pays himself 100 large a year.
His overall remuneration will be substantially more than that.

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26 minutes ago, Unrepentant F.B. said:

 

 

Wait.

 

You're gonna Lee Wallace a workmate for that?

 

Climbing that ladder Adam, you're climbing it.

Absolutely not, I was merely pointing out to my friend that a guy was honking of bevvy.  Would never in my wildest dreams grass anyone up for anything in the workplace.

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9 minutes ago, Unrepentant F.B. said:

 

You grassed him to your mate...

Aye, 'cos that's the same.  Back in your box please.

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Your mate could be his boss....
 
It's exactly the same.
 
And it not exactly a job with him driving folk about etc.
 
He pushes a pen for students is it?
 
He could be coked out his tits all day and no harm/foul.
 
Not exactly important.


Not content with your username alone suggesting you’re an absolute roaster....

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I used to work with an alcoholic.
He was functional and used to do his work mostly fine. He stunk of crusty, stale booze which was pretty minging at 8am but no one said anything.
The booze eventually took its toll and he passed away a few years later. He was mid-40s.

Maybe if people had said something rather than ignore the issue then he would have got the help he needed.

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Speaking of workplace alcoholics, in my first job as a teenager working in a shop, a new woman started. One morning she came in and bought a bottle of vodka from me on the till (clearly spotted I was a young guy without a clue) claiming it was far a party she was having after work. Later on I saw her necking a full bottle of coke in the canteen. “Fucking hell she must’ve been thirsty” I thought to myself.

Later that week she was being escorted out of the shop as I walked in to start my shift, and I somehow hadn’t clicked what was going on until somebody explained.

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Snitches get stitches.
Grasses get fucked in their asses.
Informants get cormorants. 
 
The adult version if a favourite bedtime story....

91ryhlPlNbL.jpeg

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2 hours ago, Cerberus said:

I used to work with an alcoholic.
He was functional and used to do his work mostly fine. He stunk of crusty, stale booze which was pretty minging at 8am but no one said anything.
The booze eventually took its toll and he passed away a few years later. He was mid-40s.

Maybe if people had said something rather than ignore the issue then he would have got the help he needed.

I worked with an incredible functioning alcoholic down in England once - he had a daily routine that would put Oliver Reed to shame.

In at 7 every day, maybe not bright but certainly early, he kept the edge off in the morning by means of a bottle of vodka he kept in his desk. Two hour lunch in the boozer and more nips from the voddy throughout the afternoon before leaving to go back to the pub where he drank till shutting time. Basically if he was awake, he was drinking.

I assume he must have eaten at some point but I never saw him do it, just drink enough to kill a small horse on a daily basis.

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I think I told this one before but anyway. 

When I was an apprentice in an electronics factory there was an engineer who seemed odd to me. I was only 18 so hadn’t really worked 9-5 much.

He would be explaining schematics or test procedures really well then disappear to the toilet and come back and just be all over the place. He always ate polos and stank of body spray and aftershave. I was there for about six weeks when one day a guy off the line who was a bit older walked past and said ‘morning gus ya jakey wee b*****d’. It immediately clicked. He had a bottle of coke and drank half then I reckon he went to the bogs and filled the rest with vodka or whatever and tanned it. He also went to his car at break times alone. He was bright red in the face.

Somehow he managed to drive from Dunfermline to near Glenrothes every day without issue. I took a lift off him once and he was flawless. 

No idea how he did it? Another guy who he knew started a year later and basically went to the pub from work and stayed there until closing time. Every morning he would try and sneak a coffee in a box from the canteen to his desk but got busted eventually cartoon style with a line of coffee straight to his desk cabinet. :lol: Stupidly he was put on night shift so he would just come from the pub and start work steamboats. We worked alone on nights and had to switch off the alarm. It was silent so eventually he forgot and woke up to find two police officers standing behind him.

f**k living like that, I don’t know why anyone didn’t try and help them? I just found it amusing being so young. 

Edited by D.A.F.C

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Started giving a lassie a lift to work every day cos she doesn't drive. It's only 10 minutes out my way so not a huge deal. But she's often running late, and leapt in the car this morning clutching her breakfast ... toast and peanut butter - and then proceeded to drop crumbs and stink out my motor on the way into work. 

Am I right in thinking this is some shameful shit?

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Wait, is someone saying telling a workmate that someone reeks is grassing?

Where I come from, grassing is telling your superior/the law.  Not your fucking mate 😂.

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8 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Started giving a lassie a lift to work every day cos she doesn't drive. It's only 10 minutes out my way so not a huge deal. But she's often running late, and leapt in the car this morning clutching her breakfast ... toast and peanut butter - and then proceeded to drop crumbs and stink out my motor on the way into work. 

Am I right in thinking this is some shameful shit?

I would at least have the common courtesy to ask if it's alright to eat In the car?

If I were you i'd have had the windows down the whole way.

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16 minutes ago, staggy1929 said:

I would at least have the common courtesy to ask if it's alright to eat In the car?

If I were you i'd have had the windows down the whole way.

Well she mumbled an apology, but didn't ask. And I did open the window briefly, but I was more worried about peanut butter spores flying about (vile vile stuff) so I shut the window again. 

 

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31 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Started giving a lassie a lift to work every day cos she doesn't drive. It's only 10 minutes out my way so not a huge deal. But she's often running late, and leapt in the car this morning clutching her breakfast ... toast and peanut butter - and then proceeded to drop crumbs and stink out my motor on the way into work. 

Am I right in thinking this is some shameful shit?

This site is going to the dogs.

 

PICS OR GTF

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Started giving a lassie a lift to work every day cos she doesn't drive. It's only 10 minutes out my way so not a huge deal. But she's often running late, and leapt in the car this morning clutching her breakfast ... toast and peanut butter - and then proceeded to drop crumbs and stink out my motor on the way into work. 
Am I right in thinking this is some shameful shit?


Was in a similar situation a few years back with a colleague. I’d arrive outside (at the agreed time), phone him and tell him I was outside. 15 minutes later he’d rock up breakfast muffin in hand. This happened everyday for 2 weeks.

Eventually told him I’d give him 2 minutes after the agreed time and if he wasn’t there I was leaving and he could explain to his boss why he wasn’t able to get into work. I had some irrational rage during that period.

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3 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

 


Was in a similar situation a few years back with a colleague. I’d arrive outside (at the agreed time), phone him and tell him I was outside. 15 minutes later he’d rock up breakfast muffin in hand. This happened everyday for 2 weeks.

Eventually told him I’d give him 2 minutes after the agreed time and if he wasn’t there I was leaving and he could explain to his boss why he wasn’t able to get into work. I had some irrational rage during that period.

 

people who are given a set time to be ready for and continuously fail to be ready at said time are the worst kind of scum.

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I worked with an incredible functioning alcoholic down in England once - he had a daily routine that would put Oliver Reed to shame.

In at 7 every day, maybe not bright but certainly early, he kept the edge off in the morning by means of a bottle of vodka he kept in his desk. Two hour lunch in the boozer and more nips from the voddy throughout the afternoon before leaving to go back to the pub where he drank till shutting time. Basically if he was awake, he was drinking.

I assume he must have eaten at some point but I never saw him do it, just drink enough to kill a small horse on a daily basis.

Worked with quite a few serious alcoholics over the years, I found it a thing of wonder as to how they could function properly with so much alcohol in their system. You could tell when they had sobered up a bit as that was the times they struggled.

 

We had one alcoholic labourer who used to wear loads of jewellery, big chunky gold chains and bracelets, sovvy rings and a watch. As the week went on the amount of bling he was wearing would get less and less, then when we got paid on a Friday it would all be fully restored after a quick trip to get it all back from the pawn shop.

 

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11 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

 


Was in a similar situation a few years back with a colleague. I’d arrive outside (at the agreed time), phone him and tell him I was outside. 15 minutes later he’d rock up breakfast muffin in hand. This happened everyday for 2 weeks.

Eventually told him I’d give him 2 minutes after the agreed time and if he wasn’t there I was leaving and he could explain to his boss why he wasn’t able to get into work. I had some irrational rage during that period.

 

It’s just liberty taking the fuckers should be grateful for the lift and be standing waiting outside every morning. 

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