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3 hours ago, Ross. said:

He isn't really the type for speeches, pretty sound guy but only comes here because he is contractually obliged to. We will get the toe curling speech in January at our year end event, delivered by the boy who runs the European office. His speeches are legendary in length. The last couple of years we have had folk running a book on how long it would last. Think it was around 55 minutes last time.

He's a second career as a Free Presbyterian minister with sermons like that.

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22 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

This is Fight Club, isn't it. 

The first rule of Fight Club....

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I agreed to organise the works Xmas lunch/bevvy in my new job (I know)

In reality that means phoning pub and confirming they can accommodate, emailing the team and then letting my admin assistant deal with all the pish of taking orders and deposits etc this is for a team of about 16.

I was then cc'd into an email with 6 other randomers saying get in touch with me to book. Apparently old colleagues, including some who left 10 years ago, get invited too.

Get tae f**k. If you want to hang about with your pals do it in your own time. So, if anyone fancies a Xmas lunch at Braes in Dundee PM me as apparently it's a fucking free for all.

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I agreed to organise the works Xmas lunch/bevvy in my new job (I know)
In reality that means phoning pub and confirming they can accommodate, emailing the team and then letting my admin assistant deal with all the pish of taking orders and deposits etc this is for a team of about 16.
I was then cc'd into an email with 6 other randomers saying get in touch with me to book. Apparently old colleagues, including some who left 10 years ago, get invited too.
Get tae f**k. If you want to hang about with your pals do it in your own time. So, if anyone fancies a Xmas lunch at Braes in Dundee PM me as apparently it's a fucking free for all.


Count me in :-)

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Attended a 2 day conference for our customers. I have to deliver a presentation to 200 odd  delegates. Decide to introduce some levity and get some folk to play a game for which I need volunteers. Have the bright idea of chucking 4 stress balls into the crowd. In an attempt to launch a ball to the back of the hall, I end up flinging one full-whack straight into the face of an elderly woman, breaking her glasses. I realise this hasn't got much to do with work colleagues (apart from the fact they were all pishing themselves) but it was the highlight of their day. Not sure I'll be asked back. 

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1 minute ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Attended a 2 day conference for our customers. I have to deliver a presentation to 200 odd  delegates. Decide to introduce some levity and get some folk to play a game for which I need volunteers. Have the bright idea of chucking 4 stress balls into the crowd. In an attempt to launch a ball to the back of the hall, I end up flinging one full-whack straight into the face of an elderly woman, breaking her glasses. I realise this hasn't got much to do with work colleagues (apart from the fact they were all pishing themselves) but it was the highlight of their day. Not sure I'll be asked back. 

So your cunning plan worked, then?

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2 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Attended a 2 day conference for our customers. I have to deliver a presentation to 200 odd  delegates. Decide to introduce some levity and get some folk to play a game for which I need volunteers. Have the bright idea of chucking 4 stress balls into the crowd. In an attempt to launch a ball to the back of the hall, I end up flinging one full-whack straight into the face of an elderly woman, breaking her glasses. I realise this hasn't got much to do with work colleagues (apart from the fact they were all pishing themselves) but it was the highlight of their day. Not sure I'll be asked back. 

I figured that the interview process for P&B moderator would include more hammer-throwing and hot-tub sterilisation, but I can see how battering the elderly could be considered a plus.

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58 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

I figured that the interview process for P&B moderator would include more hammer-throwing and hot-tub sterilisation, but I can see how battering the elderly could be considered a plus.

Especially Granny Danger. 

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I agreed to organise the works Xmas lunch/bevvy in my new job (I know)
In reality that means phoning pub and confirming they can accommodate, emailing the team and then letting my admin assistant deal with all the pish of taking orders and deposits etc this is for a team of about 16.
I was then cc'd into an email with 6 other randomers saying get in touch with me to book. Apparently old colleagues, including some who left 10 years ago, get invited too.
Get tae f**k. If you want to hang about with your pals do it in your own time. So, if anyone fancies a Xmas lunch at Braes in Dundee PM me as apparently it's a fucking free for all.

I’ll have the steak pie please

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In the lunch queue, fish and chips on the menu today,

Person in front of me throws a tantrum because they were given a piece of fish slightly smaller than the rest.

A woman, in her mid 40's.

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19 hours ago, invergowrie arab said:

I agreed to organise the works Xmas lunch/bevvy in my new job (I know)

In reality that means phoning pub and confirming they can accommodate, emailing the team and then letting my admin assistant deal with all the pish of taking orders and deposits etc this is for a team of about 16.

I was then cc'd into an email with 6 other randomers saying get in touch with me to book. Apparently old colleagues, including some who left 10 years ago, get invited too.

Get tae f**k. If you want to hang about with your pals do it in your own time. So, if anyone fancies a Xmas lunch at Braes in Dundee PM me as apparently it's a fucking free for all.

This is awkward...we're going to Braes as well, and the guy organising it originally was just doing for our office (about 22 or so folk) but then other offices got in touch with him to invite themselves along, with the end result being that there will be circa 40 folk going, at least half of which I won't know (not everyone in our office can go before someone tries to point out that 22 is more than half of 40).

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In the lunch queue, fish and chips on the menu today,

Person in front of me throws a tantrum because they were given a piece of fish slightly smaller than the rest.

A woman, in her mid 40's.


Not the kind of example a teacher should be setting in all honesty.

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This is awkward...we're going to Braes as well, and the guy organising it originally was just doing for our office (about 22 or so folk) but then other offices got in touch with him to invite themselves along, with the end result being that there will be circa 40 folk going, at least half of which I won't know (not everyone in our office can go before someone tries to point out that 22 is more than half of 40).


Chances are you might get your hole that night.

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8 minutes ago, Chicken Wing said:

 


Chances are you might get your hole that night.

 

Finally

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I'd happily strangle mine right now.

 

We're targeted with clearing work in 10 days from start to finish. That includes any complex case work that the processors need to refer to me for a specialist decision.

 

If I do double my daily target of complex decisions then we'll just about keep our head above water. So I keep asking for complex work to be given to me as early as possible as I'm on my own for half the week. Already today I've found half a dozen cases at the 10 day limit that need masses of extra work. I've also had an extra 4 cases sent over that are on their target today that magically appeared from nowhere.

 

Matters are made worse by people constantly arguing the toss because legislation is difficult and makes our work that bit harder to deal with properly.

 

Guess what - the law isn't simple and, contrary to popular belief, I don't enjoy making things difficult. The law is difficult and we can try to play with it to make it do what we want to do but we can't flat out ignore it because it's too hard. Stop arguing for the hell of it and accept that sometimes our job really is unavoidably complicated.

 

Rarely has the weekend break been needed so badly

 

 

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