D.A.F.C Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 Meggied? Dafuq? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzz Killington Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 Some of my colleagues have been complaining about electric shocks from the metal filing cabinets. I work with idiots. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thistle_do_nicely Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 On 2/24/2018 at 14:57, Melanius Mullarkey said: Found out yesterday that according to some made up shite, I’m actually doing 18% more work than expected. The real key now is to work out a method of doing 17% less work than you're currently doing. You'll still be 1% above expected performance. Unless of course they reassess your targets from, say, April and your current performance level is now the baseline. Feel for you if this is the case. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 On 2/24/2018 at 14:57, Melanius Mullarkey said: Found out yesterday that according to some made up shite, I’m actually doing 18% more work than expected. Expected level of work: 0% Actual level of work: 18% 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torpar Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 Quite often when I go for my afternoon toilet visit, I will find a copy of the Toronto Star (broadsheet newspapers made up of a few sections) lying on the floor of the toilet cubicle. It raises so many questions for me. Who the f**k reads a whole broadsheet newspaper on the bog? How long are they in there for? Why instead of putting it in the bin just outside of the cubicle do they feel the need to leave it on the floor for a cleaner to pick up, after being in your shitey hands? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 We are currently working on a software application called, for reasons unknown to me, "the SEA". When the boss asks me to add extra functionality to it, I like to reply "OK let's get that into the SEA". He doesn't get it. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 On 22/12/2017 at 18:45, BigFatTabbyDave said: I'm going to guess Granny works with his own kids. He's not allowed to work with anybody else's... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senorsoupe Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 "Comic Sans" font should never be used for work related documents and emails. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 On 01/03/2018 at 14:24, nsr said: We are currently working on a software application called, for reasons unknown to me, "the SEA". When the boss asks me to add extra functionality to it, I like to reply "OK let's get that into the SEA". He doesn't get it. Similarly, when I asked the secretary for the key to the stationery cupboard and she would always tell me which numbered cupboard it was. EVERY SINGLE TIME I would quip "Yes I know, it's stationary". She never laughed once 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torpar Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I often seem to be end up at the toilet at work at the same time as one particular guy, and he likes talking to himself the whole time. Often he seems to be geeing himself up or just reminding himself he's alive "OK come on now Peter" and "OK let's do this Peter" seem to be some of his favourite sayings. Yesterday I learned what he had planned for dinner "emmm what to have tonight, maybe carrots, yup carrots, veggie night for me" He's also one of a few people I've noticed at work who wash their hands before they piss 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 1 minute ago, Torpar said: I often seem to be end up at the toilet at work at the same time as one particular guy, and he likes talking to himself the whole time. Often he seems to be geeing himself up or just reminding himself he's alive "OK come on now Peter" and "OK let's do this Peter" seem to be some of his favourite sayings. Yesterday I learned what he had planned for dinner "emmm what to have tonight, maybe carrots, yup carrots, veggie night for me" He's also one of a few people I've noticed at work who wash their hands before they piss 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex_14 Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 One of my colleagues is a serial whistler. Whistles to every song on the radio. We turn the radio off, he’ll whistle anyway. We politely ask him to stop, he’ll whistle anyway. It’s getting to the stage where I’m ready to pack in the job, he does my head in that much. Infuriating. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lordofthewing Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 "Comic Sans" font should never be used. FTFY 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzz Killington Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Half of my work colleagues start every single conversation with the word so. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 2 minutes ago, Buzz Killington said: Half of my work colleagues start every single conversation with the word so. So what? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 3 hours ago, Buzz Killington said: Half of my work colleagues start every single conversation with the word so. So do mine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrshire_nomad Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 I cannot like this more than once, that is unfair 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 19 hours ago, Torpar said: I often seem to be end up at the toilet at work at the same time as one particular guy, and he likes talking to himself the whole time. Often he seems to be geeing himself up or just reminding himself he's alive "OK come on now Peter" and "OK let's do this Peter" seem to be some of his favourite sayings. Yesterday I learned what he had planned for dinner "emmm what to have tonight, maybe carrots, yup carrots, veggie night for me" He's also one of a few people I've noticed at work who wash their hands before they piss O.K., thanks for sharing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomo Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Mine are ok but they do have a tendency to complain about absolutely everything which is doing my head in. Yesterday was an hour long moan about why it was terrible that workmen fitting a new boiler (new pipes the lot) had made a mess of the room (dust etc). To me this seems like an obvious and unavoidable peril of the job but to them, well you’d think that the workmen has shit in her kettle, the way she’s going on about it. f**k sake. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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