nsr Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 5 hours ago, Busta Nut said: SHe's away on holiday now so I won't even see her. She's also in her 50's, not a stupid wee lassie as she sounds. I hope none of her relatives die while she's away. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 2 hours ago, nsr said: I hope none of her relatives die while she's away. You're a nicer person than me. I was sort of hoping they do. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 6 minutes ago, MixuFixit said: , Karen hairdo. Wid 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 SHe's away on holiday now so I won't even see her. She's also in her 50's, not a stupid wee lassie as she sounds.This seems an ideal opportunity to implement some of the above keyboard-related wheezes. I personally recommend rearranging the top line of keys to incorporate the word c**t somehow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 good plan 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Razor has been over to wish me a happy new year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 19 hours ago, Day of the Lords said: On 15/01/2020 at 10:40, Busta Nut said: SHe's away on holiday now so I won't even see her. She's also in her 50's, not a stupid wee lassie as she sounds. This seems an ideal opportunity to implement some of the above keyboard-related wheezes. I personally recommend rearranging the top line of keys to incorporate the word c**t somehow. Swapping the keys around to match her name, so instead of signing off say Joan, it goes: Kind regards c**t 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Set her computer to use a different keyboard layout. She'll never figure that one out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 SHe's away on holiday now so I won't even see her. She's also in her 50's, not a stupid wee lassie as she sounds.Get her address from HR. Break into her house and shite in every room. If she has any pets, kill them. Write “Busta was ere” with shite on her living room wall. See if she has any pictures of family, hunt them down and kill them. That’ll teach her. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aufc Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Get her address from HR. Break into her house and shite in every room. If she has any pets, kill them. Write “Busta was ere” with shite on her living room wall. See if she has any pictures of family, hunt them down and kill them. That’ll teach her. Reminded me of these guys from chewin the fat 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 6 hours ago, nsr said: Set her computer to use a different keyboard layout. She'll never figure that one out. Can you do that letter by letter, so if she typed Joan as above it would print c**t? Or do you have to change the whole layout, like to a Spanish set up? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 59 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Can you do that letter by letter, so if she typed Joan as above it would print c**t? Or do you have to change the whole layout, like to a Spanish set up? *Dr evil laugh 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 My workshy colleague complained yesterday about his on-call shifts. We all do a week of on call but it turns out that his week falls when we have fewer staff on in the evenings so he is getting called out more. It is a genuine issue, someone should probably volunteer to swap some shifts with him or change it so the rota is more balanced. I wonder if I'll put my hand up to do it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KnightswoodBear Posted January 17, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted January 17, 2020 Nipped in to the lavvies for my post coffee jobby and just as I was about to grace the seat with my glorious behind I noticed what really could only be spunk on it. People are animals. For clarification, the spunk was on the seat, not my arse. 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Nipped in to the lavvies for my post coffee jobby and just as I was about to grace the seat with my glorious behind I noticed what really could only be spunk on it. People are animals. For clarification, the spunk was on the seat, not my arse. Burst out laughing on the train when I read that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Nipped in to the lavvies for my post coffee jobby and just as I was about to grace the seat with my glorious behind I noticed what really could only be spunk on it. People are animals. For clarification, the spunk was on the seat, not my arse. I’ll hazard that semen was deposited by a big fückin’ spider that lives above the ceiling tiles.....the rare Scottish wanking spider (arachno.onanismus.scotii) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 How do people manage to w**k in manky public lavvies? Closest I've managed was for a fertility test at the old Stirling Royal, and even that required help from the missus.(Reasonably Normal, by the way. That's how they phrased it) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 7 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: How do people manage to w**k in manky public lavvies? Closest I've managed was for a fertility test at the old Stirling Royal, and even that required help from the missus. It was only when folk complained that he realised he should have gone into one of the cubicles. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thistle_do_nicely Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) There's been something of an inquest recently, as seemingly someone has been leaving puddles of piss in the gents bathroom regularly. It's all been rather bizarre having meetings along the lines of "leave the fucking toilet in a clean state, give it a quick check before you go". Should add I'm about 99% certain it isn't me (toilet aim is pretty solid and I'm good at remembering to flush, not exactly something I ever thought I'd type out but here we are) but there was a weird kinda nagging doubt of "f**k am I managing to do it somehow but not even realising?", up until we had a meeting and someone stated there was pretty much a puddle of pish on the toilet floor which sounds borderline deliberate. Possibility of a disgruntled employee is there too but tbh I reckon it'll just be laziness. Heard a rumour the culprit had managed to get it on a doorhandle too one time which... yeah. Couldn't really figure that one out, as it presumably meant someone must also somehow ended up with pishy hands when operating the toilet. Did once have to use the disabled toilet as the gents was being cleaned one time and there was what can only be described as blackish brown toxic sludge of a skidmark some clatty fucker had left in the pan that was larger than my average shite. Office toilets: not even once. Edited January 17, 2020 by Thistle_do_nicely 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 11 minutes ago, Thistle_do_nicely said: There's been something of an inquest recently, as seemingly someone has been leaving puddles of piss in the gents bathroom regularly. It's all been rather bizarre having meetings along the lines of "leave the fucking toilet in a clean state, give it a quick check before you go". Should add I'm about 99% certain it isn't me (toilet aim is pretty solid and I'm good at remembering to flush, not exactly something I ever thought I'd type out but here we are) but there was a weird kinda nagging doubt of "f**k am I managing to do it somehow but not even realising?", up until we had a meeting and someone stated there was pretty much a puddle of pish on the toilet floor which sounds borderline deliberate. Possibility of a disgruntled employee is there too but tbh I reckon it'll just be laziness. Heard a rumour someone had managed to get it on a doorhandle too which... yeah. Couldn't really figure that one out, as it presumably meant someone must also have had pishy hands when operating the toilet. Did once have to use the disabled toilet as the gents was being cleaned one time and there was what can only be described as blackish brown toxic sludge of a skidmark some clatty fucker had left in the pan that was larger than my average shite. Office toilets: not even once. @Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth MO IMO. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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