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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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As she is veggie and once worked in a kitchen restaurant we have a deal. She cooks, I clean up after.

As our kitchen is currently a bit small for a dishwasher it has become a bit of an issue.

She uses a separate utensil for every food item she preps.  While I know this can cut out food poison she just leaves them a at her arse, never in the sink or close to it.  Same will all the stuff she had opened, none back in the fridge.  Cupboard doors and drawers open.  It is mental as other than the kitchen she is a tidy freak.

On a few occasions after eating I start to head to do my half of the bargain she will say "Don't get upset when you go in there" who h is code fir "I left the place like a fucking tip and even though I know I did I made no attempt to rectify it".

One time I stopped at the living room door, turned back and sat down.  She never spoke to me that night nor all the next day as she saw the crap all still there the next tea time.

Unfortunately it is still an ongoing issue.

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1 hour ago, Sugar_Army said:

As she is veggie and once worked in a kitchen restaurant we have a deal. She cooks, I clean up after.

As our kitchen is currently a bit small for a dishwasher it has become a bit of an issue.

She uses a separate utensil for every food item she preps.  While I know this can cut out food poison she just leaves them a at her arse, never in the sink or close to it.  Same will all the stuff she had opened, none back in the fridge.  Cupboard doors and drawers open.  It is mental as other than the kitchen she is a tidy freak.

On a few occasions after eating I start to head to do my half of the bargain she will say "Don't get upset when you go in there" who h is code fir "I left the place like a fucking tip and even though I know I did I made no attempt to rectify it".

One time I stopped at the living room door, turned back and sat down.  She never spoke to me that night nor all the next day as she saw the crap all still there the next tea time.

Unfortunately it is still an ongoing issue.

I feel this a wee tiny bit. If it was as bad as you describe it, I'd have murdered a few hookers or something.

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As she is veggie and once worked in a kitchen restaurant we have a deal. She cooks, I clean up after.
As our kitchen is currently a bit small for a dishwasher it has become a bit of an issue.
She uses a separate utensil for every food item she preps.  While I know this can cut out food poison she just leaves them a at her arse, never in the sink or close to it.  Same will all the stuff she had opened, none back in the fridge.  Cupboard doors and drawers open.  It is mental as other than the kitchen she is a tidy freak.
On a few occasions after eating I start to head to do my half of the bargain she will say "Don't get upset when you go in there" who h is code fir "I left the place like a fucking tip and even though I know I did I made no attempt to rectify it".
One time I stopped at the living room door, turned back and sat down.  She never spoke to me that night nor all the next day as she saw the crap all still there the next tea time.
Unfortunately it is still an ongoing issue.

Aye, I just don't get this at all.

If I walked into the kitchen after my better half had made a meal, without looking at the plate, I'd know exactly what was made by all the shit left lying around.

When I cook, pretty much all that is left in view is the washed dishes and a dirty pot and pan (or a pan and pot if you're going down the alphabetically route of cookware products).

Biggest bugbear* is using more than one pot to make a dish then putting it in a crueset pot to put in the oven. Three dirty pots when one would have sufficed.

*It's not my biggest bugbear by a long long way.
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2 hours ago, Sugar_Army said:

As she is veggie and once worked in a kitchen restaurant we have a deal. She cooks, I clean up after.

As our kitchen is currently a bit small for a dishwasher it has become a bit of an issue.

She uses a separate utensil for every food item she preps.  While I know this can cut out food poison she just leaves them a at her arse, never in the sink or close to it.  Same will all the stuff she had opened, none back in the fridge.  Cupboard doors and drawers open.  It is mental as other than the kitchen she is a tidy freak.

On a few occasions after eating I start to head to do my half of the bargain she will say "Don't get upset when you go in there" who h is code fir "I left the place like a fucking tip and even though I know I did I made no attempt to rectify it".

One time I stopped at the living room door, turned back and sat down.  She never spoke to me that night nor all the next day as she saw the crap all still there the next tea time.

Unfortunately it is still an ongoing issue.

I know the feeling. When I cook first thing I do is empty the dishwasher so I can fill it up as I use things. I tidy up as I prepare and cook, so all that's left when I serve is the plates and cutlery being used for eating. Whereas, after she cooks it's a battle zone with stuff everywhere and nothing put back in fridge or cupboards. The only stuff removed from the dishwasher is the things she needed, everything else is left, so first thing I need to do when I clean up is empty the dishwasher. It all does bug me ever so slightly. But most of all it's not emptying the dishwasher that bugs me most. 

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8 hours ago, Raidernation said:

You should watch ‘murcan’s use cutlery (or silverware as they call it, even when it’s plastic)
I constantly get compliments on how I can use a knife and fork in “combination” nut just hack my food to bits then shovel it in with a fork only.

Meldrew? Is that you? 

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9 hours ago, RH33 said:

I was talking about cutlery.

When asked names kids, age order from oldest.....

My wife sometimes goes through all six names before she settles on the correct one, although most times it's just the four girls' names.

As for the grandchildren...

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7 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

My wife sometimes goes through all six names before she settles on the correct one, although most times it's just the four girls' names.

As for the grandchildren...

My ma used to do this when I was getting a row. All of the male names (including my da, uncle and the fucking dog) would be gone through before she settled on mine. 

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1 hour ago, philpy said:

Must be a woman thing not putting stuff away as you go. Mine is the same. Goes on the defensive if I mention stuff getting left out. Same with not wiping things down.

To be honest reading this thread I think you’re just married to an absolute fucking mink. 

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On 08/01/2022 at 18:15, Loonytoons said:


Getting a flight from Glasgow to Luton.

I asked my better half what time we had to be at the airport.
7.00 was the reply.
Good stuff, thought I. 90 minute drive and also miss the traffic.
Left the following morning at 5:15 just for a bit of leeway then asked when the flight was.
7.00 was the reply.
She and the kids got dropped off just in time, I had a shitty drive all the way to Southern Englandshire.

Sounds ideal to me, tbh!

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15 hours ago, velo army said:

My ma used to do this when I was getting a row. All of the male names (including my da, uncle and the fucking dog) would be gone through before she settled on mine. 

Mine's been doing that for the past ten years, mainly with me and the wean. She always, always gets our names wrong the first time, which is remarkable.

The mother-in-law has a thing where she always gets the gender of animals wrong when referring to them, and my mother's just entered that stage too. I could understand occasional confusion due to old age, but fucking it up every time?

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