Work colleagues

[sugna]

8 hours ago, Raidernation said:

I now taught a lassie called Rosie Cock

Should be OK there, it's unpossible for her to fail.

[Hillonearth]

13 hours ago, peasy23 said:

I had no idea this c**t stayed in Scotland tbh.
 

I'd want to go back to school as well if I had to spend the holidays locked up in 0001 Cemetery Lane with the Addams family.

Far left one looks disturbingly like some Boys From Brazil cloning experiment it has to be said.

[weirdcal]

There's a guy we sometimes have dealings with at work - posh, English, works down south - whose first name is Joby.
He genuinely doesn't understand why we all find it hilarious up here.

That's not Mr mussell is it? That name cropped up at last work place.
Call centre putting a call through for a Mr mussell and then the first name cropped up.
I needed a moment to compose myself

[Hillonearth]

9 minutes ago, weirdcal said:

That's not Mr mussell is it? That name cropped up at last work place.
Call centre putting a call through for a Mr mussell and then the first name cropped up.
I needed a moment to compose myself

No, his actual surname is fairly nondescript and doesn't live up to the promise of his first name - Joby Mussel is a double dunt.

Not as much as Brown would be though.

[Todd_is_God]

19 hours ago, Mr. Alli said:

I once dated a girl who had the same first name as me. To this day she is still the only girl I've ever met call Brian. 

Pitching legend Madison Bumgarner once dated a girl called...

Madison Bumgarner

https://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/12/madison-bumgarner-once-dated-a-girl-named-madison-bumgarner

[JamesP_81]

That's not Mr mussell is it? That name cropped up at last work place.
Call centre putting a call through for a Mr mussell and then the first name cropped up.
I needed a moment to compose myself

I used to have a huge list of cracking names from my call centre days (the things you would do to make it that little bit more bearable) but it's now long gone. Some that stick in my mind are:-

Norma Strain
Ben Kenobi
Dr Death
Mr Akinboabye
Ping Poo
William Anker
James Bond (phoning to insure an Aston Martin)
And Bruce Wayne, fairly innocuous on its own but trying to hold it together on the call when you're mate next to you comes out with 'to the bat cave!' takes another level of professionalism and good use of the mute button!

[Thistle_do_nicely]

On 03/09/2020 at 11:38, weirdcal said:

Do you work on a vpn?
Take a before log in speed test and after.
Our old vpn was completely incapable of handling us working from home
Pre speeds of 140 down 30 up and a ping of 9 dropped to 3 down, under 1 up and 90 seconds ping

The new one is better and also allows you pick a gateway (handy if it turns out your local gateway is beansed and another nearby one isn't)

If its the vpn then log a ticket with IT, they can probably do nothing for you but it would cover your ass if brought up.

The other thing to look at (and I think some providers will help with this) is isolating a connection just for your laptop.
Some in my work had to get the 5ghz band earmarked soley for their laptop whilst the 2.4 was left for everything else.

The joys of 6 months of this wfh pish

I took a strategy of doing nothing but flinging in the odd mention of how laggy it was in the team chat and any time I had to email my line manager.

It would appear to have worked, I'm guessing there's been some IT wizardry behind the scenes because it's been working at a tolerable level the past few days since I posted about it, genuinely makes the day go through faster when there's not a full 1-2 second delay on every fucking click on the screen.

My partner is fairly happy with this turn of events too, seemingly (without me even realising it tbh) she thought I was going to end up having a breakdown as she heard me cursing with alarming regularity. According to her a stock favourite phrase during this difficult time was "ANY CHANCE YOU COULD FUCKIN' WORK AT SOME POINT TODAY? THAT WOULD BE NICE" and slight variants thereof. 

edit: it feels like I've set up a nice easy joke for someone to make in the thread, but I'm not seeing it. A half-arsed "well done on your hard work today" single line, non-specific email to anyone that can make one.

Edited September 8, 2020 by Thistle_do_nicely

[Oscar P]

Billy Connolly told the story of once meeting Donnie B McLeod, the late BBC presenter, and finding out that there were so many of them with the same name on Lewis, that their middle name was just a letter so as to distinguish them.  Donnie A, Donnie B, Donnie C etc.
Extract from Wikipedia appears to confirm this.

Born	Donald B. MacLeod July 1, 1932 Stornoway, Isle of Lewis, Scotland
Died	September 6, 1984 (aged 52)
Occupation	Television presenter

[Dee Man]

On 08/09/2020 at 03:59, JamesP_81 said:

I used to have a huge list of cracking names from my call centre days (the things you would do to make it that little bit more bearable) but it's now long gone. Some that stick in my mind are:-

Norma Strain
Ben Kenobi
Dr Death
Mr Akinboabye
Ping Poo
William Anker
James Bond (phoning to insure an Aston Martin)
And Bruce Wayne, fairly innocuous on its own but trying to hold it together on the call when you're mate next to you comes out with 'to the bat cave!' takes another level of professionalism and good use of the mute button!

I'm sure it's been mentioned on here a few times about a guy called Wayne Bruce who's known to his mates as Manbat. 

[mishtergrolsch]

On 06/09/2020 at 06:29, Fullerene said:

In the Western Isles, the first son is named after the father's father and the second after the mother's father.  If they are both called Donald then a middle name is useful to tell them apart.

Does this not just defeat the purpose of naming people? Why not just give them different names in the first place?

[MONKMAN]

Cant remember if I’ve mentioned on here but a guy at my work who lost most of one of his ears in a car crash, gets called 18 month (ear and a half).

[Fullerene]

1 hour ago, mishtergrolsch said:

Does this not just defeat the purpose of naming people? Why not just give them different names in the first place?

Nicolae Ceausescu in Romania got his name because his father was blind drunk when he went to register the name and thought he was being asked for his own name.

Bizarrely this happened twice, so as well as his father, he had a younger brother with the same name.

[sophia]

On 06/09/2020 at 21:39, peasy23 said:

I had no idea this c**t stayed in Scotland tbh.
 

Helena darling, one cannot help but to remark upon the distinctive hair pigment of sibling number five

[ICTChris]

Does this not just defeat the purpose of naming people? Why not just give them different names in the first place?

My grandad was born just before the First World War in Sandwick on Shetland and was named Laurence. Apparently the thing in Shetland at the time was to name all kids the same, so there were loads of Laurence’s in Sandiwck at that time. To get round it everyone got a nickname, my grandads was Boon, I don’t think anyone, including him, knew where that came from but everyone called him it for the next 80 years.

[GordonD]

A woman in my office was known to everybody as Rena. Her daughter was my boss and told us that her mum's full name was Andrewrena - it was supposed to be Andrena, because her dad was Andrew, but he got pished on the way to register the birth and could only vaguely remember that it was supposed to be the feminine version of his own name.

[The Moonster]

Is taking your baby to get its name registered a reason for a piss up? An alarming number of stories with the same outcome here.

Edited September 9, 2020 by The Moonster

[hk blues]

6 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

Is taking your baby to get its name registered a reason for a piss up? An alarming number of stories with the same outcome here.

I don't think you take the baby...it's still too wee to sign or even say anything.

[The Moonster]

7 minutes ago, hk blues said:

I don't think you take the baby...it's still too wee to sign or even say anything.

Either way, it seems a weird thing to get blind drunk for.

[Markka]

Is taking your baby to get its name registered a reason for a piss up? An alarming number of stories with the same outcome here.

A work colleagues man went out and got steaming instead of joining her on the day they were to go in to register their baby.

She then decided to take the step of leaving the fathers name off the certificate

[Gordon EF]

22 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

Either way, it seems a weird thing to get blind drunk for.

Maybe it's a generational thing but aye, registering a birth certificate does not seem like it should be one of the occaisions in life where getting absolutely fucking blootered is required / expected / accpeted.