C**** on a Train

[Big Fifer]

As a 6ft4 behemoth, I make no apologies for heading straight to a table so I can sit comfortably, and I won't let the judgement of you 5ft8 wee-legged midgets stop me. 

[Busta Nut]

Aye tables are fair game. Anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong.

[Muzza81]

11 hours ago, Tynierose said:

People that sit at a table of four on their own deserve to be keelhauled.

Utter c***s.

Shut up you wet wipe. 

[Cardinal Richelieu]

It's interesting that since the groundswell in support of the solo passenger parking him or herself at the table, not one person has put forward an argument about why that sort of behaviour is unacceptable. Probably because it totally is. 

 

[Gaz FFC]

You only need a table if.

A, you are in a group 3+

B, you are doing work on a laptop

C, you have brought some kind of meal

Anything outside that and you're just a selfish p***k.

Imagine 3 complete strangers sitting at a table just staring at their phones as a group of 4 get on and have to all sit apart when they would have interacted with each other.

Knob head behaviour.

[Sergeant Wilson]

24 minutes ago, Gaz FFC said:

You only need a table if.

A, you are in a group 3+

B, you are doing work on a laptop

C, you have brought some kind of meal

Anything outside that and you're just a selfish p***k.

Imagine 3 complete strangers sitting at a table just staring at their phones as a group of 4 get on and have to all sit apart when they would have interacted with each other.

Knob head behaviour.

Working on a laptop on a train marks you down as a cūnt.

Edited December 10, 2019 by Sergeant Wilson

[Mitch]

Working on a laptop on a train marks you down as a cūnt.

On the bog standard commute to work, yes, but on a train heading south it’s not the case. Often get the train when working down south and generally get a few hours to catch up on things both ways.

[Sergeant Wilson]

Just now, Mitch said:

On the bog standard commute to work, yes, but on a train heading south it’s not the case. Often get the train when working down south and generally get a few hours to catch up on things both ways.

No, you're a cūnt. If you're travelling cattle, or even first class your clearly not that important to the organisation that your input is so valuable it can't wait. Or your work is so unimportant that it's not even confidential or sensitive enough to avoid possible disclosure.

I prescribe you keep it in the bag, eat pies and drink as a cure.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

39 minutes ago, Gaz FFC said:

You only need a table if.

A, you are in a group 3+

B, you are doing work on a laptop

C, you have brought some kind of meal

Anything outside that and you're just a selfish p***k.

Imagine 3 complete strangers sitting at a table just staring at their phones as a group of 4 get on and have to all sit apart when they would have interacted with each other.

Knob head behaviour.

If it's a long train journey, then 9 times out of 10 I'll either be working on a laptop, drinking cans or doing something else that requires a table. 

If you're in a group of 3, then come join me at our table of 4. I've got good chat. 

If you're in a group of 4, then you can pair off to the spare double seats I've kindly left for you. 

The mere idea that as a solo traveller, I should leave the much more comfortable and spacious seats on the off-chance that a group of 4 who can't bear the thought of not talking to all 3 other mates for a journey is quite frankly laughable. 

I've once given up my comfy table before for a mother travelling with three young kids. But I can't think of another situation where I should be expected to move or not sit there in the first place. 

[Mitch]

No, you're a cūnt. If you're travelling cattle, or even first class your clearly not that important to the organisation that your input is so valuable it can't wait. Or your work is so unimportant that it's not even confidential or sensitive enough to avoid possible disclosure.
I prescribe you keep it in the bag, eat pies and drink as a cure.

Doing this is not the reason I’m a c**t, there are plenty other reasons for that...

I generally travel in first class, but have done it in standard class. A privacy screen keeps out the nosey wankers like yourself.

My lion taming business for the UK wide circus is extremely important and if it failed then it would bring this fine nation to its knees!

[thistledo]

You're all lucky b*****ds if you have such options of which seats to choose from when commuting. Most of the time I'm just happy to be standing near the button so I can get off the fucking train quicker.

[Dons_1988]

1. Why on earth would you want to sit at a table to yourself and increase the chances of being hemmed in by a group of inevitably infuriating humans. Take the airline seats you morons, they still have small tables.

2. My old job required a lot of travelling about on the train quite often, taking up most of my day. If I didn't do work on the train I'd be spending my entire evening catching up on it, so yeah, I'll be the c**t working on the train if I have to. I'd much rather be sat drinking cans and doing f**k all though. Shit happens.

[GordonD]

7 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

1. Why on earth would you want to sit at a table to yourself and increase the chances of being hemmed in by a group of inevitably infuriating humans.

If you're in an airline seat by the window you're just as hemmed in by the seat in front and the c**t sitting next to you.

[Dons_1988]

1 minute ago, GordonD said:

If you're in an airline seat by the window you're just as hemmed in by the seat in front and the c**t sitting next to you.

Chances are reduced though, and you're unlikely to have to listen to their inane chat.

It's about probabilities Gordon. Plus a few cans of beer will see them away.

[Stellaboz]

What if you want to sit play Football Manager on the laptop?

[welshbairn]

25 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

Plus a few cans of beer will see them away.

And a cheery smile! 

[Gaz FFC]

12 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

The mere idea that as a solo traveller, I should leave the much more comfortable and spacious seats on the off-chance that a group of 4 who can't bear the thought of not talking to all 3 other mates for a journey is quite frankly laughable. 

Why would you sit at a table as a solo traveller?

If you were working on a laptop and then stopped that is different.

[Dons_1988]

29 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

What if you want to sit play Football Manager on the laptop?

That's worthy of being a c**t. Sit in the aisle seat of the table section, make sure the laptop plug/cable covers most of the table. 

Plenty of cans of beer and make sure and make as much noise as possible to ensure no one attempts to sit down near you.

[Stellaboz]

As funny as that sounds, I'm always more inclined to get myself into a normal 2 seat, put my bag down next to me and have the laptop on top of my lap. Whilst my beer and selected munchy sit on the flip down on the seat next to me. 

[Dons_1988]

As funny as that sounds, I'm always more inclined to get myself into a normal 2 seat, put my bag down next to me and have the laptop on top of my lap. Whilst my beer and selected munchy sit on the flip down on the seat next to me. 

Yes that is the sensible option.