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2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

My mate Kevin would regularly lock his door and go for a kip on his office floor.

I once went along the corridor and he forgot to lock the door and I woke him up by battering the door of his bonce.

I Used to occasionally sleep in my office at lunchtime. 

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When I worked in Inverness I worked with a guy who ate his lunch in a toilet cubicle. He was a pretty strange guy, I think this was the legacy of being bullied when he was a kid. I felt sorry for him as people in the office would take the piss out of him and played tricks on him and I wasn’t really old enough or confident enough to stand up to them for it, even though I didn’t join in.

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2 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

When I worked in Inverness I worked with a guy who ate his lunch in a toilet cubicle. He was a pretty strange guy, I think this was the legacy of being bullied when he was a kid. I felt sorry for him as people in the office would take the piss out of him and played tricks on him and I wasn’t really old enough or confident enough to stand up to them for it, even though I didn’t join in.
 

Gloves?

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6 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Possibly should go in the OFTW thread but does anyone have weirdos who choose to eat their lunch in their car at their work?

Right now all of us are asked to stay at our desks and eat to avoid everyone touching different surfaces around the canteen, but there is one guy who despite having a corner of an office all to himself decides to eat his lunch in his car every day. I can't understand why and have reached the conclusion that he is a deviant and is probably out there ejaculating onto his piece.

It would be a good way to guarantee peace from your colleagues at lunch which I am a massive fan of. 

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I can usually be found sitting on an external staircase eating my lunch but that's because I do have an ever increasing desire to thrust a knife through the folk I share a canteen with throats. There's a couple of folk who breathe through their nose at an unpleasantly amplified level. It's easier to just not be around them. 

I also work with a guy who can't eat his lunch unless it has crisps on it. Sandwich, roll, soup, pot noodle - anything. It has to have crisps on it he claims. 

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1 hour ago, itzdrk said:

It would be a good way to guarantee peace from your colleagues at lunch which I am a massive fan of. 

There’s a guy at my work who every lunch time  loudly reads through the entire sky sports transfer rumour section. Nobody else responds to anything he says as nobody gives a f**k who *insert any EPL team* are rumoured to be signing, but he still reads through the whole thing anyway. 

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26 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

OOH THAT LOOKS HEALTHY OH YOU MADE IT YOURSELF OH VERY WELL DONE NOT SURE HOW YOU HAVE THE TIME  WHAT WITH GETTING THE KIDS OFF TO SCHOOL AND GETTING HERE I JUST BUY A SANGGGGGWICH ACROSS THE ROAD

You have triggered me!

I absolutely hate such nonsense comments! I often took in porridge for breakfast (done the night before so all I had to do was microwave it at work) but stopped after someone asked me if it was Weetabix and how her kids love Weetabix. That sounds fairly innocuous but was the last straw in a long line of inane pish from idiots.

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My work have basically told us on Friday that due to the size of the office and company, it's unlikely that even post-pandemic, we'll ever go back to the 'everyone in the office 5 days a week' patter that they'd insist on pre-virus.

It looks like home working, or at least splitting of time is here to stay for us and I'm quite fucking delighted. I couldn't care less if I never spoke to about 95% of the folk I work with again. I am now at the stage where I'm working more efficiently from home anyway and in normal circumstances, could probably get away with showing face one day a month to post statements.

Aside from that? I'll hunker down here quite happily. Now that the gyms are open, I've got a nice wee routine of getting up at 5am, getting my workout done and back up the road to start my shift. 

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9 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

WHATS THAT? A SALAD? YE CANNAE HAVE A SALAD FOR LUNCH! D'YOU NO LIKE BREAD? JUST FANCIED A CHANGE? PFF NO CHANCE YOU'D CATCH ME EATING THAT. YOU'LL HAVE A RUMBLING TUMMY IN AN HOUR!

Rabbit food ??!!?    Did you make that yourself?  

Yes I did,  I made it because that’s what I wanted to eat and I am highly trained chef to the point I can slice up a cucumber.  

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2 minutes ago, djchapsticks said:

My work have basically told us on Friday that due to the size of the office and company, it's unlikely that even post-pandemic, we'll ever go back to the 'everyone in the office 5 days a week' patter that they'd insist on pre-virus.

It looks like home working, or at least splitting of time is here to stay for us and I'm quite fucking delighted. I couldn't care less if I never spoke to about 95% of the folk I work with again. I am now at the stage where I'm working more efficiently from home anyway and in normal circumstances, could probably get away with showing face one day a month to post statements.

Aside from that? I'll hunker down here quite happily. Now that the gyms are open, I've got a nice wee routine of getting up at 5am, getting my workout done and back up the road to start my shift. 

When social distancing is over, companies who don't give employees the choice (when there feasibly is one I mean) will see a big drop in productivity and a huge rise in employee dissatisfaction and most likely illness and absence when they force everyone back in to the office full time. They'll probably see a big increase in staff turnover too.

This is a huge moment in how we work and should be a huge turning point. It's been shown that so many people not only can work from home, but prefer it, and the benefits to employees and employers alike are significant. Those who don't offer options for working from home will be left behind (hopefully), as more people realise that doing so gives them more time to themselves and can hugely cut down on stress.

Folk will still want to work in an office or other fixed location, for a variety of reasons, and there's no issue with that, as that rather demonstrates the point, that there should be an option. So many people don't want to go back to an inefficient way of working and living and giving them no option will not play well at all. 

Move with the times or get left behind, and I really hope employers take heed.

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25 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

WHATS THAT? A SALAD? YE CANNAE HAVE A SALAD FOR LUNCH! D'YOU NO LIKE BREAD? JUST FANCIED A CHANGE? PFF NO CHANCE YOU'D CATCH ME EATING THAT. YOU'LL HAVE A RUMBLING TUMMY IN AN HOUR!

Someone gawping at/discussing your meal really is quite offensive and deeply offputting isn't it.

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7 hours ago, deej said:

image.png.40fd66a02325644b2abda6e3aca824d1.png

 

Received this belter of an out of office earlier

6 hours ago, Rugster said:

It’s more detailed than a guy I used to work with. He would just put “out of office” on his and nothing else. 

This is ideal.  A million times better than the ones that have a ridiculously self indulgent story detailing why they are away, why being away will have them not responding and there detailed plan on how they plan to handle emails on their return.

a return date in kinda helpful but you really don’t need much, especially if it’s just internal.  I barely read any,  your away, I’ll not expect you to deal with it now, you’ll see my email when you get back,  I know what one of your colleagues to contact if I need a quick answer.  Just like every single person ever who takes a holiday.  The company doesn’t fall apart just cos your not here.

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