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I touched on this on pttgoyn the other week. This woman irritates me, even though she's not really doing anything wrong. It takes her 15 minutes to get ready to take a break and the same when it's finished to get ready to work again. E.g. Her morning break finishes and she then goes to the coffee machine but has to go round the whole room taking orders. This is actually alright but she occasionally digs people up to take a turn going too. She takes an hour for lunch but only actually eats on her return and it's loud crunchy food that she eats. And she chews with her mouth open. We're supposed to work until 15 minutes to clock off time and then pack up but she's so fucking slow, it takes her three times that to get out. Her IT skills are abysmal for a grown adult although her mental age is probably about twelve. Not a 2017 twelve year old but a twelve year old from when she was that age. If any procedure changes, it takes her about a month to pick it up and giggles when she forgets. She gets all excitable if someone is wearing the same colour top as her. I think the worst thing is her annual leave. I view this as respite from her annoying ways but the last few years, she's only taken one week off all year. The rest is taken as the odd day here and there. Every December, she has to scramble about taking random days.  Even at Christmas she will only take two days in between and come in on Hogmanay(which she calls New Years Eve, aaarrgghh) because we get away early. Seriously, take the day off and get about nine days in total. And she is fucking obsessed with the weather. I think she gets the vibe from me that I don't like her because she hasn't spoken to me for a few months now about non work stuff which suits me fine but she still irritates the life out of me.

 

And breathe!

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About 18, girlfriend on hols, a couple of spectacularly nice female work colleagues asked if I fancied a threesome after our shift. The words of a P&B poster rang in my ears "if you cheat on your bird I'll stab you with a screwdriver". Little did I know she was off servicing some Tenerife bouncers as I thanked the two lovelies for their kind offer but declined. Henry Hill is a terrible cock-blocker. Be A Ware xx

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1 minute ago, Shandon Par said:

About 18, girlfriend on hols, a couple of spectacularly nice female work colleagues asked if I fancied a threesome after our shift. The words of a P&B poster rang in my ears "if you cheat on your bird I'll stab you with a screwdriver". Little did I know she was off servicing some Tenerife bouncers as I thanked the two lovelies for their kind offer but declined. Henry Hill is a terrible cock-blocker. Be A Ware xx

Image result for really gif

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3 hours ago, microdave said:

I touched on this on pttgoyn the other week. This woman irritates me, even though she's not really doing anything wrong. It takes her 15 minutes to get ready to take a break and the same when it's finished to get ready to work again. E.g. Her morning break finishes and she then goes to the coffee machine but has to go round the whole room taking orders. This is actually alright but she occasionally digs people up to take a turn going too. She takes an hour for lunch but only actually eats on her return and it's loud crunchy food that she eats. And she chews with her mouth open. We're supposed to work until 15 minutes to clock off time and then pack up but she's so fucking slow, it takes her three times that to get out. Her IT skills are abysmal for a grown adult although her mental age is probably about twelve. Not a 2017 twelve year old but a twelve year old from when she was that age. If any procedure changes, it takes her about a month to pick it up and giggles when she forgets. She gets all excitable if someone is wearing the same colour top as her. I think the worst thing is her annual leave. I view this as respite from her annoying ways but the last few years, she's only taken one week off all year. The rest is taken as the odd day here and there. Every December, she has to scramble about taking random days.  Even at Christmas she will only take two days in between and come in on Hogmanay(which she calls New Years Eve, aaarrgghh) because we get away early. Seriously, take the day off and get about nine days in total. And she is fucking obsessed with the weather. I think she gets the vibe from me that I don't like her because she hasn't spoken to me for a few months now about non work stuff which suits me fine but she still irritates the life out of me.

 

And breathe!

All those things are just her being a woman.
Does she at least have big chebs?

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When I worked in Iceland in Aberdeen there was a sad as f**k jobsworth woman who genuinely seemed to believe the bullshit corporate stuff. She would actually come in on her days off fairly often to help stack shelves and took the pishy menial job deeply seriously and expected everyone else to do the same, despite most of us being students who came in for our weekend shifts hungover and tried to hide in the back for most of it.

Even worse is that she was an assistant manager so didn't actually have to do the grunt work we did and could just sit in the manager's office dozing most of the day should she wish.

I quit that job 7 years ago but I bet she's still there.

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Most of the boys I work with are fairly sound, bar a snakey old c**t who grasses on people for taking 10 minutes extra piece break and petty shit like that. He is best pals with one of the gaffers, who is dour faced worst c**t who spends all his time moaning about how shite our company is and how useless everyone apart from him is. Luckily the other gaffer is sound as f**k.

There's always one who likes grassing on work mates. Just ignore the c**t

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9 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

When I worked in Iceland in Aberdeen

^^^ Geographically impossible, imo

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One guy I work with gets right on my tits.

 

He is a total scrounger with no concept of money and is permanently skint. Each month after payday he will spend a fortune every day in our canteen on total shite for a week or so and leave himself with no money. (Godknows where it all goes) He then spends the other 3 weeks of the month lurching around looking for free stuff other people have brought in that he can eat - cakes, sweets etc and nicking stuff off other people's desks because he's starving. I wouldn't mind this so much but any time the team have a group buffet or what not he brings f**k all yet will be the first to get up and tear into the grub. I lost a bet yesterday which has a forfeit of bringing in some cakes for the team - he started waving his arms celebrating and demanding what kind of cakes he wanted brought in. He can f**k right off - I'll be bringing them on his day off.

 

Me and a couple of colleagues actually started a game where we were leaving stuff lying around to see if he would eat it- manky stuff like foosty biscuits and fruit that had seen better days etc but this c*** is like a fucking seagull - he nabs the whole lot.

 

 

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15 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

About 18, girlfriend on hols, a couple of spectacularly nice female work colleagues asked if I fancied a threesome after our shift. The words of a P&B poster rang in my ears "if you cheat on your bird I'll stab you with a screwdriver". Little did I know she was off servicing some Tenerife bouncers as I thanked the two lovelies for their kind offer but declined. Henry Hill is a terrible cock-blocker. Be A Ware xx

I love P&B. It's as if there always has to be only the one resident bullshitter. Was sjc, but then as soon as he stopped, BFTD strolled straight in with his stories and now he's calmed down Shandon has taken his place. 

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Can we change this thread into a cluedo work bs sex game?
Pamela Anderson in the smoke hut during a fire drill.

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One guy I work with gets right on my tits.
 
He is a total scrounger with no concept of money and is permanently skint. Each month after payday he will spend a fortune every day in our canteen on total shite for a week or so and leave himself with no money. (Godknows where it all goes) He then spends the other 3 weeks of the month lurching around looking for free stuff other people have brought in that he can eat - cakes, sweets etc and nicking stuff off other people's desks because he's starving. I wouldn't mind this so much but any time the team have a group buffet or what not he brings f**k all yet will be the first to get up and tear into the grub. I lost a bet yesterday which has a forfeit of bringing in some cakes for the team - he started waving his arms celebrating and demanding what kind of cakes he wanted brought in. He can f**k right off - I'll be bringing them on his day off.
 
Me and a couple of colleagues actually started a game where we were leaving stuff lying around to see if he would eat it- manky stuff like foosty biscuits and fruit that had seen better days etc but this c*** is like a fucking seagull - he nabs the whole lot.
 
 

There's someone like that at my work. Constantly skint but takes home 10k more than me with all the raises and overtime he does. He always asks me in front of others 'oh what's that where did you get that from' knowing full well it's m&s as a treat myself once a week. He then plays the hard luck card with his yellow sticker food. It pisses me off and it turns out his missus is blasting £200 a week on weed to get over post natal shit. I take a different break now, pretty petty but it's devious and deliberate to wind me up and justify his greedy over time bollocks. Look at poor little me I have to work seven days.
f**k off.

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2 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

Can we change this thread into a cluedo work bs sex game?
Pamela Anderson in the smoke hut during a fire drill.

Carol Vorderman in the council gritter during a disciplinary meeting.

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4 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:


There's someone like that at my work. Constantly skint but takes home 10k more than me with all the raises and overtime he does. He always asks me in front of others 'oh what's that where did you get that from' knowing full well it's m&s as a treat myself once a week. He then plays the hard luck card with his yellow sticker food. It pisses me off and it turns out his missus is blasting £200 a week on weed to get over post natal shit. I take a different break now, pretty petty but it's devious and deliberate to wind me up and justify his greedy over time bollocks. Look at poor little me I have to work seven days.
f**k off.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you do come across a little bit like you think the entire working population are out to get you. The amount of work complaints/bullying accusations you have made on here is incredible and if they're genuine then any sane person would've left their job a long time ago. 

Again not wanting to be a dick, but you seem very sensitive - maybe the guy just wonders where you got something for lunch cause it looks nice?

Edited by Honest_Man#1

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Not when it's said in a sarcastic voice or when he accuses me of being posh or snobby. It's just cuntish behaviour from someone who can't budget or tell his missus to stop buying weed.

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Better than I would have thought. Most of them a bit younger than me but we still have a laugh and good banter. Had a cracking night out in Manchester last night. In saying that there is, and isn't there always, one dick who doesn't participate.

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1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

Not when it's said in a sarcastic voice or when he accuses me of being posh or snobby. It's just cuntish behaviour from someone who can't budget or tell his missus to stop buying weed.

We've had a similar conversation before. There doesn't seem to be anywhere or anybody you can cope with. Offices are all much the same, maybe it's a complete change of direction you need. 

Do a Wunfellaff and live in the wilds and work on boats or whatever else there is around.

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