ah-dee Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 do your coughing at her desk. i bet the cow will be off for a few days resulting in a break from the bint 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 20 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: Kudos Mathematics. You had me going until the very last line. I assume you're Fred? Thanks. First time I read it, I was clueless until the last line too. When I seen this thread I was praying that no one had posted it before. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bernardblack Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 To add to this, I have a cold at the moment with a pretty chesty cough, rather than splutter all over my desk/colleagues, I try to step out the office to cough/sneeze in relative peace when a particularly bad coughing fit comes on (I don't make any flamboyant noises whilst doing this, I really don't want the attention). When I come back in the office there is one wee cow that sits at the far end who has been shouting "that's some leg work yer puttin' in there" or similar pish, insinuating that I'm acting this out in preparation of a day off. If she says it once more the only leg work I'll be doing is roundhouse kicking her fucking head off her shoulders.Similar to this, people who see their sick days as extra holiday. Last time I was off sick was a couple of years ago due to what can only be described as volcanic food poisoning 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 To add to this, I have a cold at the moment with a pretty chesty cough, rather than splutter all over my desk/colleagues, I try to step out the office to cough/sneeze in relative peace when a particularly bad coughing fit comes on (I don't make any flamboyant noises whilst doing this, I really don't want the attention). When I come back in the office there is one wee cow that sits at the far end who has been shouting "that's some leg work yer puttin' in there" or similar pish, insinuating that I'm acting this out in preparation of a day off. If she says it once more the only leg work I'll be doing is roundhouse kicking her fucking head off her shoulders.ROADHOUSE 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 On 10/9/2018 at 12:10, Edmond Dantès said: There's a lad at my work who does this, he loves himself though and uses that bleaching stuff for his teeth. He also played for Rangers (RIP). Do you enjoy working for Gordon? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 (edited) In New Zealand you're automatically entitled to 5 paid sick days after working with the same employer for 6 months. Me and a mate took all 5 of our days off within about 3 weeks of getting them so that we could go drinking/ ski-ing. Didn't give a f**k. Employers will shaft for you 40+ hours a week for literally decades; they should be shafted in return at every possible opportunity. Edited October 10, 2018 by Barry Ferguson's Hat 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 There are ten people in the team I work in, four have now had heart attacks or heart scares, one has developed diabetes in the last year and another has been off sick with mysterious symptoms several times, is undergoing lots of tests etc. Any P&Bers had a work colleague die on the job? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 11 minutes ago, ICTChris said: Any P&Bers had a work colleague die on the job? No but I've had cramp a few times. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 18 minutes ago, ICTChris said: There are ten people in the team I work in, four have now had heart attacks or heart scares, one has developed diabetes in the last year and another has been off sick with mysterious symptoms several times, is undergoing lots of tests etc. Any P&Bers had a work colleague die on the job? An ex colleague of mine didn't die on the job, but was proud of the fact that he had a heart attack whilst on the job, something his wife always got embarrassed about when he retold the story. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 6 minutes ago, Zen Archer said: An ex colleague of mine didn't die on the job, but was proud of the fact that he had a heart attack whilst on the job, something his wife always got embarrassed about when he retold the story. Was that when he got to the bit where the paramedic phoned her to break the news? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 I passed out after finishing the job once. Scared the shit out of my wife. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 I work in a hospital but the only time anyone's died while I've been on shift was a nurse who had a heart attack. Bit ironic I guess. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kennboy1978 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 I work in a hospital but the only time anyone's died while I've been on shift was a nurse who had a heart attack. Bit ironic I guess.Were you done for manslaughter or murder with diminished responsibility? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Funnily (well... wrong choice of words) I'm on the non-clinical side but it's my job to patch folk through to the ambulance if the wards require it and there's an emergency number they're supposed to dial which will cut everyone else off so they have a clear line but the muppets on the word didn't use this number and just called the same line patients use and had to wait nearly a minute for me to answer. There was a report about it and I had to have interviews with trust management to see if I could have done better and whether I was, in any way, at fault for the death. I wasn't. Also turned out the heart attack was so massive he could have had it in an emergency room and still woulda croaked. Poor fella. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSP Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 17 hours ago, bernardblack said: Similar to this, people who see their sick days as extra holiday. Last time I was off sick was a couple of years ago due to what can only be described as volcanic food poisoning In Oz they see sick days as extra holiday, and are quite open about it. Had a workplace where everyone (including managers) was involved in a discussion about how many sick days for the year they had left, and how they were going to have to squeeze them in soon. Suppose it's better than having to listen to some shite excuse like my dog has chronic diarrhoea or I've got the painters in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
54_and_counting Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 17 hours ago, bernardblack said: Similar to this, people who see their sick days as extra holiday. Last time I was off sick was a couple of years ago due to what can only be described as volcanic food poisoning Bit of luck these c***s take their sick leave come back to work and break both legs the next week resulting in nae money for god knows how long Ive had a fortnight off on the sick in the last ten years due to dislocating my elbow, i knew a worker who took a few more of his tablets than he should do because it makes him drowsy etc, every friday morning c**t done it and got the weekend off on the sick 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 5 hours ago, ICTChris said: There are ten people in the team I work in, four have now had heart attacks or heart scares, one has developed diabetes in the last year and another has been off sick with mysterious symptoms several times, is undergoing lots of tests etc. Any P&Bers had a work colleague die on the job? Not at their desk. But a colleague did die some years ago. It was very sad as she was also a friend and hadn't even turned thirty. A year before she died, they introduced a "death in service" scheme and distributed forms to everyone in the company. You had to fill it in to say who you wanted to benefit if you were to die. She thought that you literally had to drop dead at your desk - and given the unlikelihood of that happening - jokingly put the name of her rabbit on the form. Thankfully, someone set her straight before the form was submitted. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantis Toboggan Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Started my first full time job last month and work with 2 others in the IT bit. One guy started a couple weeks after me and is roughly the same age. We get on fine, just mostly keep to ourselves most of the day which suits me. The other guy is older but been there for 6 years and was fine for the first couple weeks but f**k there’s only so much you can take of chat about Happy Hardcore music, DJ’ing, decks nd drug chat. Same stuff all the time so I’ve just started to zone out, now get the ‘what’s wrong with you?’ chat when I don’t respond. Getting on my tits 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Started my first full time job last month and work with 2 others in the IT bit. One guy started a couple weeks after me and is roughly the same age. We get on fine, just mostly keep to ourselves most of the day which suits me. The other guy is older but been there for 6 years and was fine for the first couple weeks but f**k there’s only so much you can take of chat about Happy Hardcore music, DJ’ing, decks nd drug chat. Same stuff all the time so I’ve just started to zone out, now get the ‘what’s wrong with you?’ chat when I don’t respond. Getting on my tits Welcome to the real world! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 10 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said: I passed out after finishing the job once. Scared the shit out of my wife. There has to be a joke in there somewhere... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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