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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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28 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

"I've been on the Ikea website looking for a shoe rack. It says it's out of stock everywhere, but let's just go and see if they have one"

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My mum used to be like that, and still is.

"Well no, they aren't going to have a secret stash just for the folk who want to buy it in person are they?" was the usual reply.

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"I've been on the Ikea website looking for a shoe rack. It says it's out of stock everywhere, but let's just go and see if they have one"
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It's a trap. Was coerced into going to IKEA last Sunday to get 2 bedside tables for the 2nd bedroom in our new house. 1.5 hours and 270 quid later we left with a whole host of shite I didn't think we needed. Unreal.
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22 hours ago, Aufc said:

My mrs has gone from arranging nothing with her friends (“because I’m a mum”) to having shit arranged every weekend. I don’t actually mind this as I’m enjoying spending the weekends with my kids etc. However, it is the little comments from her and her mum. “Oh I was due a few” and “well deserved”. She has spent the last however many years not organising shit by her own choice. I have pestered her to arrange stuff but she never did. Then if I go for a night out and come home late then I get hit with “you are always out”.

I am in this stage right now. She doesn't want to arrange anything. So I have a few nights out I am going on. Wee snidey comments or "where you going on sat again?"

Reply with a big smile and an "I've telt ye that already". Not in a cheeky way but in a delighted way and it fucks her off even more.

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20 hours ago, philpy said:

Your missus and mine must be related. She made cauliflower cheese and left this behind. I'm sure the judge would acquitt me....

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Every time she makes a piece or bit of toast this is how this shit is left.

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I asked her if she thought I needed a haircut. Straightforward question, it's either yes or no. You'd think. Started off by saying one of her chums has a friend who does all her friends hair, witters on for 15 minutes and is now in the huff cause I interrupted her with 'is that a yes or a no?' Seemingly my question sounded sarcastic.

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Chucks stuff out from the fridge for absolutely no reason at all. Chucked a tub of Parmesan out last week despite it being in date, this week an unopened tub of Greek yoghurt.

Does my nut in when I go to cook something and a couple of the ingredients are missing.

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4 hours ago, Busta Nut said:

Every time she makes a piece or bit of toast this is how this shit is left.

Mine is the opposite. Everything gets cleaned and wiped before eating. She's then skooshing Fairy Liquid in the basin within 0.5 seconds of the last forkful going down.

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5 hours ago, The Skelpit Lug said:

I asked her if she thought I needed a haircut. Straightforward question, it's either yes or no. You'd think. Started off by saying one of her chums has a friend who does all her friends hair, witters on for 15 minutes and is now in the huff cause I interrupted her with 'is that a yes or a no?' Seemingly my question sounded sarcastic.

In the back of her mind was probably the "do I look fat in this" question.

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5 hours ago, Busta Nut said:

I am in this stage right now. She doesn't want to arrange anything. So I have a few nights out I am going on. Wee snidey comments or "where you going on sat again?"

Reply with a big smile and an "I've telt ye that already". Not in a cheeky way but in a delighted way and it fucks her off even more.

Mine is similar. I'll give her some information about things like needing the car at a certain time, booking a gas engineer or date and time I've booked her nail appointment with a friends wife. Two hours later she will check the information I've given her by asking "did you tell me about....?"

Apparently I'm a sarky/crabbit b*stard when I say "yes and you'd remember this info if it was your maw or sister telling you"

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14 hours ago, jimbaxters said:

Mine is the opposite. Everything gets cleaned and wiped before eating. She's then skooshing Fairy Liquid in the basin within 0.5 seconds of the last forkful going down.

How is this infuriating? She's clean and tidy and doing your dishes. Sounds like an angel to me.

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1 hour ago, GTG_03 said:

How is this infuriating? She's clean and tidy and doing your dishes. Sounds like an angel to me.

 

41 minutes ago, jimbaxters said:

She is. I was saying she was the opposite of the poster I was replying to.

You're lucky - mine's is still living.

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My missus has the uncanny ability to talk to complete strangers in a shop, find out their whole life story, what their weins grew up to be, how many dogs they have and what they do for a living and then has then nerve to become indignant when she inevitably finds me back sitting in the car some 45 minutes later, when i tell her i'm not remotely interested in any of her new found information. Either that or we can go anywhere, and i mean anywhere on the planet and if she doesn't directly know someone she will start talking to a random person and they will know someone in common and slever complete shite for at least an hour.

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I am generally out the door at 6.30am and not back till 6pm. My mrs doesn’t have a 9-5 and my son is now at school and my other one is away two days a week at nursery. I always come home to the kitchen being a complete riot and her saying how busy and stressful her day has been.

On Sunday she fucked off for lunch with her mates and left me with the two kids. To get it up her, I entertained the two kids, cooked a Sunday roast for 5 people (her gran came), cleaned the whole house and had the dinner all set with a glass of wine waiting for her.

^^ dad of the year

Edited to add. Still didn’t get my hole

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11 minutes ago, Aufc said:

IOn Sunday she fucked off for lunch with her mates and left me with the two kids. To get it up her, I entertained the two kids, cooked a Sunday roast for 5 people (her gran came), cleaned the whole house and had the dinner all set with a glass of wine waiting for her.

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51 minutes ago, clarky-1979 said:

My missus has the uncanny ability to talk to complete strangers in a shop, find out their whole life story, what their weins grew up to be, how many dogs they have and what they do for a living and then has then nerve to become indignant when she inevitably finds me back sitting in the car some 45 minutes later, when i tell her i'm not remotely interested in any of her new found information. Either that or we can go anywhere, and i mean anywhere on the planet and if she doesn't directly know someone she will start talking to a random person and they will know someone in common and slever complete shite for at least an hour.

Enlarged 'talk lobe' at the top of her brain stem, it's a fairly common ailment amongst women, and not life threatening.

Thank you.

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59 minutes ago, clarky-1979 said:

My missus has the uncanny ability to talk to complete strangers in a shop, find out their whole life story, what their weins grew up to be, how many dogs they have and what they do for a living and then has then nerve to become indignant when she inevitably finds me back sitting in the car some 45 minutes later, when i tell her i'm not remotely interested in any of her new found information. Either that or we can go anywhere, and i mean anywhere on the planet and if she doesn't directly know someone she will start talking to a random person and they will know someone in common and slever complete shite for at least an hour.

These strangers have their dogs out working? Please pm the details and I'll have ours out, too.

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