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5 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

Important person coming in today. Top manager, two shift leaders and twice the usual amount of staff in all morning, panicking away making everything immaculate for someone who comes in for ten minutes then fucks off, never to be seen again. No doubt being paid much more than all of the rest of us combined. Come in on a Monday or a Saturday when there's three people trying to do all that work, see what you think of the place then.

I remember some government bigwig came to interview staff at the Ministry of Paperclips where I worked.

The management saw fit to send Tam the Malcontent off to the basement to find some old files during the visit for some reason..

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I got a call from our IT department at a previous company I worked at asking why I was using so much bandwidth and I explained I was testing out a free trial on website at work to see how good it was before paying for it at home. It was a guitar tutorial website and the reason for the call, as the female it manager awkwardly put it, was because it was called Lick Library. I didn’t even consider what that would sound like to someone who doesn’t play guitar and was delighted she quickly realised I was telling the truth and not pulling the heid aff it to some porn site during my lunch break. 

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I got a call from our IT department at a previous company I worked at asking why I was using so much bandwidth and I explained I was testing out a free trial on website at work to see how good it was before paying for it at home. It was a guitar tutorial website and the reason for the call, as the female it manager awkwardly put it, was because it was called Lick Library. I didn’t even consider what that would sound like to someone who doesn’t play guitar and was delighted she quickly realised I was telling the truth and not pulling the heid aff it to some porn site during my lunch break. 

A site I use a fair bit for work is experts-exchange, it never used to have the hyphen and never a visit goes by without me saying (in my head) expert sex change.
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On 21/10/2021 at 15:21, The Moonster said:

I'm going to place this guys career ambition currently at the "coast it all the way to retirement" level. 

Is there any other way? I’ve been well and truly in that zone, since the first day I was gainfully employed. 

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On 22/10/2021 at 09:47, Empty It said:
On 22/10/2021 at 08:55, MEADOWXI said:
Been in new job 22 weeks. WFH full time. I have meet boss, but not meet my direct boss or any of the 7 in my team, or anyone else yet. Have two teams meetings a day but cameras are not switched on. There is a night out tonight for everyone ( about 24 of 30+ going ). 5 or 6 of us are in same boat of having never met anyone.
Despite my general reservations about work nights out I have been persuaded to go. I feel a free bar and drunken paranoias for many tomorrow. 

Work night out cant be that bad when you work from home full time, you don't have to walk past the people you made a c**t of yourself in front of every day.

If you know you made a c**t of it, sure, but when you wake up on Wednesday morning with about 8 missed calls, 5 completed calls, a message from your flatmate asking you to turn the tunes down, a rip in your jeans, a cut on your hand, and no memory past 11pm then it's much better being able to gauge your colleagues reactions face-to-face than trying to guess through limited Teams interactions.

Speaking hypothetically of course.

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20 hours ago, MONKMAN said:

Is there any other way? I’ve been well and truly in that zone, since the first day I was gainfully employed. 

There was never enough of this hammered into my head from a young age and I think you should spend your free time being a motivational speaker to school leavers on career days.

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Is there any other way? I’ve been well and truly in that zone, since the first day I was gainfully employed. 
A common topic for me, but these guys who are still grafting past retirement age have me truly, truly stumped. This patter of "oh I dont know what I would do" or "I would be bored".....

Jesus Christ man, I knows loads, and the older guys always know more, of guys who dropped dead early on in their retirement. Heed the warnings. Especially working in an industry with various substances and shift patterns that will all have taken a toll on how long you can expect to get.


Fucking bored..... Aye well why not come and sit next to me on a 12 hour night shift and we'll make stuff go through pipes [emoji849]
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On 22/10/2021 at 18:13, Miguel Sanchez said:

Important person coming in today. Top manager, two shift leaders and twice the usual amount of staff in all morning, panicking away making everything immaculate for someone who comes in for ten minutes then fucks off, never to be seen again. No doubt being paid much more than all of the rest of us combined. Come in on a Monday or a Saturday when there's three people trying to do all that work, see what you think of the place then.

Many years ago I worked for an IT Services company that did this sort of thing whenever a prospective client would visit. The receptionist or one of the managers would send this type of thing out in an email to all staff. I always got a good laugh at one particular comment of "make sure there are no unsightly boxes on desks" firstly, there was rarely a time someone had a box on their desk, secondly if there was, the standard of box I wouldn't regard as unsightly and lastly this client isn't going to come here close to sealing the deal, spot a box on someone's desk and think "Oh f**k did you see that box on the desk?! Close one that, we better get the f**k out of here!" 

 

On 23/10/2021 at 10:55, steelmen said:


A site I use a fair bit for work is experts-exchange, it never used to have the hyphen and never a visit goes by without me saying (in my head) expert sex change.

I remember those days well, even the pre-hyphen days. Got many a resolution on that site tbh. 

Edited by thistledo
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59 minutes ago, Empty It said:

Guys at work including the boss always make people feel bad about taking sick days when ill. Off today feeling shit and dreading going back to all the little comments.

Lee Wallace them to HR.

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1 hour ago, Empty It said:

Guys at work including the boss always make people feel bad about taking sick days when ill. Off today feeling shit and dreading going back to all the little comments.

You would think after the last 2 years that peoples views on dragging yourself into the office and infecting everyone else might have softened somewhat.

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You would think after the last 2 years that peoples views on dragging yourself into the office and infecting everyone else might have softened somewhat.
Aye but it's all office guys that have the problem so minimal contact with us either in the workshop or out on jobs so doesn't directly effect them. It's not a big deal just gets under my skin a bit.
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15 minutes ago, Empty It said:

There is no HR, smallish company and the boss is one of the owners.

Plant E.coli bacteria all around the place and become the boss' new hero for keeping the place going while they're all dead/in the hospital.

That's the most responsible suggestion I have, unfortunately.

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Plant E.coli bacteria all around the place and become the boss' new hero for keeping the place going while they're all dead/in the hospital.
That's the most responsible suggestion I have, unfortunately.
I'll keep an eye out for someone selling E Coli on Gumtree.
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