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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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6 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

That machine needs levelled and pushed back in again.

How dare you speak about my wife like that. 

Anyway,  you specialise in mushrooms and concrete. Leave washing machines to the experts.

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My wife is reading one of her "women's" magazines, and has read out (her) synopsis of a story involving a commercial flight to Malaysia, black operatives sanctioned by the government and Kuwait/Iran/Iraq (all 3 have been mentioned), and the use  of the passengers as cover for these black ops, therebye putting them at risk,  but as Saddam Hussain was also mentioned I'm assuming it has something to do with the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, but I'm scared to ask. Anyway, the government aren't admitting it. 

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My wife is reading one of her "women's" magazines, and has read out (her) synopsis of a story involving a commercial flight to Malaysia, black operatives sanctioned by the government and Kuwait/Iran/Iraq (all 3 have been mentioned), and the use  of the passengers as cover for these black ops, therebye putting them at risk,  but as Saddam Hussain was also mentioned I'm assuming it has something to do with the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, but I'm scared to ask. Anyway, the government aren't admitting it. 

British Airways Flight 149 possibly there's a book out about it.
9781541700048-1.jpg
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59 minutes ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

I'm not fussed about it, although it's just the latest in a line of food-ordering bullshit I'm sure she does for effect. Nothing can be ordered off a menu as-is, there's ALWAYS to be a change. 

Mines was like this. 

She'd order a cheeseburger without cheese - which is fair enough if they don't have a hamburger on the menu. But they do. 

We'd go to a pizza joint and she'd kick up a massive fuss because she doesn't like cheese - or pizza particularly - only to then, a weekend later order a fucking spicy chicken pizza from the takeaway to be delivered. 

"But its different from a takeaway." 

GoFuckYersel. 

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I worked for a couple for a short spell who competed to complain about every fucking thing when we stopped for a meal somewhere. "The lettuce is a little limp, could you ask the chef if he has some fresh?" Me trying to dissolve into the background.

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29 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

I worked for a couple for a short spell who competed to complain about every fucking thing when we stopped for a meal somewhere. "The lettuce is a little limp, could you ask the chef if he has some fresh?" Me trying to dissolve into the background.

Were you the butler?

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34 minutes ago, Rugster said:

Were you the butler?

 

30 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Flogging biker boots and helmets round trade shows and races, mainly to middle aged couples wanting matching colours. Apart from them it was a laugh.

I was going to say the pet gimp but he already supplied that answer.

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2 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

My wife is reading one of her "women's" magazines, and has read out (her) synopsis of a story involving a commercial flight to Malaysia, black operatives sanctioned by the government and Kuwait/Iran/Iraq (all 3 have been mentioned), and the use  of the passengers as cover for these black ops, therebye putting them at risk,  but as Saddam Hussain was also mentioned I'm assuming it has something to do with the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, but I'm scared to ask. Anyway, the government aren't admitting it. 

You sure it’s not a recruitment pamphlet? Beware the radicalised grannies.

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She's spiked your Sunday morning cuppa with Acid. 


I wish it was this.
Turned out she wanted to watch something in wide screen last night for whatever reason and when try to restore the normal settings ballsed it up, turned the telly off and left it for me to fix. [emoji23]
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3 hours ago, Arabdownunder said:

"Remind me to <insert task>".

Then when she forgets to do it, its my fault for not reminding her.

'Get your phone to remind you, it won't forget' is the stock answer for this.

Phones are brilliant in general, you can search loads of stuff that you don't know the answer too.  I don't think a lot of women actually know this.

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36 minutes ago, Day of the Lords said:

"What's the time?" - whilst she literally has her phone in her hand, but is too busy replying to one of her pals on social media. Wtf.

Even better if she was asking on behalf of her pal.

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On 18/09/2021 at 16:52, Jacksgranda said:

It's only practice, he says it went allright, but he says that about everything! :lol: *

*ETA: "Good" is the expression. Everything is "good".

He had another practice this Saturday, it's £10.00/each there are between 15 to 20 of them, the guy running the tests has 4 sessions a day, let's say 60 children @ £10.00/each = £600.00. The room costs a tenner an hour, he maybe needs a bigger one to accomodate social distancing, which is £15.45/hour.

What other expenses would he have? Hire of desks perhaps? I don't know if a leisure centre would have a supply of primary school size desks. I'm sure the photocopying of papers gets done at school, this guy must be clearing the guts of £500.00 a week (cash).

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