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C**** on a Train


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Some dithering fat bint has just spent the whole time from Motherwell to lanark blocking the aisle in front of me while she dithers over whether the seat numbers on her ticket are actually the seats that are saying reserved. After deciding they are she then dithers over the seating arrangement between her, her mum and her daughter. After choosing their seats they then stand dithering in the aisle taking off and folding their jackets into the overhead storage. Just as she's about to plant her fat dithering a*se down and let me past to the unreserved table I was heading for she then spots this unreserved table and decides that's far better so does the same process as before but in reverse to move all their stuff to it. A boot to the pie would have been administered if I didn't fear that I would lose my boot into the abyss!

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Some dithering fat bint has just spent the whole time from Motherwell to lanark blocking the aisle in front of me while she dithers over whether the seat numbers on her ticket are actually the seats that are saying reserved. After deciding they are she then dithers over the seating arrangement between her, her mum and her daughter. After choosing their seats they then stand dithering in the aisle taking off and folding their jackets into the overhead storage. Just as she's about to plant her fat dithering a*se down and let me past to the unreserved table I was heading for she then spots this unreserved table and decides that's far better so does the same process as before but in reverse to move all their stuff to it. A boot to the pie would have been administered if I didn't fear that I would lose my boot into the abyss!
Didn't there dithering take longer than the journey?
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10 hours ago, JamesP_81 said:

Some dithering fat bint has just spent the whole time from Motherwell to lanark blocking the aisle in front of me while she dithers over whether the seat numbers on her ticket are actually the seats that are saying reserved. After deciding they are she then dithers over the seating arrangement between her, her mum and her daughter. After choosing their seats they then stand dithering in the aisle taking off and folding their jackets into the overhead storage. Just as she's about to plant her fat dithering a*se down and let me past to the unreserved table I was heading for she then spots this unreserved table and decides that's far better so does the same process as before but in reverse to move all their stuff to it. A boot to the pie would have been administered if I didn't fear that I would lose my boot into the abyss!

A simple "excuse me" would have solved it.

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A simple "excuse me" would have solved it.
You are right and in hindsight that would have been the correct course of action however I was willing to give benefit of doubt that at every juncture the whole scenario would be over in a matter of seconds. They were taking reserved seats and no one else in the coach so no rush to barge through them to take my preferred seat. Also was on duty so head to toe in work clothes and an easy target to be complained about if I attempted to rush them into sitting down.
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6 hours ago, Distant Doonhamer said:

Some absolute zoomers on the Edinburgh to Manchester train
Annoying in a somewhat nondescript manner but endless drivel about their lives on Facebook announced loud enough that the whole carriage can hear intensely irritating nonetheless. Shut the f**k up

Earphones and music are absolute necessities on public transport. Noseclips optional. 

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On the oldest train I’ve been on for some time. 12:47 to Glasgow. There’s a boy across from me, early to mid 20’s just pulled out a comb to do his hair.
Have I gone back in time?

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The boy has done an announcement on how to use the doors getting off. He’s also told folk to keep all their body parts inside the train and don’t stick them out the window. If people can’t work these things out for themselves, f**k ‘em, they don’t deserve off the train or to have all their body parts intact.

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On 10/04/2019 at 18:47, Bold Rover said:

Earphones and music are absolute necessities on public transport. Noseclips optional. 

I couldn’t ever imagine being on public transport without my headphones.

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A chap has sat next to me and whipped out the laptop, working on the train no issues (his shoes are on) but he has a desktop full icons. Use folders ffs! It’s almost completely covered by icons, there’s maybe 4 or 5 potential spaces for more icons. I’m verging on a meltdown tbh.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

C**ts who can't find their seat. Often take the form of groups of 8-10 well-rounded, cackling, Sarah Millican-esque women drinking Lambrini or the like, clearly Newcastle-bound for one of the group's hen party.

This weekend saw my third interaction with this type. Was on a train going south from Dundee to Inverkeithing on Friday, and the group joined he train at the same time as me. But by the time we'd crossed the Tay Bridge, these bints still couldn't fucking find their seat, too busy screeching away about their impending mid-life crises. This type will also often:

- Have massive a fuckoff suitcase each, and will often somehow be surprised to see the luggage racks full. This will only prolong the 'sitting down' process.
- Make sure EVERYONE can hear them. (yep, not even headphones can save you here).
- Adopt a horrendously painful accent/dialect. (This was Dundonian but it's been Geordie before).

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