Work colleagues

[MONKMAN]

I’m due back at work next Thursday, boy I work with is the following Thursday. We all get Covid texts prior to returning, as a precaution, something that’s been ongoing the last few months. Usually receive and email with confirmation of testing and online forms to fill out the week before. The boy text me today wondering why he hadn’t received his emails or anything from work about his return. He didn’t believe me that he still had another two weeks off, and was convinced I was having him on. Bearing in mind we know our rotation and shift pattern effectively years in advance, how the hell can he not know when he’s due back to work.

[Bairnardo]

I’m due back at work next Thursday, boy I work with is the following Thursday. We all get Covid texts prior to returning, as a precaution, something that’s been ongoing the last few months. Usually receive and email with confirmation of testing and online forms to fill out the week before. The boy text me today wondering why he hadn’t received his emails or anything from work about his return. He didn’t believe me that he still had another two weeks off, and was convinced I was having him on. Bearing in mind we know our rotation and shift pattern effectively years in advance, how the hell can he not know when he’s due back to work.

Maybe hes out of sync cos his Mrs made him work an extra week??

[MONKMAN]

3 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

7 hours ago, MONKMAN said:

I’m due back at work next Thursday, boy I work with is the following Thursday. We all get Covid texts prior to returning, as a precaution, something that’s been ongoing the last few months. Usually receive and email with confirmation of testing and online forms to fill out the week before. The boy text me today wondering why he hadn’t received his emails or anything from work about his return. He didn’t believe me that he still had another two weeks off, and was convinced I was having him on. Bearing in mind we know our rotation and shift pattern effectively years in advance, how the hell can he not know when he’s due back to work.

Maybe hes out of sync cos his Mrs made him work an extra week??

It turned out to be the opposite actually. He was down manned a week early last trip, so that threw him off. I’m not sure how he wouldn’t just remember that though, unless he was just having a dig that I’m going back to work next week and he’s not. 

Edited July 18, 2020 by MONKMAN

[Raidernation]

I have the pleasure of writing up our school Covid protocol, obviously because I have great nursing qualifications

[Bairnardo]

I have the pleasure of writing up our school Covid protocol, obviously because I have great nursing qualifications

Just lift it right off the covid thread.

[Dee Man]

4 hours ago, Raidernation said:

I have the pleasure of writing up our school Covid protocol, obviously because I have great nursing qualifications

Assuming you're still in the US, just write DO WHAT THE f**k YOU WANT as that appears to be the approach everywhere else. 

[Mark Connolly]

Someone has just sent an email to the rest of our department asking whether we need new security photos taken before returning, since we will all now be wearing masks.

This person is not clever enough for this to have been a joke.

[Hillonearth]

8 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

Someone has just sent an email to the rest of our department asking whether we need new security photos taken before returning, since we will all now be wearing masks.

This person is not clever enough for this to have been a joke.

We had one that used to routinely leave his pass lying on his desk while wandering round the building - it was the work of 30 seconds to Pritt Stick a photo of David Hasselhoff to it.

We let the front desk in on it - he walked about with it for at least a couple of weeks before he finally noticed.

[mizfit]

Speaking of passes I’ve not seen mine in about 3 months.

Hopefully I’m not called to the office anytime soon.

[JamesP_81]

We had one that used to routinely leave his pass lying on his desk while wandering round the building - it was the work of 30 seconds to Pritt Stick a photo of David Hasselhoff to it.
We let the front desk in on it - he walked about with it for at least a couple of weeks before he finally noticed.

This has just reminded me of a woman I used to work with who done this exact thing with a David Hasselhoff picture only she done it to her own pass, presumably just to show how wacky she was. Would show it to everyone, security guards, receptionists, even the canteen ladies just like someone who plays a trick on you but then immediately explains what the trick is so you can then see how clever they've been, and tbh no-one could give 2 f*cks.

After a few months the boss told her to take it off because some director was coming on a site visit but really it was just because she was fed up hearing about it. This then turned into said colleague telling any new starts in the department about "that time the directors said I had to take David Hasselhoff's picture off my pass" for years afterwards.

[Derry Alli]

I've posted about the young, not too clever, labourer numerous times and he come up with another Belter today. "Mr Alli, do you know Y and X?" two guys I grew up with. 

Yes. 

"which of the two brothers is oldest?" 

They're not brothers but X is a year older than me and Y a year younger. 

"they are brothers!" 

No they're not. They have the same surname, they're not brothers. 

"they told me in the pub that they were brothers" 

They're not, they're taking the piss out you. 

"well, they must be twins then." 

[Jacksgranda]

On 18/07/2020 at 18:29, Raidernation said:

I have the pleasure of writing up our school Covid protocol, obviously because I have great nursing qualifications am the latest one in the door.

FTFY

[Hillonearth]

4 minutes ago, JamesP_81 said:

This has just reminded me of a woman I used to work with who done this exact thing with a David Hasselhoff picture only she done it to her own pass, presumably just to show how wacky she was. Would show it to everyone, security guards, receptionists, even the canteen ladies just like someone who plays a trick on you but then immediately explains what the trick is so you can then see how clever they've been, and tbh no-one could give 2 f*cks.

After a few months the boss told her to take it off because some director was coming on a site visit but really it was just because she was fed up hearing about it. This then turned into said colleague telling any new starts in the department about "that time the directors said I had to take David Hasselhoff's picture off my pass" for years afterwards.

Weird how folk gravitate towards the Hoff The photo we used wouldn't have even passed the most cursory examination so I was amazed it took him a while to cotton on....from memory he was doing a Kay's catalogue pose wearing a motorcycle jacket and a pair of budgie smugglers.

[D.A.F.C]

On early shift at my old work it was only me and some it guy working early so we would sometimes just use the call out feature on the phone that would activate every phone speaker in the building.
We stopped when we realised there was a team of cleaners who heard it all.

Attention attention beep

X is a bellend

Beep

[emoji38]

[JamesP_81]

Weird how folk gravitate towards the Hoff [emoji4] The photo we used wouldn't have even passed the most cursory examination so I was amazed it took him a while to cotton on....from memory he was doing a Kay's catalogue pose wearing a motorcycle jacket and a pair of budgie smugglers.

Classic hoff pose! I seem to recall she also used Ronnie Wood and Zelda from Terrahawks but think she stopped using them when people weren't obviously noticing that those pictures weren't her.

[Boghead ranter]

3 hours ago, mizfit said:

Speaking of passes I’ve not seen mine in about 3 months.

Hopefully I’m not called to the office anytime soon.

David Hasselhoff is cutting about your work with it.

[D.A.F.C]

Im learning now to not take things personally and realise some people just aren’t worth stressing about.

Today after over a years worth of problems and the denial of them from another department they’ve now come up with the solution of copying them in all emails about the problem. The supervisor for all his bravado and grandstanding is a complete and utter shitebag to these people and just lets them shit all over us. When we were told the solution I burst out laughing and just walked back to my area. Months ago I would have got quite upset and fumed about it for days. It’s actually impressive and amusing how highly paid individuals get away with acting like little kids so I just played along. Grown adults with decades of experience throwing stones at each other rather than fixing the issue, amazing.

The same people who came up with the last supposed fix now are unaware of the problem.

[Bairnardo]

Cant you tell them you have a backlog of dot audits to carry out on a football forum?

That will speed them up, since they will be worried you are tracking down their home addresses for your other hobbies

A good 40 minutes behind schedule in this meeting and fully 3 people have taken 2-3minutes each to essentially say "we're behind schedule"

[Bairnardo]

no because then they'd be able to go through my posts on this thread and cross reference my meeting based snark with when they were in a meeting with me

Your work seems to be filled with dangerous people.

[Guest bernardblack]

Back in the office today for the first time since lockdown.

It’s a serviced office so there are other companies in here.

Five minutes into the day and I had forgotten about the boy next door who loudly spouts nonsense football opinions to his colleague:

“YOU KNOW, I JUST DONT SEE SUAREZ AS A GOALSCORER....NEVER HAVE AND I NEVER WILL”

Needless to say, I will be working from home tomorrow.