Jump to content

Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


Recommended Posts

3 minutes ago, Raithie said:

Asked her if she needed to use our toilet and she said "oh no it's fine, I've held it in for so long I don't need anymore"...

^^^ discovered how Tena Lady underwear can make her feel pretty

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Raithie said:

Surely woman can hover over the lavvy pan if they're worried about their wee erse touching the seat?

 

You'd think so wouldn't you. Have you ever tried reasoning with the Mrs? I'd get a more practical and logical response if I talked to the porcelain throne itself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The wife asked me to iron a pair of black jeans for her this morning to go to work in. Sure, I said. Got the pair of black jeans sitting in her drawer, ironed them and went off to work. Half way to work she phoned me - I had ironed the wrong black jeans, apparently. 

Not sure why she called, I wasn't exactly ready to turn my car round on the motorway and head back. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

Not sure why she called, I wasn't exactly ready to turn my car round on the motorway and head back. 

 

Blame allocation, the only stat that matters. 

Same reason that girls get their lads to do as many tasks as possible, regardless of how trivial (ie restaurant/cinema reservations, stuff for dinner bought from the supermarket etc) - if it goes tits up, even if you followed their instructions to the letter, it was YOU that caused the error.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two days in a row - was driving to work this morning and my daughter couldn't find a badge she wears at school. Apparently I knew where it was (in truth I am clueless). So once again I get a call whilst on the motorway demanding that I reveal the secret location of this badge. Very angry call as the kid is upset.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, Empty It said:

Come home and the Wifi isnt working, spend 10 minutes trying to fix it before she tells me it's been off all day but shes not phoned anyone as shes sure it'll "fix itself at some point".

This is my life.  Street lights not working for days - tap water smells foul - dogs barking - neighbours light sparking (they're away) - power off and so on and on.  Same response each time, no need to call anybody as somebody else will do it.  Nope, they haven't and they won't.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She's away to Asda to get a few things.
Asda is about 500 yards from our house.

She's been gone an hour, I doubt I could spend an hour in there if I tried.

She's gonna moan about the weans dinner running late etc now. Guarantee it. She's also phoned me from Asda as I must know what she's forgot to pick up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mrs CB undergoes a strange shutdown come Autumn, as soon as it hits October she will invariably be in her jammies for 6pm and more often than not will want to watch the TV upstairs in bed rather than downstairs with myself and the wean. In the summer she's the exact opposite and will literally sit out the back until stupid o'clock in the evening. She's also taken to wearing her stash of ludicrously chunky knit sweaters and seems resistant to the idea that she's boiling all the time being simply down to the fact that she's dressed like a bloody Eskimo despite it being about 15 degrees weatherwise!! It's like a strange form of tunnel vision of acting like she thinks she needs to seasonally. Bizarre.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, cb_diamond said:

Mrs CB undergoes a strange shutdown come Autumn, as soon as it hits October she will invariably be in her jammies for 6pm and more often than not will want to watch the TV upstairs in bed rather than downstairs with myself and the wean. In the summer she's the exact opposite and will literally sit out the back until stupid o'clock in the evening. She's also taken to wearing her stash of ludicrously chunky knit sweaters and seems resistant to the idea that she's boiling all the time being simply down to the fact that she's dressed like a bloody Eskimo despite it being about 15 degrees weatherwise!! It's like a strange form of tunnel vision of acting like she thinks she needs to seasonally. Bizarre.

Sounds like a fucking result tbh! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, JamesP_81 said:

Sounds like a fucking result tbh! 

A fair point, well made 😂

The only downside being that when I eventually go up she'll be watching something dire that she has been binging. I'll then get crap for attempting to find a compromise show. As a result I am currently up to date with most of the plot points of season 7 of desperate housewives....

Edited by cb_diamond
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 03/10/2021 at 07:34, buchan30 said:

List of the things that make the biggest noise.

500 dB - Mrs B getting up and ready for a dayshift.
230 dB – Sperm whale
180 dB – Rocket launch
120 dB – Fireworks
110 dB – Live gig
100 dB – Night club
97 dB – Fire alarm
94 dB – Lawnmower
88 dB – Heavy traffic
85 dB – Food blender
75 dB – Hoovering

The noise my wife can produce putting cutlery back in the cutlery drawer is incredible. It's like a scrap metal yard

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...