Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Sugar_Army]

10 hours ago, BFTD said:

The Carpenters were great, ya coupla fannies!

Thanks for that Tam.  How is Mr Cosgrove doing?

[BFTD]

4 minutes ago, Sugar_Army said:

Thanks for that Tam.  How is Mr Cosgrove doing?

Damn you, I will get invited on that fucking show, even if I have to pretend to like every single one of Cowan's awful monstrosities.

[Florentine_Pogen]

12 hours ago, BFTD said:

The Carpenters were great, ya coupla fannies!

Maybe wouldn't go quite that far but when 'Goodbye To Love' was released as a single in '71 (I think), I would have been 10 or 11 years old, extremely impressionable and I thought Tony Peluso's guitar solo was just the greatest thing I'd ever seen.

Of course nowadays, you've got 7 year olds knocking out covers of Eddie van Halen's 'Billie Jean' solo before they nip off to school in the morning.....

[Melanius Mullarkey]

I few years back I’m sure a previous poster (mozzamozza i think, very witty and urbane) posted that his wife (chimney harridan) came home and did a red wine huey on the living room carpet and he had to then cut out a section of carpet and replace it a la Paw Broon in the iron burning episode. The fool (#rip).

[Benjamin_Nevis]

On 17/06/2022 at 08:37, Hedgecutter said:

Asking you to clean the bathroom ahead of somebody visiting, staggering in at 1:30, and then spewing heavily tomato-based red curry sauce all over the shiny bath, up three of the scrubbed bathroom walls and all across the mopped floor, leaving you cleaning it up at 3am (to avoid it staining the whites overnight).

Without exaggeration, you'd have thought that Vincent Vega had shot Marv' in there.

TBH you could have stopped after the first sentence there. We go through this nonsense every time one of her pals is coming round, even if it's just for a quick cuppie. Does she think everyone's going to talk about her because the wetwall isn't sparkling? Or because the remnants of a particularly spectacular skidmark are still vaguely visible in the toilet bowl? 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

I’m trying to invite more folk round to visit us as it’s the only time she gets off her arse and does any hoovering/cleaning.

[Jacksgranda]

24 minutes ago, Day of the Lords said:

TBH you could have stopped after the first sentence there. We go through this nonsense every time one of her pals is coming round, even if it's just for a quick cuppie. Does she think everyone's going to talk about her because the wetwall isn't sparkling? Or because the remnants of a particularly spectacular skidmark are still vaguely visible in the toilet bowl? 

They're all the same, particularly if it's a female visitor (even more so if it's a relative), house has to be showhouse clean. It's absolutely ludicrous.

I don't think I've ever commented on the state of somebody elses's house, and I've been in a some that looked like a bomb had hit them.

Maybe there is a secret society where women meet and discuss the state of their friend's houses, "Do you know, I used the toilet and the towel was damp ?" "The shoes lined up at the front door were out of alignment." "The cushions weren't plumped up."

Edited June 19, 2022 by Jacksgranda

[Florentine_Pogen]

1 hour ago, Jacksgranda said:

Maybe there is a secret society where women meet and discuss the state of their friend's houses, "Do you know, I used the toilet and the towel was damp ?" "The shoes lined up at the front door were out of alignment." "The cushions weren't plumped up."

"I was round at Chez Hedgecutter for tea and scones, I had to go furra pish and it looks like they STILL slaughter piglets in the bath....."

[philpy]

Yep. One of her friends is coming up from Swindon next month, you'll be lucky if she's going to be here twice, and the wife has already got a 20 page dossier written on what needs done around the house prior to then.

[hk blues]

1 hour ago, Jacksgranda said:

I don't think I've ever commented on the state of somebody elses's house, and I've been in a some that looked like a bomb had hit them.

You just did!

[broon-loon]

2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

I few years back I’m sure a previous poster (mozzamozza i think, very witty and urbane) posted that his wife (chimney harridan) came home and did a red wine huey on the living room carpet and he had to then cut out a section of carpet and replace it a la Paw Broon in the iron burning episode. The fool (#rip).

Oh happy days. 

BTW is the Picture Association thread still going..? 

[Jacksgranda]

4 minutes ago, hk blues said:

You just did!

Aye, but you've no idea whose houses I'm talking about.

[FK1Bairn]

She removed her work uniform from the washing machine around 8pm last night (i can't understand how the washing of the uniform couldnt be done this morning and hung out but that's her call as its her stuff) and put it in the washing basket which was then left at the bottom of the stairs "to go up later" and put over the airers. 

She will take washing from said airers, fold them into 3 different bundles (hers, mines and our son's) and leave the bundles on the bed in our spare room. 

Does anybody else's partner do stuff in stages? I think her mother probably does similar

[Jacksgranda]

6 minutes ago, FK1Bairn said:

She removed her work uniform from the washing machine around 8pm last night (i can't understand how the washing of the uniform couldnt be done this morning and hung out but that's her call as its her stuff) and put it in the washing basket which was then left at the bottom of the stairs "to go up later" and put over the airers. 

She will take washing from said airers, fold them into 3 different bundles (hers, mines and our son's) and leave the bundles on the bed in our spare room. 

Does anybody else's partner do stuff in stages? I think her mother probably does similar

That'll be why.

[JamesP_81]

6 hours ago, FK1Bairn said:

She removed her work uniform from the washing machine around 8pm last night (i can't understand how the washing of the uniform couldnt be done this morning and hung out but that's her call as its her stuff) and put it in the washing basket which was then left at the bottom of the stairs "to go up later" and put over the airers. 

She will take washing from said airers, fold them into 3 different bundles (hers, mines and our son's) and leave the bundles on the bed in our spare room. 

Does anybody else's partner do stuff in stages? I think her mother probably does similar

Yup . Washing is never taken off the line folded and put away , it gets folded into piles then goes into a bag and sits at the bottom of the stairs for an unspecified period before finally getting put away . Same with sweeping up the hard floors , depositing little piles of dust and crumbs in the corner and leaving them there untill one of the kids inevitably walks through it. 

Start a job, finish the job , onto next job . Simple. 

[Bigmouth Strikes Again]

Where do you even start with this?

Thank you.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

1 minute ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said:

Where do you even start with this?

Thank you.

Who'd have thought you need airfresheners in Dundee?

[Florentine_Pogen]

4 minutes ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said:

Where do you even start with this?

Thank you.

[Florentine_Pogen]

3 minutes ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said:

Who'd have thought you need airfresheners in Dundee?

Trying to operate a vehicle with all that detritus swinging about in your face would drive me mental....................

[Bigmouth Strikes Again]

5 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

Trying to operate a vehicle with all that detritus swinging about in your face would drive me mental....................

Yeah, head on collision, but at least it smelled really nice.