Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 This thread should be like a moth to a flame for @19QOS19 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Anyone who uses their phone or tablet or laptop without headphones. Only trumped by the single mum who gave their b*****d offspring a tablet to watch Peppa Pig at full volume for the whole carriage to hear while they ignore the situation by putting their own earphones in and playing on their phone. This is annoyingly common. Had one recently who's toddler would just keep saying (in a particularly annoying SE England accent) "mommaaaaaay, mommaaaaaay, mommaaaaaay, mommaaaaaay..." for minutes on end trying to get her attention, only for her to give in and ask what he wanted rather than get him telt. Repeat this x5. Of course, this kid has clearly clocked that this technique actually works (and that there are no 'time-out' rooms on public transport), to the detriment of wider society. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 (edited) Think it was in the Herald Diary some years ago, by Tom Shields, where it I read this.... Two wimmin friends talking on a train : Woman (a) The last time I was on this train a man sat beside me and tried to put his hand up my skirt. Woman (b) OMG, how awful for you. Woman (a) Yes, and it was my Jaeger skirt, you know the one with the pleats.... Edited June 22, 2017 by ICTJohnboy 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kejan Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I heard three pretty tidy cabin crew workers on the Glasgow Airport bus(oops, is there a bus thread?) and I'm pretty sure they were summing me up "Yeah?" "Nah" "Hmmm" Followed by "Maybe" "No" "NAW" Both agreed it was a Naw as I got closer, and closer to my seat. I was delighted to even been in contention, a bit like the wildcard at Wimbledon getting papped out in the first round 6-1, 6-0, 6-0. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 1 hour ago, invergowrie arab said: Delighted someone has started this important topic. It's too big for PTTGOYN. Folk sitting in your pre booked seats " oh is this yours?" Well you know it's not fucking yours. PS I only do this on very busy trains and when I'm in company I'm not an utter weirdo. People standing up and queueing to get off too early. Usually South Gyle for Haymarket or BishopBriggs for QS. Especially at Glasgow as the train terminates there. Got the train back to Dundee on Sunday and c***s were standing up to queue to get off whilst we were still crossing the bridge 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
placidcasual Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Morons who are too stupid to read a departures board and who then compound that stupidity by mistaking me for a Scotrail employee. "Is this the East Kilbride train?" f**k off you lazy c**t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 People who don't understand the concept of how a ticket barrier works. You tend to need to actually have your ticket in your hand for it to work. Twice in the last few months I've been stuck behind somebody who has gotten to the gate before getting their wallet/purse out for the ticket. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 (edited) 13 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: Got the train back to Dundee on Sunday and c***s were standing up to queue to get off whilst we were still crossing the bridge I don't get why everyone gets so annoyed by this. Who cares if the dafties stand up early? Same as people queuing early at airport gates, just lets you know exactly when to finish your pint and stroll through the gate. Edited June 22, 2017 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kejan Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I've took the London - Dundee train about three or four times and usually end up speaking to the person opposite. Met an Australian, otolaryngologist (ear doctor?) who was going from London to York for some conference and seemed sound enough for most of the journey then about 10 minutes before getting off he started talking about Brexit and ''all those who come to Australia on boats and what do they offer to our country?" and then start to rant on about the Aborigines, and his taxes, etc. You are always like what the f**k a bit, when someone you thought was pretty sound turns out to be a bit of a toad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithie Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Twa space cadets on the train from KDY to Glasgow who, as per, were talking louder than was required pretty much wanting the whole train to know how many times they've been in the jail and who's door's been kicked in lately. I got close to tipping point when one of them got a phone call and proceeded to put the phone on loudspeaker to have their conversation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 (edited) I got stuck on a train next to some utter fanny of a business woman on my way to Glasgow who described her life to me as 'surfing on the edge of chaos' because her phone rang once during the hour long journey. I've told this story before but I'm 90% sure I got stuck opposite @Div on a train back from Inverness in about 2011/12. I ordered a beer from the trolley and it came with a free packet of some crisps that were on promotion or something. I drank my beer quietly whilst looking out the window only to hear a crunching sound from across the table where Div (or Guy Incognito) had opened the bag and was munching on my crisps. Edited June 22, 2017 by Bobby Skidmarks 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Twa space cadets on the train from KDY to Glasgow who, as per, were talking louder than was required pretty much wanting the whole train to know how many times they've been in the jail and who's door's been kicked in lately. I got close to tipping point when one of them got a phone call and proceeded to put the phone on loudspeaker to have their conversation. I once witnessed a Partridge-type moment where one guy was shouting away on the phone, highlighting he'd just got a 2:1 at uni etc etc, only for it to ring mid sentence. Laughing stock of the carriage. I shall however include planes for a moment as this has reminded me of a guy who once shouted at an air hostess "I'm studying a management degree at the University of Aberdeen, what have you done with your life?!!" as she told him he couldn't use the toilet whilst the 'fasten seatbelt' sign was on. Cringe. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 27 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: I got stuck on a train next to some utter fanny of a business woman on my way to Glasgow who described her life to me as 'surfing on the edge of chaos' because her phone rang once during the hour long journey. I've told this story before but I'm 90% sure I got stuck opposite @Div on a train back from Inverness in about 2011/12. I ordered a beer from the trolley and it came with a free packet of some crisps that were on promotion or something. I drank my beer quietly whilst looking out the window only to hear a crunching sound from across the table where Div (or Guy Incognito) had opened the bag and was munching on my crisps. @Div still let's you post on here after you presumably kicked his fucking head in for eating your crisps? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said: Impossible. Have you seen Div's head? True, it's like the Goodyear blimp isn't it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mansantoa Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I once overheard a couple of neds having a pleasant chat; "did ye hear aboot James battering Tammy coz she widnae stop huvin her period" True love 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 This thread should be like a moth to a flame for [mention=12169]19QOS19[/mention] I could comfortably add a new post to this topic every day. I was travelling back from London on Sunday and a guy (and his 11/12 year old son) said to a young lassie and middle aged woman they were in their seats. The lassie got up without a fuss but the older cow wouldn't budge. Saying she'd paid £150 and wasn't standing. I was livid as a spectator and the guy was fucking furious. Long story short he sat down and stood on the woman's foot (on purpose apparently) which caused a mini scene. It was right in front of us so we could see through the gap. The guy had his boy on his knee and his holdall was practically on the woman's knee. After an hour or so the guard came through and the guy told her the situation. The old boot argued for a but with the guard but eventually moved (taking her suitcase with her that was previously blocking the fucking aisle). As she started to walk away the guy said to her "Can I just say, you're lucky you moved. I get off at the next stop and was intending to throw my drink all over you" - more scenes! The guy certainly didn't cover himself in glory but the woman seriously fucked me off. The whole point of reserving seats is s you guarantee yourself a seat on busy services. So folk bother to do that then you get c***s like her sauntering up ignoring the system. She's probably the same kind of c**t who puts her bags on the seat next to her on busy services when folk are standing. Part of me wished the guard never came just for the continued scenes after he poured his drink on her 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 1 hour ago, welshbairn said: I don't get why everyone gets so annoyed by this. Who cares if the dafties stand up early? Same as people queuing early at airport gates, just lets you know exactly when to finish your pint and stroll through the gate. Because their genitals are at head height and they bang into folk as the train moves about. They make the place look untidy too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 12 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Im glad you said that, not me. Been nice knowing you, m8. Hope everything works out for you. @Div knows I love him and that he's welcome to munch on my crisps (not a euph) without asking anytime. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 2 hours ago, pleslie99 said: Oh yeah, and the cretins had forgot bottle openers for their drink, asked us to assist and being good, respectable citizens we told them to f**k off! Are there still people who don't know you can open bottles on the carriage ceiling? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Regarding seat bookings, let's not let the "well he's in my seat, so you'll need to get him to move if you want yours" brigade off lightly here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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