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Scary Bear

C**** on a Train

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This morning it's two fucking annoying women on the Dundee to Edinburgh train. They seem to think silence is a crime and have been wittering on about the most mundane stuff ever since I had the misfortune to sit at the last remaining seat at their table.

 

Thankfully they are getting off at Edinburgh Gateway, to catch a plane somewhere.

 

Highlight being one telling the other five or six times - "do not leave security!" I'm assuming it's a long haul flight with transfers. Anyway, f**k that was painful. My head hurts.

 

Who was the biggest c**t on your train today?

 

 

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I thought this was the follow up to Snakes on a Plane.

However, I am a bus w****r.  I did once hear two Glasgow University students on the bus argue about who would win a "wizard-off" between Dumbledore and Gandalf.  Never have I been closer to committing ABH.

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What a coincidence, I came on here to post about two junkies currently sitting behind me on the bus talking about how they love to cut wee guys up in the town that swagger about.

Right ye are gents.

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Earphones?

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I thought this was the follow up to Snakes on a Plane.
However, I am a bus w****r.  I did once hear two Glasgow University students on the bus argue about who would win a "wizard-off" between Dumbledore and Gandalf.  Never have I been closer to committing ABH.


You really have to hold in that inner urge to just shout "shut your fucking noise you annoying c***s!" In their stupid fucking faces.

However, I feel this would just have people on a more boring forum than this - Train passenger weekly, Trains and Buses, or something - starting a thread about some lad having an outburst on the train.

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Earphones?


I prefer quiet contemplation and preparation for another wonderful day in the workplace.

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27 minutes ago, Fide said:

I thought this was the follow up to Snakes on a Plane.

However, I am a bus w****r.  I did once hear two Glasgow University students on the bus argue about who would win a "wizard-off" between Dumbledore and Gandalf.  Never have I been closer to committing ABH.

Little known fact - this was the original title to Strangers on a Train before they made Hitchcock change it.

But never mind that - who did they decide would win the wizard-off? My money's on Gandalf.

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Soon to be c***s on a Plane.
Were they fatties?


They were slightly overweight, but nothing to remark upon. The one with the thick rimmed spectacles had a spotty blouse/shirt thing which was riding up exposing some excess flab and moles.

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Can we expand this out to annoying c***s in the gym.

Last night, again it was 2 woman. Place is empty so these 2 idiots get on the treadmills next to me, set it at a slight incline, hold onto the bars and walk slow as f**k. Chattering about all sorts of shite. I had headphones in and could still hear them.

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there were two utter arseholes on the train back from hampden last week. singing hearts songs didn't even bother me it was the shouting and laughing at the top of their high pitched jambo rodent voices that triggered me.

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Delighted someone has started this important topic. It's too big for PTTGOYN.

Folk sitting in your pre booked seats " oh is this yours?" Well you know it's not fucking yours.

PS I only do this on very busy trains and when I'm in company I'm not an utter weirdo.

People standing up and queueing to get off too early. Usually South Gyle for Haymarket or BishopBriggs for QS. Especially at Glasgow as the train terminates there.

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I once heard a complete scheme goblin tell her mate;
"there are still survivors trapped in air pockets on the titanic, the rescuers just can't get to them"
I literally fell off my seat in tears.

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On a packed train
a few years back, travelling from Glasgow to Aberdeen, two young women with pushchairs in hand, were stood at the carriage doors. They had really, really loud Mancunian accents. They never drew breath from Glasgow to Dundee. Talking mundane shit and bitching about people they knew while there kids were screaming and running amok. When we reached Dundee, one of the brats asked, "Can we get off here mummy?" The mother replied, " Why would we want to get here,when we are going to Arbroath?"
A business type sitting sitting opposite me, said in a booming voice, "If we had a collection, would you get off?"
I laughed. The women glowered in my direction, shrieking, "Who the f**k said that?"
They spent the remainder of their journey cursing us. When they got off with a final scream of, "b*****ds!" The folk in the carriage began to laugh. I shook the lads hand opposite and told him that was the funniest thing I'd ever witnessed.

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29 minutes ago, GordonD said:

Little known fact - this was the original title to Strangers on a Train before they made Hitchcock change it.

But never mind that - who did they decide would win the wizard-off? My money's on Gandalf.

They'd never actually fight - couple of shitebags who got someone else to do the dirty work for them.

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Anyone who uses their phone or tablet or laptop without headphones.

Only trumped by the single mum who gave their b*****d offspring a tablet to watch Peppa Pig at full volume for the whole carriage to hear while they ignore the situation by putting their own earphones in and playing on their phone.

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On the train last weekend on way up north for a stag do. We had pre booked seats out of queen st which we occupied and commenced our drinking for the weekend.
A short while later the train pulls into Stirling/Perth can't remember which! And a group of woman get on. The fat leader of the woman walks up to us and announces 'your in our seats'. She was informed (in our totally sober and not at all mocking way) that in fact we had booked these seats and the reservation ticket attached to the back showed we had them from Glasgow to Aviemore! Needless to say she kicked off and demanded to see a conductor, and I quote, 'I'm sick of this, I have these seats and I want them'. One of her cronies realised the mistake and found their seats further down the carriage! I did ask for an apology but I'm still waiting!
Oh yeah, and the cretins had forgot bottle openers for their drink, asked us to assist and being good, respectable citizens we told them to f**k off!

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I complain about it often, but the inability of c***s here to queue is a massive annoyance to me. Same every morning, with folk trying to barge through anyone and everyone to try and get right in front of the door, making it almost impossible at times for folk to get off first. If anyone bumps into me or pushes me forward I now deliberately slow down or hold up those behind me by letting folk at the other side of the door on first. c***s.

You also get a lot of folk who are on their feet queuing to get off at the next stop as soon as it leaves the previous one, even if there is still 10 minutes to go before you fucking reach the next stop.

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52 minutes ago, invergowrie arab said:

Delighted someone has started this important topic. It's too big for PTTGOYN.

Folk sitting in your pre booked seats " oh is this yours?" Well you know it's not fucking yours.

PS I only do this on very busy trains and when I'm in company I'm not an utter weirdo.

People standing up and queueing to get off too early. Usually South Gyle for Haymarket or BishopBriggs for QS. Especially at Glasgow as the train terminates there.

Daft Passenger: "Excuse me, I think you're in my seat. Can you move?"
Me: "Oh, really? What seat do you have reserved?"
Daft Passenger: "Erm, it's seat 37. Yeah, 37, you're in my seat. Could you move out of my seat?"
Me: "I don't think so, I'm sitting in my reserved seat. I think you must have the wrong coach or something."
Daft Passenger: "Oh, what coach is this?"
Me: "Coach B."
Daft Passenger: "Oh I see, I thought this was coach A!"
Me: *in my head* "Why the f**k would coach A be the middle coach in a 3 carriage train you clown?"
Me: "No problem."

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On a ferry last week and sat down at a random seat to eat a sandwich in a nearly empty lounge. Daft old c**t insisted I move because I was in his seat. 

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