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Been in new job 22 weeks. WFH full time. I have meet boss, but not meet my direct boss or any of the 7 in my team, or anyone else yet. Have two teams meetings a day but cameras are not switched on. There is a night out tonight for everyone ( about 24 of 30+ going ). 5 or 6 of us are in same boat of having never met anyone.

Despite my general reservations about work nights out I have been persuaded to go. I feel a free bar and drunken paranoias for many tomorrow. 

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Been in new job 22 weeks. WFH full time. I have meet boss, but not meet my direct boss or any of the 7 in my team, or anyone else yet. Have two teams meetings a day but cameras are not switched on. There is a night out tonight for everyone ( about 24 of 30+ going ). 5 or 6 of us are in same boat of having never met anyone.
Despite my general reservations about work nights out I have been persuaded to go. I feel a free bar and drunken paranoias for many tomorrow. 
Work night out cant be that bad when you work from home full time, you don't have to walk past the people you made a c**t of yourself in front of every day.
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1 hour ago, Jacksgranda said:

I got a not so subtle hint about viewing "Pie & Mash", this was back in 2014/15. We were a (very small) branch office of a multinational firm, all internet useage could be monitored from London. Apparently the boss had been queried why he'd had the golf on all day (it may have been a Ryder Cup) - he said he'd been dipping in and out of it rather than watching it constantly (not sure if I believe him to be honest about not watching it constantly).

I continued to leave "Pie & Mash" open most of the day, and never had an issue with it.

I use the 4G on my phone for all P&B browsing, and for anything like the golf scenario above I take in my personal laptop and have it on to watch on and off during the day whilst I work. Undetectable, and glorious.

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18 hours ago, oaksoft said:

I won't lie. This Prof. story is becoming more fascinating by the day.

I'd have to agree, I've become quite absorbed with the whole saga along with many others it seems.

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15 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

I use the 4G on my phone for all P&B browsing, and for anything like the golf scenario above I take in my personal laptop and have it on to watch on and off during the day whilst I work. Undetectable, and glorious.

I have a very unsophisticated pay as you go phone, so that wasn't an option. And I couldn't be bothered carting my laptop about, plugs were scarce on the ground, tbh, (hard to believe in a modern office) only took in my laptop if I was doing "private" work, and needed stuff printed.

Anyway, it's not an issue now as I'm RETIRED so can watch what I want, when I want!

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1 minute ago, Jacksgranda said:

I have a very unsophisticated pay as you go phone, so that wasn't an option. And I couldn't be bothered carting my laptop about, plugs were scarce on the ground, tbh, (hard to believe in a modern office) only took in my laptop if I was doing "private" work, and needed stuff printed.

Anyway, it's not an issue now as I'm RETIRED so can watch what I want, when I want!

Aye right...take that wean to school...collect that wean from school...go to the shop. We know who wears the troosers in your house.

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4 minutes ago, Rugster said:

Aye but you’re not getting paid to do it!

I've got my pension, does that not count as wages?

3 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

Aye right...take that wean to school...collect that wean from school...go to the shop. We know who wears the troosers drives the car in your house.

FTFY

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Important person coming in today. Top manager, two shift leaders and twice the usual amount of staff in all morning, panicking away making everything immaculate for someone who comes in for ten minutes then fucks off, never to be seen again. No doubt being paid much more than all of the rest of us combined. Come in on a Monday or a Saturday when there's three people trying to do all that work, see what you think of the place then.

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One of my old gaffers got an email from IT questioning his heavy usage, and suggested that if he was transferring large volumes of data, to get in touch with them as there would be more efficient ways.... A fishing email if you will.

He sent a reply saying

"I have been watching the snooker on the works PC. Hope this clears everything up."

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1 hour ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

Important person coming in today. Top manager, two shift leaders and twice the usual amount of staff in all morning, panicking away making everything immaculate for someone who comes in for ten minutes then fucks off, never to be seen again. No doubt being paid much more than all of the rest of us combined. Come in on a Monday or a Saturday when there's three people trying to do all that work, see what you think of the place then.

It’s absolutely hilarious the panic that happens over this.    Senior staff are not there to see how clean the place is.  They want to see the core of the business, what’s going to make them a big bonus, and that’s not if there’s a speck of dust on the skirting board or not.

 

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16 minutes ago, parsforlife said:

It’s absolutely hilarious the panic that happens over this.    Senior staff are not there to see how clean the place is.  They want to see the core of the business, what’s going to make them a big bonus, and that’s not if there’s a speck of dust on the skirting board or not.

 

And the only takeaway they have is that the place looks too good and there are far too many employees so they can make some cuts.........

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Ah yes. "The bigwigs are coming, get the place tidied ASAP".  this happened at work 2 weeks ago. Did the c***s turn up?? Did they f**k . We are in the middle of a refurbishment, which makes keeping the place tidy a little bit difficult at times. 

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One of my old gaffers got an email from IT questioning his heavy usage, and suggested that if he was transferring large volumes of data, to get in touch with them as there would be more efficient ways.... A fishing email if you will.

He sent a reply saying

"I have been watching the snooker on the works PC. Hope this clears everything up."
Aye but only from the green.
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3 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

One of my old gaffers got an email from IT questioning his heavy usage, and suggested that if he was transferring large volumes of data, to get in touch with them as there would be more efficient ways.... A fishing email if you will.

He sent a reply saying

"I have been watching the snooker on the works PC. Hope this clears everything up."

He sounds an absolute hero. An absolute unemployed hero, but a hero nonetheless.

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On 21/10/2021 at 14:54, Day of the Lords said:

Back in 2009 I was in a boring as f**k job with the Council's Roads Department, and whiled away much of my time pissing about on here. Sadly this was also in the days where internet usage was heavily monitored. I was called in the to managers office to explain why my internet usage had been 20X higher than anyone else's in the last month and asked what "Pie & Bovril" was. That was awkward. 

I think I might have posted this before but at an old job a few years ago, the ops manager came over to our team and asked if any of us knew what a particular site was used for; the site in question is one of those free movie streaming ones (I was only familiar with it as my girlfriend would regularly use it to watch shows and films, won't name it as its likely a malware infested hellhole) I awkwardly told the ops manager that I'd heard of it before, she asked whether it was a dodgy site and I said it was a bit iffy as far as I knew.

Turned out someone on the backshift in a different department had been regularly using it when it was quiet and the IT department at the company had flagged it up to the ops manager, said silly bugger who was going onto the iffy site(s) ended up getting summarilly dismissed/gross misconducted for misuse of IT equipment. Had limited sympathy for them in the end as there's plenty of safe for work ways to kill time whenever its quiet on shift. P&B chief among them - thanks, Div.

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If we're doing misuse of IT equipment...

When I was a fresh-faced young shaver at college, back in the days before cloud storage, we each had a 10MB storage drive on the college network for saving our work. I was bored in class one day and started downloading part of a game that I'd been gradually leeching off some warez site for days at home, thinking I'd take the files away on floppy disks (did I mention it was a very long time ago?)

Suddenly Novell Netware error messages started spreading across the screens in the classroom, and people started complaining that they'd lost their copies of whatever we'd been working on that morning. I managed to shut down my download, as I obviously didn't want to get caught with pirate software, but it didn't matter - the college's sole tech burst into the room in a fury and started looking for me, as the heaviest user of the 33.6k internet connection that morning. According to him, I'd filled up the storage drive and caused literally everyone (including, and especially, the principal) to be locked out of their files, and to lose data from what they'd been working on  :shutup

I got away with it, though. When he calmed down the next day, the angry tech admitted that he hadn't configured the network storage properly; everyone's data was stored on a single hard drive split into hundreds of accounts, and the 10MB limit hadn't been implemented properly, so people could store as much as they wanted (I'd taken up a monstrous 20MB). The other issue that came to light was that an unnamed faculty member's account took up two-thirds of the entire storage drive with his (by Nineties standards) extensive collection of gentlemen's special interest literature  :lol:

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