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We have a couple of clients visiting from The Hague today. Just before they left, the boss announced that they had brought us some "treats from the Netherlands". You can imagine our excitement at such a pronouncement. Said treats turned out to be traditional Christmas-themed biscuits and sweets.

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39 minutes ago, nsr said:

We have a couple of clients visiting from The Hague today. Just before they left, the boss announced that they had brought us some "treats from the Netherlands". You can imagine our excitement at such a pronouncement. Said treats turned out to be traditional Christmas-themed biscuits and sweets.

I look forward to your posts after you have had one of these "biscuits".

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2 minutes ago, Archie McSquackle said:

My wife is on her way back from a work trip to the Netherlands. Not sure if she's bringing me back any treats but she's sent me a text to say she's been 'randomly' selected to have her luggage searched when the plane lands.

Tell her to hide the stash in the bogs. Never heard of getting warned before.

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7 hours ago, Mr Pikey said:

Are you allowed to lawfully kill the one lazy b*****d in work that doesn't fill the kettle up and boil it when they empty it.  Heads gone moment tbh.

Why would you fill and boil a kettle if you dont know if it's going to be used? 

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Tell her to hide the stash in the bogs. Never heard of getting warned before.
They made her put her baggage in the hold. I think it was to warn her she'd be slightly delayed and not to be alarmed when her bag didn't appear. Don't know if she told them she was visiting a pharmaceutical company in the Netherlands!
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On the subject of tea and coffee at work, there's something trivial that really annoys me - when someone opens a new pint of milk, they leave the seal thing on the bunker rather than just put it in the bin.

 

 

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27 minutes ago, Archie McSquackle said:
42 minutes ago, welshbairn said:
Tell her to hide the stash in the bogs. Never heard of getting warned before.

They made her put her baggage in the hold. I think it was to warn her she'd be slightly delayed and not to be alarmed when her bag didn't appear. Don't know if she told them she was visiting a pharmaceutical company in the Netherlands!

They’ll be in for a shock when they pull a Mambo Rabbit XL out of her case.

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Owing to illness I had to cover the delivery of a presentation to a group of customers yesterday - took the file off the network and hey ho off we go, only to realise that the person who normally delivers it hasnt updated it in over 2 years and its still mentioning figures from October 2016. Luckily I know the information and could update as I was going along but it made me look like a dick infront of people we rely on for employment.

Queried this morning why it was out of date and was told "I'm only here to deliver...." Naw, naw your not - if we ask you to deliver information to customers on a regular basis we expect you to be giving out the most up to date and accurate information.

So a big up to the gimps who follow the rule book exactly and who lack any sort of iniative to be able to do anything that isnt strictly defined as being their responsibility in their job description. Complete bawsacks who can only work within strictly defined paramaters and who if they work to 5:03pm you know are claming for that additional 3 minutes.

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13 hours ago, philpy said:

On the subject of tea and coffee at work, there's something trivial that really annoys me - when someone opens a new pint of milk, they leave the seal thing on the bunker rather than just put it in the bin.

Where the hell do you work? A war zone? A golf course? 

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Where I work we bill clients according to units. Every 6 minutes is a unit, so 10 units per hour. We round everything up, however, so if I do 30 seconds on a client file that counts as a unit and gets recorded as 6 minutes. However, when we actually bill the clients, we only bill whole hours. So I have done 6 minutes of work, I bill an hour. 66 minutes of work = two hours.

To meet my target, I have to do 55 units every day. Officially that's 5 and a half hours of billable work. But technically I could complete that in 55 seconds.

Edited by Margaret Thatcher
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30 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Where the hell do you work? A war zone? A golf course? 

What would you call it? A counter? Get that into the sea along with all the other Americanisms that are creeping into our culture.

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