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2 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

You try typing with vaginal dryness and a hot flush.

Aye, it's a lot easier using your fingers.

ETA: Up yours KB!

Edited by Jacksgranda

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On 17/05/2019 at 11:01, LondonHMFC said:

Just been forwarded the below by the lass beside me, Gem looking out for the girls. 

Some woman. 

 

Milky.png.f4f0a263feb927fa86b38b726a201e6f.png

Is it just me that's disappointed that "The M Word" wasn't Milk?

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How about real ale drinkers? Viz runs the occasional strip which has them down to a T, featuring some bearded twat going on about a pint of Speckled Mushroom he had in 1997, in a village pub in Wiltshire run by a guy named Norman...
Just drink the stuff and keep quiet.
Real ale drinkers have been overtaken by IPA drinkers, a subset that just can't get enough hops.

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Every afternoon without fail the same toilet cubicle ends up looking like this, picture doesn't really do it justice but someone keeps taking a load of toilet paper and dumping it on the floor next to the toilet. Someone also seems to like splashing as much water as they can around the sinks, the toilets resemble those of a primary school half the time. 

P&B.jpg

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Could be a good reason for that Torpar.

Folk who stand up when peeing but who miss the bowl do my head in. Either sort your aim out or sit down.

Not the first time I've stuck some paper down to cover up a suspicious splash on the floor. Last thing I want to do is risk having my kecks and my trousers round my ankles in the bathroom and them coming into contact with somebody else's puddle.

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Every afternoon without fail the same toilet cubicle ends up looking like this, picture doesn't really do it justice but someone keeps taking a load of toilet paper and dumping it on the floor next to the toilet. Someone also seems to like splashing as much water as they can around the sinks, the toilets resemble those of a primary school half the time. 
5cf127106f103_PB.thumb.jpg.08982143438a3aae20fda8f11b09a325.jpg

That used to happen in a previous office of mine. Could never understand it!

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Could be a good reason for that Torpar.
Folk who stand up when peeing but who miss the bowl do my head in. Either sort your aim out or sit down.
Not the first time I've stuck some paper down to cover up a suspicious splash on the floor. Last thing I want to do is risk having my kecks and my trousers round my ankles in the bathroom and them coming into contact with somebody else's puddle.


This. Don’t want to risk the sole of your shoes being caked in pish

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This. Don’t want to risk the sole of your shoes being caked in pish
I was a courier at Yodel in Perth and pish on your shoes would've been the least of your worries there. Every stall seemed to be like that toilet from Trainspotting. Folk that seemed to delight in missing the pan (ones and twos), toilet paper all over the floor and stuck to the walls. Jobbys smeared all over the walls. Think on that when you get a parcel from them. Not me obvs, I'm a hygienic sort.

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The unflushed work jobby is a horrible thing. There was one memorable one a while back at our place which alarmingly was about the diameter and length of a pint can.

It turned into a bit of a tourist attraction:

"You've got to go and see this..."

.

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I worked with a guy who left a week and a half ago (by left stopped turning up) insisting he could make 5,500 a week on charity bags...

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48 minutes ago, FairyBaws said:

I worked with a guy who left a week and a half ago (by left stopped turning up) insisting he could make 5,500 a week on charity bags...

Is this slang for "wealthy widows"?

the_producers_1968-02.jpg

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Maybe he was selling soiled underwear to perverts via mail order. A friend of mine worked with a chap who would buy used underwear for certain ‘specialist’ websites for his own dark purposes. Wanking, basically, he used them for wanking.

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47 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

Maybe he was selling soiled underwear to perverts via mail order. A friend of mine worked with a chap who would buy used underwear for certain ‘specialist’ websites for his own dark purposes. Wanking, basically, he used them for wanking.

Quote

A friend of mine worked with a chap

Was your friend also your work colleague?

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15 hours ago, FairyBaws said:

I worked with a guy who left a week and a half ago (by left stopped turning up) insisting he could make 5,500 a week on charity bags...

What do you mean by charity bags?

I got a "charity bag" through the door the other day. It was imploring me to fill it up with old clothes which would be sold to benefit people in developing countries AND some autism charity. Unless you looked very closely, you'd think it was a perfectly normal charitable endeavour. But no ...

  1. You donate clothes. They get sold in developing countries. (Hence helping people there)
  2. For ever TON of clothing, they punt £100 towards  the autism charity. Even with a very conservative estimate of £1 per kilo, for every £1,000 they make, they donate £100 to the charity. 

Of course, you could argue that's more than the charity would normally get. But on the other hand, the ONLY reason this company is donating money to charity is to make it appear like a completely charitable affair and get people to donate clothees they'd otherwise give to a charity shop (which gains 100% of the value PLUS gift aid).

Not sure where I'm going with this, or why I'm posting it here, but to sum up: Shady b*****ds. 

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