D.A.F.C Posted December 19, 2018 Share Posted December 19, 2018 Whistling b*****ds 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason King Posted December 19, 2018 Share Posted December 19, 2018 (edited) These millenials really give out far too much information - a discussion in an open plan office around the man who shagged you senseless at the weekend isnt really appropriate. Amusingly though he seems to have ghosted her whilst she is upset as for her it was the start of something special. You are a slapper he picked up in a nightclub and who shagged him after a couple of Camparis and a grope of tits/cock infront of several hundred people, I cant think why it hasnt led to a wedding!!! Anyway as I'm classing them both as slappers I hope there is a nonfatal STD doing the rounds. Might shut her up. Edited December 19, 2018 by Jason King 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted December 19, 2018 Share Posted December 19, 2018 9 minutes ago, Jason King said: These millenials really give out far too much information - a discussion in an open plan office around the man who shagged you senseless at the weekend isnt really appropriate. Amusingly though he seems to have ghosted her whilst she is upset as for her it was the start of something special. You are a slapper he picked up in a nightclub and who shagged him after a couple of Camparis and a grope of tits/cock infront of several hundred people, I cant think why it hasnt led to a wedding!!! Anyway as I'm classing them both as slappers I hope there is a nonfatal STD doing the rounds. Might shut her up. Bet you're looking forward to the Christmas party now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 19, 2018 Share Posted December 19, 2018 I once worked in the same office as this really creepy guy who was heavily into porn. Not that there's anything wrong with that in itself but there's a time and place for it, and one morning he phoned his mate and described in graphic detail the video he'd watched the night before. Meanwhile the middle-aged woman sitting across the desk had to sit and listen to this. She got her own back a few weeks later after the office Christmas party. Her husband came to pick her up at the end and the creep asked for a lift because they lived in roughly the same direction. She refused point blank and made her husband drive away, leaving the creep to wait in the rain for a taxi - though he was lucky to avoid a lot worse as when the husband asked why they weren't giving him a lift and the woman explained who it was, he was all for turning back and giving the guy a kicking. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted December 19, 2018 Share Posted December 19, 2018 I'm on site again. Everyone else in the team has gone out for lunch together and I am sitting in the midst of a sea of empty desks, wasting my employer's valuable time on P&B. Blissful. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oooooft Posted December 19, 2018 Share Posted December 19, 2018 6 hours ago, Jason King said: These millenials really give out far too much information - a discussion in an open plan office around the man who shagged you senseless at the weekend isnt really appropriate. Amusingly though he seems to have ghosted her whilst she is upset as for her it was the start of something special. You are a slapper he picked up in a nightclub and who shagged him after a couple of Camparis and a grope of tits/cock infront of several hundred people, I cant think why it hasnt led to a wedding!!! Anyway as I'm classing them both as slappers I hope there is a nonfatal STD doing the rounds. Might shut her up. Lol. Not what I'd expect from that username /avatar combo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 Lying bed with the missus last night and my phone goes at 22:03. It's work. The dickhead I work with was calling up to complain that the person who was supposed to start at 10 had called him up, just before ten, to say he was going to be a bit late as there was an accident on the road at Stamford Hill and he was stick in traffic. "And?" "Well if he was going to be late he should have called before now" "Aye alright then." Just hung up on him. Stamford Hill is, literally, five minute's drive from work. If he's stuck in traffic there he doesn't know he's going to be late until five minutes before work. What a clyping b*****d. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 Fire him. The guy who phoned you I mean. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 fire them both jusf to be sure theres no repeat 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 4 hours ago, AsimButtHitsASix said: Lying bed with the missus last night and my phone goes at 22:03. It's work. The dickhead I work with was calling up to complain that the person who was supposed to start at 10 had called him up, just before ten, to say he was going to be a bit late as there was an accident on the road at Stamford Hill and he was stick in traffic. "And?" "Well if he was going to be late he should have called before now" "Aye alright then." Just hung up on him. Stamford Hill is, literally, five minute's drive from work. If he's stuck in traffic there he doesn't know he's going to be late until five minutes before work. What a clyping b*****d. A part of my job means I need to be contactable at all times in case of emergencies. Last week my phone went off at 5:30am, in a sleepy panic I fell out of bed and answered the phone, only for some Greek p***k to tell me that he's sent me an email and he'd like a response that day. I got to work and he'd sent me a second "Reminder" email. My next google search was "available hitmen in Greece". Some c***s will just do anything to seem important. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 On 12/19/2018 at 11:50, GordonD said: I once worked in the same office as this really creepy guy who was heavily into porn. Not that there's anything wrong with that in itself but there's a time and place for it, and one morning he phoned his mate and described in graphic detail the video he'd watched the night before. Meanwhile the middle-aged woman sitting across the desk had to sit and listen to this. She got her own back a few weeks later after the office Christmas party. Her husband came to pick her up at the end and the creep asked for a lift because they lived in roughly the same direction. She refused point blank and made her husband drive away, leaving the creep to wait in the rain for a taxi - though he was lucky to avoid a lot worse as when the husband asked why they weren't giving him a lift and the woman explained who it was, he was all for turning back and giving the guy a kicking. she should have given the bloke a lift and got her husband to pull over on the way home, put the child locks on the doors and then given her old man a lengthy and extravagant blow job, leaving the bloke cringing on the back seat occasionally, friends have confessed that although they may be earnest and experienced porn "users" they feel extremely awkward when confronted with "real world" carnality, feeling inadequate and somewhat ashamed... -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 Not really a work-related story but somehow an overnight security company got hold of our home phone number, thinking it belonged to one of their call-out staff. We'd get random phone calls at 2 or 3am informing us that someone had been seen entering some site or other. Eventually got them to realise I wasn't Batman and wasn't going to come and sort it out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 8 minutes ago, Herman Hessian said: she should have given the bloke a lift and got her husband to pull over on the way home, put the child locks on the doors and then given her old man a lengthy and extravagant blow job, leaving the bloke cringing on the back seat occasionally, friends have confessed that although they may be earnest and experienced porn "users" they feel extremely awkward when confronted with "real world" carnality, feeling inadequate and somewhat ashamed... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 12 minutes ago, Herman Hessian said: she should have given the bloke a lift and got her husband to pull over on the way home, put the child locks on the doors and then given her old man a lengthy and extravagant blow job, leaving the bloke cringing on the back seat occasionally, friends have confessed that although they may be earnest and experienced porn "users" they feel extremely awkward when confronted with "real world" carnality, feeling inadequate and somewhat ashamed... Remind me to never get a lift home from you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 22 minutes ago, MixuFixit said: Always click no to the read receipt prompt for those fuds. Never click Yes to anyones read receipts 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UsedToGoToCentralPark Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 Never click Yes to anyones read receiptsAnd make sure to write the reply but save as draft. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverton End Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 32 minutes ago, Herman Hessian said: she should have given the bloke a lift and got her husband to pull over on the way home, put the child locks on the doors and then given her old man a lengthy and extravagant blow job, leaving the bloke cringing on the back seat occasionally, friends have confessed that although they may be earnest and experienced porn "users" they feel extremely awkward when confronted with "real world" carnality, feeling inadequate and somewhat ashamed... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason King Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 One of them still has Jingle Bells as their ringtone. Three times it went off this morning, this is a grown adult with Jingle Bells as their ringtone the following year. I despair of ScotGov recruitment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Promotions for anyone with vibrate or silent.Thank you 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Swordfishtrombone Posted January 4, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 4, 2019 Not someone I work with but my mate was telling me about a king bullshitter at his work. His stories include seeing a cow commit suicide by jumping off the edge of a cliff because midges were annoying it. Accidently hacking into the Pentagon when he was trying to put his overtime into the works computer. Being outside the work, whistling and having an 8ft Buzzard land on his arm. Nearly being carried off by an Eagle when he was up the hills because he was wearing a lambswool jumper and the Eagle mistook him for a lamb. Going to a top end hooker who told him not pay because it was the best ride of her life. 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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