Work colleagues

[The Moonster]

Aye, we have a woman in here who claims she works through umpteen quotes every day and that she was working late into the evenings. What she didn't realise is our system is transparent and you can filter by name, so we could see exactly how much she had done. She was doing 5 quotes every day aside from a Friday, where she'd do 2.

It's fully expected she'll be the next manager of this department too.

[Hillonearth]

11 hours ago, boulderdomb said:

Pre-Covid colleague keeps walking around the office announcing to everyone how busy he is (pretty sure he spent about 40% of his day away from his desk telling people how busy he is, the extra hours he puts in and how many emails he gets per minute he's been standing beside you).

Since WFH, he's resorted to broadcasting each morning on the teams channel how late he was working and how many emails he has since logging in.

Why are some people so insecure in their jobs that they need to constantly hammer home to everyone how busy they are when in reality they're doing f**k all (including being backed up by metrics but can talk a good game to middle management about how good they are)?

There was nothing more satisfying this morning (I am still on a high) than seeing his face during our weekly scrum when I asked him that why if he's working so hard for so long he isn't getting anything done.

Yeah, most places seem to have a few of them - generally sad-acts who when it comes down to it are eminently dispensable, but think they can cover for their lack of impact or output by sheer persistent presence.  The ones we have aren't handling the working from home thing well as a lot of what they do is about visibility - being first in every morning and last out at night.

The truth is if someone's routinely pulling 12 hour shifts or whatever, either the job needs looked at or the person that's currently doing it does. Some jobs can incrementally grow arms and legs till the incumbent's running flat out just to stand still - in those cases the job either needs split or some tasks redistributed to other people.

I'd say on maybe four out of five occasions though the problem is the person doing it.

[Fullerene]

I recall one job application many many years ago.  They were looking for a dedicated hard worker.  The interviewer told me of the time he had to sleep at his desk.  He had to stay there all night watching a computer that might go beep.  They were having difficulty finding anyone who might be interested.
 

[trainspotter]

1 hour ago, Hillonearth said:

Yeah, most places seem to have a few of them - generally sad-acts who when it comes down to it are eminently dispensable, but think they can cover for their lack of impact or output by sheer persistent presence. 

Additionally, the ones I've encountered are of the belief that the entire organisation will grind to a halt if they don't show up for work.

[sugna]

3 hours ago, TheScarf said:

 ...are a Haemophiliac...

Shouldn't be allowed to work with animals, then.

[Boghead ranter]

I'm sure I've posted this before, but I was once grilled at a monthly review because I was the only manager who worked pretty my exact hours.  

The grilling only stopped when I countered with the fact that my team were exceeding every target set for them, and I was exceeding all my personal targets 're coaching and supporting my staff.  I asked if the query shouldn't be why every other manager couldn't manage their workload without working extra hours every week.

[Guest bernardblack]

We have a two hour Xmas party on Teams Friday afternoon. No idea how this is going to go tbh

[coprolite]

5 minutes ago, bernardblack said:

We have a two hour Xmas party on Teams Friday afternoon. No idea how this is going to go tbh

[DA Baracus]

9 minutes ago, bernardblack said:

We have a two hour Xmas party on Teams Friday afternoon. No idea how this is going to go tbh

Some department had a similar thing on Friday. One guy had a good time apparently as he accidentally said as much in the wrong chat (along the lines of "Let's get pished! weeeeeeeeeee waaaaaaaaa woooooo!!").

Unfortunately for him said chat was the 'All Staff Meeting - Update from the Dean' chat, meaning that every single staff member in the school saw it.

Very amusing.

[Clockwork]

I’ve been asked to write a Christmas Quiz to do on our Teams meeting tomorrow, where ‘’we can all have a wee drink on-line and share a bit of banter too’’.
The colleague who asked if might be able to put some thing together has allocated me an hour and a half! The whole thing will take 10 minutes including instructions. Bah humbug!

[Guest bernardblack]

I’ve been asked to write a Christmas Quiz to do on our Teams meeting tomorrow, where ‘’we can all have a wee drink on-line and share a bit of banter too’’.
The colleague who asked if might be able to put some thing together has allocated me an hour and a half! The whole thing will take 10 minutes including instructions. Bah humbug!

Go full Father Ted speech

[DA Baracus]

13 minutes ago, Clockwork said:

I’ve been asked to write a Christmas Quiz to do on our Teams meeting tomorrow, where ‘’we can all have a wee drink on-line and share a bit of banter too’’.
The colleague who asked if might be able to put some thing together has allocated me an hour and a half! The whole thing will take 10 minutes including instructions. Bah humbug!

Stream a short film and say that the quiz will be based on it.

[thistledo]

1 hour ago, bernardblack said:

We have a two hour Xmas party on Teams Friday afternoon. No idea how this is going to go tbh

Expect it to be fucking shite. Unless you are attending with a small group of patter merchants, then it might be ok. 

I can't express just how shite it is on a Friday, at home talking to people you largely couldn't give a f**k about on webcam.

[Lex]

 

Think I’ll be having IT issues about 4pm on Friday and that will be me done for the year. No Bah humbugs allowed!

 

[Fullerene]

Even several years on, I can still recall dedicated hard working colleagues who thought taking a day off meant coming to work wearing jeans. 

[The Moonster]

Is there anyone, in any company in the world, who leads a "Social Committee" that isn't a complete fucking weapon? 

If I ever own my own company and have to interview anyone, my first question will be "Do you have any desire to be the head of the Social Committee?" and if the answer is "yes" the trapdoor opens.

[Markka]

Is there anyone, in any company in the world, who leads a "Social Committee" that isn't a complete fucking weapon? 
If I ever own my own company and have to interview anyone, my first question will be "Do you have any desire to be the head of the Social Committee?" and if the answer is "yes" the trapdoor opens.

I'm on the anti-social committee at my work. It's just me, by myself, having some beers. Would recommend it.

[Sergeant Wilson]

2 hours ago, bernardblack said:

We have a two hour Xmas party on Teams Friday afternoon. No idea how this is going to go tbh

[Sergeant Wilson]

6 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Aye, we have a woman in here who claims she works through umpteen quotes every day and that she was working late into the evenings. What she didn't realise is our system is transparent and you can filter by name, so we could see exactly how much she had done. She was doing 5 quotes every day aside from a Friday, where she'd do 2.

It's fully expected she'll be the next manager of this department too.

The thing I hate most about people fiddling stats is the invariably transparent way they do it. If you're trying to falsify your performance at least out some thought in to it.

[Miguel Sanchez]

My work has abandoned all pretence of Christmas and Christmas-themed activities this year, mercifully.