GordonD Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 1 hour ago, G_Man1985 said: Oh my. A physical fight between a colleague and manager today. Was very nice to watch Two ladies may I add. No pictures or videos were taken Happy to help. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 1 hour ago, Inanimate Carbon Rod said: People who win £100 million and give it the ‘it wont change me and ill keep working at morrisons’ need their fucking heads examined. If i won that kinda money id quit in the most extravagant way possible, current plan includes - id bribe essential staff to quit on the spot with a decent wedge, then arrange for foo fighters to turn up on a flat bed in the office car park playing ‘my hero’ as I stroll out and give new cars to the people I like in the office, reckon the whole thing would cost me about 4/5million and be entirely worth it. Anyway it’d happen something like that. I like the sound of that. Only change I would make would be substituting the Foo Fighters for the Dead Kennedy's playing this ... It's only 90 seconds long so if they're on an hourly rate, then it should be quite reasonable. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 1 hour ago, LondonHMFC said: If I won a stupid amount I would give a cheque to everybody in the office. Some would receive no more than a fiver, others would have a few hundred thousand. The rest would be given to Milky Gem. This would be my way to go as well. I'd also do it to everybody in my street. There's one woman who keeps going around handing stuff to folk saying shite like "it's no use to me anymore, you can have it" and out of not causing a scene, folk take her pish. Everybody in my street would get £10k. Except her, she'd get £10, with a note saying "because you need it more than me" attached. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 I like the sound of that. Only change I would make would be substituting the Foo Fighters for the Dead Kennedy's playing this ... It's only 90 seconds long so if they're on an hourly rate, then it should be quite reasonable. My other idea was quite cheesy, id need a couple weeks worth of dance lessons, hire bruno mars, some backing dancers and we all dance into head office to uptown funk and slap the resignation letter on the bosses desk and dance out. I like dancing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BallochSonsFan Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 Pie and Bovril needs to see what Milky Gem looks like. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 (edited) On 12/04/2019 at 21:30, Silvio said: A woman I (used to) manage was getting paid 5k more than me and spent every day telling me how she didn't have to work. To sit and deal with that knowing she's doing f**k all was pretty difficult. She was late 50s, early 60s, and had a banking pension as well as her salary. I'm mid 30s and she was clearly pissed off she was getting managed by me. Anyway, she threatened to resign a few times and I just ignored it. She then offered her resignation which I accepted and immediately processed. She couldn't believe I called her bluff. I've just recruited her replacement who is getting substantially less than her. Got notified today that I had some post in the mail room. Went down to collect and it was a Happy Easter card to the whole team from the former employee. Edited April 24, 2019 by Silvio 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 2 hours ago, GordonD said: Happy to help. You’ve never been to a Tesco in Dundee have you, Gordon? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 3 hours ago, LondonHMFC said: If I won a stupid amount I would give a cheque to everybody in the office. Some would receive no more than a fiver, others would have a few hundred thousand. The rest would be given to Milky Gem. Brilliant I'd make sure the first cheque opened was a biggie, just to see the pain etched on the face of someone receiving their cheque for 5 GBP. Love Milky Gem by the way 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 15 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: You’ve never been to a Tesco in Dundee have you, Gordon? Well, that's two reasons not to right away. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishBhoy Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 18 hours ago, Bairnardo said: These types of shoe horn moves happen fairly frequently and are always a source of resentment in this industry. That one such totally unqualified person would start their tenure by gloating about not needing a job that someone like me would be looking at as their next natural step having been learning my trade since leaving school would hose me right off. I doubt its to do with gender and more to do with attitude tbh. When I was younger and working in heavy engineering as a fitter we had a female apprentice working along side us who quite literally couldn’t physically do any of the work we were doing. I don’t think she had to get her overalls cleaned in 4 years. When her time was out she instantly became a project manager to get her off the shop floor and walked straight into a 50k job. The last I heard she had got a contract taken off the company because she had forgotten to order a substantial amount of material for a job a couple of days before it was due to start. She also got taken to the company awards doo in London and presented with Apprentice of the Year, presumably so the management could show off how ‘equal opportunities’ they were. Im sure there would be some women out there who could have done this job but this particular woman couldn’t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 I'd be out the door before the money was even in my account. Not that I don't like my job, but no way would I be working a second longer than I have to if I could afford not to. At a previous place of work a colleague used to regularly tell me of his plan for if he won the lottery. He absolutely detested the boss and the pinnacle of his plan was to do a big jobby on the boss's desk before he fucked off. There was also talk of a baseball bat being used on him but when I mentioned he'd be in the jail and wouldn't get to enjoy his money he was about greeting. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 I'd be out the door before the money was even in my account. Not that I don't like my job, but no way would I be working a second longer than I have to if I could afford not to. At a previous place of work a colleague used to regularly tell me of his plan for if he won the lottery. He absolutely detested the boss and the pinnacle of his plan was to do a big jobby on the boss's desk before he fucked off. There was also talk of a baseball bat being used on him but when I mentioned he'd be in the jail and wouldn't get to enjoy his money he was about greeting. I love it when folk trot out the "Wouldnt you be bored" patter.Absolute fucking drones. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 6 hours ago, IrishBhoy said: When I was younger and working in heavy engineering as a fitter we had a female apprentice working along side us who quite literally couldn’t physically do any of the work we were doing. I don’t think she had to get her overalls cleaned in 4 years. When her time was out she instantly became a project manager to get her off the shop floor and walked straight into a 50k job. The last I heard she had got a contract taken off the company because she had forgotten to order a substantial amount of material for a job a couple of days before it was due to start. She also got taken to the company awards doo in London and presented with Apprentice of the Year, presumably so the management could show off how ‘equal opportunities’ they were. Im sure there would be some women out there who could have done this job but this particular woman couldn’t. Chairman's daughter? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 I love it when folk trot out the "Wouldnt you be bored" patter.Absolute fucking drones. I would be bored as f**k swanning round the Caribbean & South Pacific, to be fair though, I would work my notice out of respect for my colleagues but I would be an utterly objectionable arsehole pointing out the ridiculous edicts throughout. I do like the Bruno Mars option though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 I'd be right on the phone to Pirlo asking how much it would cost to get him out of retirement to play alongside Devine and Hippo next season. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 If I became the sudden recipient of wealth off the radar I'd stay at work and see how long I could get away with doing sod all. That is to say, I would do so more blatantly than I do right now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 When walking into a meeting, make sure you can see everybody that's there before announcing your presence with a breezy "Alright troops - hail Satan!" Which I did earlier this morning when I walked into a room expecting only a few folk I know well, only to be confronted by a couple of unexpected high heid yins who hadn't immediately been in my line of sight as I walked in... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 If I won the lottery I would just stop turning up at work and not answer when they ask where I am. Place has done f**k all for me so I’d be doing the same back. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 6 minutes ago, Hillonearth said: When walking into a meeting, make sure you can see everybody that's there before announcing your presence with a breezy "Alright troops - hail Satan!" Which I did earlier this morning when I walked into a room expecting only a few folk I know well, only to be confronted by a couple of unexpected high heid yins who hadn't immediately been in my line of sight as I walked in... Unusual ways to resign for this pish. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MONKMAN Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 I'd probably go on the sick for as long as it takes them to realise I would not be returning, taking as much money from them as possible before being sacked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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