Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[TheScarf]

'Aye a holiday fae you hen!' should be the stock reply to all these comments from wives/partners.

[Thorongil]

On 10/07/2021 at 23:22, CountyFan said:

Come to the realisation that 90% of women's group chats are what gift to buy for the newborn/girl at work that got the promotion/engaged couple/mother in laws birthday. 

No I don't know whether your pal's boyfriend who I met once at a wedding would appreciate a couples spa voucher. 

Women are weird. 

Women are utterly obsessed with this nonsense. Gifts and cards for everything. Obsessed.

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 hour ago, Thorongil said:

Women are utterly obsessed with this nonsense. Gifts and cards for everything. Obsessed.

 "We need to get so and so a birthday card.

How do you know it's his birthday, I've known him nearly 50 years and didn't know when it was, fūck him, what does he get me"?

[The Moonster]

9 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

 "We need to get so and so a birthday card.

How do you know it's his birthday, I've known him nearly 50 years and didn't know when it was, fūck him, what does he get me"?

Enough about your dad, Sarge. 

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 minute ago, The Moonster said:

Enough about your dad, Sarge. 

If you think I'm doing the Action Man deserter joke again...

[The Minertaur]

We had a wedding at the weekend which of course means one thing:

RETURNS.

Now I don't mind doing returns for her.  No idea why she has such a phobia of going to a post office (across the road) and getting a bit of paper but that is another chat for another day.  It takes 2 minutes and it's on my way to work so doesn't bother me.

Anyway we're down in Dundee for the wedding and I go to empty my wallet before the wedding as it's full of receipts and post office tracking things.  I ask her - "have you had all the returns back or do I need to keep these?" to which she says "Yeah they're all back".  All paper binned.

The next day she asks for the tracking number for a return as she's not heard anything about it.  Turns out the company are an absolute nightmare for returns and if you need to contact them about a refund you need to give the tracking code.  Fury as it appears I've cost us £100 odd for being too lazy to check it myself. She even put the order through my email address so I should have known they hadn't been in touch!

Yesterday I received an email saying the refund is coming. Not even going to mention it.

[heedthebaa]

She went out before, as we needed tea bags. She came back with said tea bags, but also a ring. Apparently I bought her it for her birthday. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[pandarilla]

She went out before, as we needed tea bags. She came back with said tea bags, but also a ring. Apparently I bought her it for her birthday. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Did she get it in asda?

[heedthebaa]

22 minutes ago, pandarilla said:

27 minutes ago, heedthebaa said:

She went out before, as we needed tea bags. She came back with said tea bags, but also a ring. Apparently I bought her it for her birthday. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Did she get it in asda?

I was hoping more Aldi’s or B+M, but not to be

[Ron Aldo]

Her pal had a hen do at the weekend which ended up just being in her mum's garden. Mrs Aldo kindly offered our garden furniture, patio heater and gazebo for the occasion. She obviously completely forgot she drives a Toyota Aygo in which she managed to fit precisely 1 chair, leaving me to fire the rest in my car to take down.

I then had to go back tonight to pick it all up again.

[weirdcal]

she drives a Toyota Aygo

So named for when stuck behind one that's what you are screaming at it

[GordonS]

On 08/07/2021 at 09:00, Slacker said:

I think if you're going by the letter of the law - luck of the draw - then you're right, but if you're going by common sense/decency you should've just got up.

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you lazy c**t

 

Every divorced couple with kids I know did this - kept score instead of taking a wider view of what's fair.

[pandarilla]

Every divorced couple with kids I know did this - kept score instead of taking a wider view of what's fair.

Aye i know a couple that should absolutely be divorced that do this. It just shows a massive lack of trust.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

In a shop earlier.

“Oh that’s a lovely birthday card there I’ll buy that”

Oh aye who’s birthdays coming up?

”nobody but it will do for someone soon I’m sure”

Guaranteed to get fired into a drawer when we get back along with the other 34 birthday cards, 25 sympathy cards and 89 anniversary cards, all unopened. 

[dave258]

Starting a sentence but without providing any context as to what she's prattling on about. She seems to say the context part at the end rather than beginning with it, and I'm expected to suddenly telepathically attune to what's going on in her skull. Tonight's example, after sitting in silence for 5 mins or so watching telly:

Her: raita dip!

Me:..... what?

Her: that would work wouldn't it?

Me:.... what would work?

Her: well there's no sense in it going to waste

Me: why the f**k are you going on about some kind of dip? Waste what?

Her: well we have yogurt and cucumber in the fridge, I could make dip.

Me:......

[gav-ffc]

Constantly at her to stop leaving so much shite in the car when we’re out and about, can be anything from empty coffee cups to clothes/shopping. Which she’ll give the “yeah yeah, next time I’ll lift it out” 

3 hours into work and guess who got a text asking if her new tablets are in the car 

[Bonksy+HisChristianParade]

Does the dishes and instead of tidying away the dishes from the night before which are now dry on the rack, proceeds to pile up the freshly washed dishes on top, making a sort of leaning tower of Pisa of dishes which would come crashing down if there was a slight gust of wind. Didn’t take it well when I suggested she should just clear the other dishes away first as apparently that was ‘giving her tasks’. Despite the fact I’m working just now and she’s self-isolating with f**k all to do.

That kind of laziness just annoys f**k out of me. Also having the washing machine on constantly when I’m trying to work. 

[microdave]

15 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

In a shop earlier.

“Oh that’s a lovely birthday card there I’ll buy that”

Oh aye who’s birthdays coming up?

”nobody but it will do for someone soon I’m sure”

Guaranteed to get fired into a drawer when we get back along with the other 34 birthday cards, 25 sympathy cards and 89 anniversary cards, all unopened. 

Do a Tam Mullen and write Christmas over the correct parts and save a few quid in five months time.

[Jimmy Shaker]

19 minutes ago, Bonksy+HisChristianParade said:

Does the dishes and instead of tidying away the dishes from the night before which are now dry on the rack, proceeds to pile up the freshly washed dishes on top, making a sort of leaning tower of Pisa of dishes which would come crashing down if there was a slight gust of wind. Didn’t take it well when I suggested she should just clear the other dishes away first as apparently that was ‘giving her tasks’. Despite the fact I’m working just now and she’s self-isolating with f**k all to do.

That kind of laziness just annoys f**k out of me. Also having the washing machine on constantly when I’m trying to work. 

Herself seems unable to bring any domestic task to a conclusion. Does the dishes, but won't dry them. Will make the bed, but won't put the cushions and various extra bits - all bought by her - on it. Will do washing but won't take it out of the machine. Will re-wash the washing, hang it up outside, but won't take it in. If she does bring in the washing in a basket, she won't bother to put anything away. Bizarre behaviour. 

[Derry Alli]

Mines leaves a pile of dishes and says she will do them later, I'll do them for her then because I haven't changed the water half way through she then goes and does them as they're 'dirty'. 

She will put a washing on in the machine and if she's not in when it's finished - at that exact time - she will need to re-wash it. Apparently it'll stink because its sat in the machine. I swear the quickest I've seen a re-wash was about twenty minutes. 

Again, nutters.