Work colleagues

[Guest bernardblack]

1 hour ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

This brings back memories of when I worked in London, where my teammates on Burns Night bought a microwaveable haggis, neeps and tatties meal and summoned me to the canteen where they all stood watching me eat it. I think they were trying to be nice, but it was surreal looking back.

On another subject, I can’t be the only person who utterly despises, and refuse to do it for longer than about 10 seconds, work small talk. If I’m speaking to my client or a contractor, I won’t discuss the weather or anything with them and will just fire straight into the relevant subject matter to save time. When I work from home and listen to my partners calls going on, at least 50% of the time on the call is utterly pointless wasted time that could be spent actually working.

The latter is spot on. You’ve either got a relationship with clients where you can discuss something that they’ll actually want to speak about (football/family etc) but if you don’t then “how’s the weather your way?” is poor patter

[GordonD]

2 hours ago, Rasputin said:

I’d always chuck in a Pernod. 

Nothing to do with leaving/birthdays etc. but I remember a woman in the office telling us that her mum had a bottle of Pernod in the house. One day when she was out, her dad took a sneaky wee tipple  then so she wouldn't notice he topped up the bottle. With water.

[Hillonearth]

1 hour ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

This brings back memories of when I worked in London, where my teammates on Burns Night bought a microwaveable haggis, neeps and tatties meal and summoned me to the canteen where they all stood watching me eat it. I think they were trying to be nice, but it was surreal looking back.

On another subject, I can’t be the only person who utterly despises, and refuse to do it for longer than about 10 seconds, work small talk. If I’m speaking to my client or a contractor, I won’t discuss the weather or anything with them and will just fire straight into the relevant subject matter to save time. When I work from home and listen to my partners calls going on, at least 50% of the time on the call is utterly pointless wasted time that could be spent actually working.

The over-cheerful punter that phones you from down south:

"And how's the weather in sunny Glasgow...?"

"Pishing. Next?"

It's not as bad as lift banter though...those insecure souls who can't travel three floors in silence:

"Oh, well...it's nearly Friday..."

At 10.30 on Tuesday morning.

[Hedgecutter]

11 minutes ago, Hillonearth said:

It's not as bad as lift banter though...those insecure souls who can't travel three floors in silence:

"Oh, well...it's nearly Friday..."

At 10.30 on Tuesday morning.

... or alternatively, the quiet impatient pfffffftttttt  (or slow tutting) in an attempt to break the silence without committing to smalltalk. 

[Hillonearth]

4 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

... or alternatively, the quiet impatient pfffffftttttt  (or slow tutting) in an attempt to break the silence without committing to smalltalk. 

Absolute worst case scenario is when someone starts either quietly whistling or humming to themselves to while away the fifteen second journey.

Subhuman scum.

[ICTChris]

I judge you all for taking the lift.  If you can use the stairs you should. 

[Sergeant Wilson]

3 hours ago, Pato said:

Leaving to a new job: "best of luck"

Having a baby/getting married: "congrats"

Deid: "sorry to hear that"

I'm the Hemingway of card messages

I ditto below someone else's message.

[ICTChris]

2 minutes ago, Baptiste Bourgeois said:

Can I ask the forums opinion on what is the upper limit for an acceptable time to be absent from work due to a parent dying?

It would depend on the circumstances.

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 minute ago, Baptiste Bourgeois said:

Can I ask the forums opinion on what is the upper limit for an acceptable time to be absent from work due to a parent dying?

Special leave is a week. Self cert for another week, then it needs to be certificated.sick leave.

Although, your question is impossible to answer in real life.

[Mark Connolly]

3 hours ago, Empty It said:

3 hours ago, Rasputin said:

At my old work, when someone was leaving we’d go to the pub and everyone would choose a spirit to put in a pint glass. Everyone would choose the strongest, most minging drinks and the lucky person would have to down their pint of 15 or so shots. They usually got quite a nice present too. 

There would always be one c**t who chooses Kahlua or Tia Maria.

Baileys and a shot of lime cordial to make it curdle and end up as chunks that needed to be chewed.

[Derry Alli]

14 minutes ago, Baptiste Bourgeois said:

Can I ask the forums opinion on what is the upper limit for an acceptable time to be absent from work due to a parent dying?

Guy in my work took a month. He had lost his dad to a long illness the year before and was off a week. His mum died suddenly - he was about 26 and a single father. 

He come back to work to a letter and it was suddenly sign posted all over the factory of your bereavement rights. 

"Mother or Father (inclusive of adoptive) 3 days leave". 

[Bairnardo]

The correct response for that sort of thing is to go immediately to your doctor and get a line. Had to put up with some shit the first time it happened to me. No such mistake was made the second time. 

[Mark Connolly]

7 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

Guy in my work took a month. He had lost his dad to a long illness the year before and was off a week. His mum died suddenly - he was about 26 and a single father. 

He come back to work to a letter and it was suddenly sign posted all over the factory of your bereavement rights. 

"Mother or Father (inclusive of adoptive) 3 days leave". 

Absolute arsehole behaviour on the part of the company there.

[Derry Alli]

Just now, Mark Connolly said:

Absolute arsehole behaviour on the part of the company there.

Yup. Only recently had a guy have an accident at work and be told he had to come back in as he was on light duties. Two weeks later he went back to another hospital appointment and they gave him a three week line, he needs to be off incase another accident happens. 

Hands it in to his line manager who then gets the owner and MD phoning the employee telling him to phone his doctor and tell him he wants to go back to work - which he does because he's scared for his job. 

Owner is then in the paper a week later saying how he has saved X amount of jobs and "we are tight nit. All care for one another and are a big family" 

Why was he in the paper? Somebody had retired.

There was no need for the owner to be in the interview - or the two hour tour of the factory with accompanying pictures. 

[Moomintroll]

21 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

Baileys and a shot of lime cordial to make it curdle and end up as chunks that needed to be chewed.

Ate/drank a bowl of cement mixer once at a party, the next day was not fun.

[Busta Nut]

43 minutes ago, Baptiste Bourgeois said:

Can I ask the forums opinion on what is the upper limit for an acceptable time to be absent from work due to a parent dying?

Impossible to say really. 
Ma da has terminal cancer (he's "ok" just now)and my work are generally ok but you can bet yer arse I will be getting a line. 

[Bairnardo]

1 minute ago, Busta Nut said:

Impossible to say really. 
Ma da has terminal cancer (he's "ok" just now)and my work are generally ok but you can bet yer arse I will be getting a line. 

Absolutely. Do not rely on a HR dept doing right by you, because the stress that it will cause you is precisely what you dont need. I went through it when my mum died, and they also quibbled over a day when my kid was born. When my dad died I went to the doctors immediately and told them to sign me off which they obviously did no bother. No c**t telling my how long to grieve for. 

[Guest bernardblack]

1 hour ago, Hillonearth said:

The over-cheerful punter that phones you from down south:

"And how's the weather in sunny Glasgow...?"

"Pishing. Next?"

It's not as bad as lift banter though...those insecure souls who can't travel three floors in silence:

"Oh, well...it's nearly Friday..."

At 10.30 on Tuesday morning.

 

[NotThePars]

 

I need to go back and watch more of 30 Rock. That show starts pretty strong and I’ve heard it stays consistently good.

[CountyFan]

On the topic of collections, I'm leaving next week and for the past week there have been people coming into my office (which is shared) clearly to drop into a collection for me with my colleague. Awkward as f**k. How many times can you say "you REALLY dont need to" before they get the hint? 

On parental bereavement, it depends on lots of things. My mum died suddenly in 2017, she was only 57. A proper dirty shock. I took 2 weeks, couldn't stand it any more then went back to work. 2 weeks after that my gran died and I was away to come back to work before my boss sat me down and recommended I took some proper time off. They'd obviously clocked I was struggling more than I had. They were really great about it all. Had about a month off altogether and it was really needed.