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Scary Bear

C**** on a Train

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Had a guy on Tuesday try and nudge me off the armrest.  Due to this i made no effort to squeeze past when getting off the train though so I'm just as bad. 

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22 minutes ago, gingette said:

When the wifey next to you takes a peek at what you're reading on the train and it's this thread!emoji41.pngemoji41.png

Show her this thread, then boot her square in the pie.

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My favourite daft c**t on a train moment was on the way up to Inverness having just left Perth and the look on the face of the west African lad as the conductor patiently explained to him the difference between Birmingham and Birnam. Apparently he had been on since London.

The train didn't even stop at Birnam and despite the conductors advice to hold on until Inverness and sort himself out in the morning he insisted on getting off at Dalwhinnie and trying to go the other way. 

I don't know how many trains a day / week stop at Dalwhinnie, if the people of Dalwhinnie have ever seen an African lad or if there is a bigger culture shock than expecting to get out at Birmingham New street and finding yourself on the shores of Loch Ericht but I imagine one way or another he was dead within hours.

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This is a great thread. I used to spend my entire train journey tweeting about the amount of tadgers on the train.

I have moved shifts and the way in is easy, on the way out of Glasgow at 1120pm i get some amount of bawheids coming out of gigs.

 

I love everyone's complaints so far.

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On the way home. Dundee train again - there's a theme here - and some daft auld c**t is fucking about at the entrance to the train stopping everyone getting on, while she puts her suitcase in the luggage place, then goes back to her suitcase to get something out, then gently manoeuvres herself into a seat next to the door.

Probably only took 90 seconds all in, but annoyed me all the same.

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Anyone that brings a bike on to a busy train, foldable or not, is an absolute c**t. There are no exceptions.

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When the wifey next to you takes a peek at what you're reading on the train and it's this thread!


On the App 'c***s on a Train' is quite prominent.

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"Scunthorpe fan"

 

 

Edited by deej

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I want an orderly queueing system for trains. Everyone turns up , goes through the ticket gate and is then held in an orderly queue. The train arrives and once everyone is off the queue is allowed to board.

Reserved seating gets a separate queue which goes first. 

I hate the swarming round the door, especially with the pot luck if it opens near or far from where im standing.

It would also mean the c***s who want a seat can turn up at 4am with a picnic. They deserve it because their life must be shit

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21 minutes ago, Scary Bear said:

On the way home. Dundee train again - there's a theme here - and some daft auld c**t is fucking about at the entrance to the train stopping everyone getting on, while she puts her suitcase in the luggage place, then goes back to her suitcase to get something out, then gently manoeuvres herself into a seat next to the door.

Probably only took 90 seconds all in, but annoyed me all the same.

I think I normally get the same trains as you. Thankfully I've been working from home today, so am safe in the knowledge that I'm not the c**t on the train.

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Denver airport has one of those wee automated underground train thingies to take you from one terminal to another. They run every 2-3 minutes, which means unless you're seriously strapped for time it's no big deal if you miss one and have to wait for the next. Nevertheless, every time there are canutes who come running up and try to dive in right as the doors are closing. (I can only assume these are people who've never used an airport before so as they come down the escalator, they see the train about to depart and assume they'll miss their flight unless they get on this specific one.)

Unfortunately, their action causes the doors to automatically open once more and we all have to wait until they start to close again. But quite frequently, another canute comes running up, does the exact same thing and the cycle continues, sometimes for days.

However, I haven't yet got to the infuriating part. Once they're actually on the train, each one of these arseholes invariably beams around the train with a big Greggy smirk as if to say "Phew, made it. Good for me, eh?"

Aye, well done pal. Good job none of us have planes to catch, right?

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48 minutes ago, WeAreElgin said:

Anyone that brings a bike on to a busy train, foldable or not, is an absolute c**t. There are no exceptions.

I agree, Bikes on trains are for cúnts.
 

I was however just looking at places I can take my bike and do a bit of wild camping etc. need to get trains. I get to be the cúnt.

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