Hampden Diehard Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 A guy in my office was telling me he washes his car every Saturday morning, he also has a F1 racing car as his monitor screensaver, a very annoying man! Golfers. FFS, what a tedious mob. They get so excited when they start talking about the 15th dogleg at Kilbirnie or whatever. They tend to have a liking for cars too. The two most boring subjects imaginable. Their chatter stuns everyone else into silence. An honourable mention for gamblers. So Shrewsbury did you for £400 at the weekend? Good. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
microdave Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Apparently saying I'd rather die of aids than watch the old firm match can upset some work colleagues. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 1 hour ago, Hampden Diehard said: Golfers. FFS, what a tedious mob. They get so excited when they start talking about the 15th dogleg at Kilbirnie or whatever. They tend to have a liking for cars too. The two most boring subjects imaginable. Their chatter stuns everyone else into silence. How about real ale drinkers? Viz runs the occasional strip which has them down to a T, featuring some bearded twat going on about a pint of Speckled Mushroom he had in 1997, in a village pub in Wiltshire run by a guy named Norman... Just drink the stuff and keep quiet. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlandcowden Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 33 minutes ago, MixuFixit said: Real Ale is the hill I am willing to die on. just do it quietly then, theres a good chap 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HenryHill Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 3 hours ago, microdave said: Apparently saying I'd rather die of aids than watch the old firm match can upset some work colleagues. They obviously really like you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 3 hours ago, microdave said: Apparently saying I'd rather die of aids than watch the old firm match can upset some work colleagues. That's rather touching that your work colleagues don't want you to die from a horrible illness, imho. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
microdave Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 That's rather touching that your work colleagues don't want you to die from a horrible illness, imho.Tbh I think some might rather I die than disrespect their bigotry! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post GordonD Posted May 11, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 11, 2019 13 hours ago, highlandcowden said: just do it quietly then, theres a good chap Yes, exactly. My problem isn't with the consumption of the ale, just the banging on about it afterwards. To be fair though, lengthy discussion of any topic in which you don't have an interest is going to be annoying. If you must do it, don't do it in public. I once stayed in a hotel which happened to be hosting a chess tournament, and all the players would gather in the reception area and talk about epic games they'd won in the past. I hate chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. 30 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishBhoy Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 I worked with a guy from Kilwinning who had never heard of a leap year. He was in his mid 40s. He genuinely thought we were winding him up when we said there was an extra day every 4 years. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 3 hours ago, IrishBhoy said: I worked with a guy from Kilwinning who had never heard of a leap year. He was in his mid 40s. He genuinely thought we were winding him up when we said there was an extra day every 4 years. That might be the reason. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M0rtonfc Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 I worked with a guy from Kilwinning who had never heard of a leap year. He was in his mid 40s. He genuinely thought we were winding him up when we said there was an extra day every 4 years. [emoji23] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 Recently discovered that work’s resident fantasist is a level 7 google reviewer. He specialises in budget shops and fast food outlets (although he has reviewed a car park too). Some of the reviews are accompanied by photos, in case you wondered what the veg racks in Aldi look like. Apparently some of the stock in poundstretcher is “low quality”. He apparently answered over 7000 questions too. A colleague looked them up and apparently they mostly say “not sure” or “you should phone up”. It may be some sort of post modern Dave Gorman style comedy project or he could be a fucking lunatic. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 Workplace fantasists are outstanding value. Ours (who we call Pablo) regales us with tales of drug binges and dealings with sawn-off shotguns. He also buys petrol lawn mowers for 50p a chuck, takes them home, (despite only having a push-bike) replaces a spark-plug, gives them a wipe down and boom, folk are queuing up to slap £150 on the table to secure one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 Petrol lawn mowers for 50p? Didn't happen 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 11 hours ago, DA Baracus said: Petrol lawn mowers for 50p? Didn't happen He reckons he goes to auctions on his days off and buys the stuff that is unsold so they can clear the space He came out with some shite the other day about a canoe, (blue-chip purchase at £1) that in his own words returned him £250 smackers: Such a mark up was obvious with Newark being fucking miles from the coast and demand for watersport goods being off the scale. He did go a bit quiet when I asked him how the f**k he got it home on his bike though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 11 hours ago, MixuFixit said: I bet the first part is true and he has 15 broken lawnmowers in his shed He lives in a shared house with no garden of note, but the bloke who lives in the room underneath is running a highly profitable crystal-meth business 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 1 hour ago, LincolnHearts said: He reckons he goes to auctions on his days off and buys the stuff that is unsold so they can clear the space He came out with some shite the other day about a canoe, (blue-chip purchase at £1) that in his own words returned him £250 smackers: Such a mark up was obvious with Newark being fucking miles from the coast and demand for watersport goods being off the scale. He did go a bit quiet when I asked him how the f**k he got it home on his bike though. You wonder what these fantasists get out of such obvious nonsense. They surely don't expect folk to believe it all? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 1 minute ago, DA Baracus said: You wonder what these fantasists get out of such obvious nonsense. They surely don't expect folk to believe it all? In one of his drug tales, (where he was going to buy a £15 bit of dope) he went into the house and he was invited to ‘help himself’ to the biggest pile of cocaine you’ve ever seen’ on the table. His arm gestures would suggest that the pile of cocaine was so big, that Mr Escobar in his heyday would have been involved and a 7 figure street-value amount of cocaine was there. Cherry on the cake was when he was told there was a couple of complimentary prostitutes on offer in the next room. I had a real respect for him at the point where he said he’d never cheat on his girlfriend 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 17 hours ago, LincolnHearts said: Workplace fantasists are outstanding value. Ours (who we call Pablo) regales us with tales of drug binges and dealings with sawn-off shotguns. He also buys petrol lawn mowers for 50p a chuck, takes them home, (despite only having a push-bike) replaces a spark-plug, gives them a wipe down and boom, folk are queuing up to slap £150 on the table to secure one. Ours had a similar racket with Aldi toy carrots that he was selling on ebay for £200. Aldi had hundreds of them in each store for a couple of quid and it was quite easy to check the ebay story. Your guy sounds much harder. Ours just batters wrong uns occasionally. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajwffc Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 He lives in a shared house with no garden of note, but the bloke who lives in the room underneath is running a highly profitable crystal-meth business [emoji38]Probably his biggest customer (if true) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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