Florentine_Pogen Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 "What should I say back to *insert name here*" No-one will ever question "Can't make it I'm afraid. My piles are giving me hell." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superbigal Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 I think the hot weather is messing with brain circuitry. Wife's been out with the kid for a day trip and has come back with a face like thunder because he was being a wee dick and she felt like all the other mums were sliently judging her for his antics. To top it off she stopped to get some shopping, got distracted and drove off without putting it in the boot. She has some work she has to do later and this is understandably not ideal as it's eating into her time to do it. Now what would you do in this situation? A: Swear under your breath at it being one of those days, deposit kid with partner, turn round, get back in car and head off to get it? Or... B: Sit down telling your partner a big long story in mind numbing detail about all the ways the day went wrong, procrastinate about phoning up the shop to see if your shopping is still there, after being prodded by your partner half a dozen times to just phone the bloody shop, phone up and confirm it's there then go *BACK* to telling partner more details of what an awful day it was while said partner just looks blankly at you repeating "Go and get the shopping. It doesn't matter it was a shite day. Stop talking. Go and get the shopping. I don't care what some mums you or I will never see again in our lives might have thought. Right do you want me to go and get it instead? No? OK. You are wasting time. Get in the car." Thought she had forgotten to put the kid in the boot. Maybe I was right first time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorongil Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 8 minutes ago, Pato said: I think the hot weather is messing with brain circuitry. Wife's been out with the kid for a day trip and has come back with a face like thunder because he was being a wee dick and she felt like all the other mums were sliently judging her for his antics. To top it off she stopped to get some shopping, got distracted and drove off without putting it in the boot. She has some work she has to do later and this is understandably not ideal as it's eating into her time to do it. Now what would you do in this situation? A: Swear under your breath at it being one of those days, deposit kid with partner, turn round, get back in car and head off to get it? Or... B: Sit down telling your partner a big long story in mind numbing detail about all the ways the day went wrong, procrastinate about phoning up the shop to see if your shopping is still there, after being prodded by your partner half a dozen times to just phone the bloody shop, phone up and confirm it's there then go *BACK* to telling partner more details of what an awful day it was while said partner just looks blankly at you repeating "Go and get the shopping. It doesn't matter it was a shite day. Stop talking. Go and get the shopping. I don't care what some mums you or I will never see again in our lives might have thought. Right do you want me to go and get it instead? No? OK. You are wasting time. Get in the car." Mine often asks me to make phone calls on her behalf. Like phoning the doctor to book an appointment. Speaking to the receptionist. Sometimes I do it and sometimes I just say “what the f**k?” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 11 minutes ago, Pato said: I think the hot weather is messing with brain circuitry. Wife's been out with the kid for a day trip and has come back with a face like thunder because he was being a wee dick and she felt like all the other mums were sliently judging her for his antics. To top it off she stopped to get some shopping, got distracted and drove off without putting it in the boot. She has some work she has to do later and this is understandably not ideal as it's eating into her time to do it. Now what would you do in this situation? A: Swear under your breath at it being one of those days, deposit kid with partner, turn round, get back in car and head off to get it? Or... B: Sit down telling your partner a big long story in mind numbing detail about all the ways the day went wrong, procrastinate about phoning up the shop to see if your shopping is still there, after being prodded by your partner half a dozen times to just phone the bloody shop, phone up and confirm it's there then go *BACK* to telling partner more details of what an awful day it was while said partner just looks blankly at you repeating "Go and get the shopping. It doesn't matter it was a shite day. Stop talking. Go and get the shopping. I don't care what some mums you or I will never see again in our lives might have thought. Right do you want me to go and get it instead? No? OK. You are wasting time. Get in the car." Hand her a Weighwatchers leaflet. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 2 minutes ago, Thorongil said: Mine often asks me to make phone calls on her behalf. Like phoning the doctor to book an appointment. Speaking to the receptionist. Sometimes I do it and sometimes I just say “what the f**k?” Mine seems incapable of making her own phone calls, which is surprising because she's the expert on what i should have said 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Terrapin Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 My wife doesn't understand the concept of best before dates. She thinks if an uncooked chicken is cooked on its best before date it has to be eaten that day. Similarly if it's cooked 3 days before it's sell by date you have 3 days to eat it. Needless to say my dogs are very well fed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deej Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 36 minutes ago, coprolite said: Mine seems incapable of making her own phone calls, which is surprising because she's the expert on what i should have said +1 Refuses to make phone calls, yet insists on being next to me when I end up doing it so she can interrupt me with what I was meant to say. Turns out going silent and holding the phone out to her so she can speak isn't what she wants though 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 49 minutes ago, superbigal said: Thought she had forgotten to put the kid in the boot. Maybe I was right first time. I assumed there was a comma missing. "To top it off she stopped to get some shopping, got distracted and drove off without putting it in, the boot." 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 Similarly if it's cooked 3 days before it's sell by date you have 3 days to eat it. "These are small but those outside are far away........." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 To put this in context, I only ever watch live football on TV when Scotland are playing or.....and here's the rub...during World Cup or Euros. Work permitting I then try to see every match. This should mean I have saved up plenty of football "tickets". In a ray of sunshine moment, when talking last night about telly logistics for the upcoming Euros she ACTUALLY said that as long as I sign her into Netflix on her laptop (because that's my job apparently) then the T.V. is all mine. Oh how I wish I had taped it because I am convinced I will sequel this post at some point this weekend with a story of the collapse of said agreement. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorongil Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 1 minute ago, jimbaxters said: To put this in context, I only ever watch live football on TV when Scotland are playing or.....and here's the rub...during World Cup or Euros. Work permitting I then try to see every match. This should mean I have saved up plenty of football "tickets". In a ray of sunshine moment, when talking last night about telly logistics for the upcoming Euros she ACTUALLY said that as long as I sign her into Netflix on her laptop (because that's my job apparently) then the T.V. is all mine. Oh how I wish I had taped it because I am convinced I will sequel this post at some point this weekend with a story of the collapse of said agreement. They are quite selfish at times IMO. Would go nuts if you tried to interfere with them watching Greys Anatomy or whatever. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Thorongil said: They are quite selfish at times IMO. Would go nuts if you tried to interfere with them watching Greys Anatomy or whatever. Grey's Anatomy is one of hers as well. One operation per episode and the other 50 minutes being nervous breakdowns, break ups, getting back togethers, alcoholics and the word "vagina" banded about like it's going out of fashion. Much like in here tbh. Edited June 8, 2021 by jimbaxters 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 6 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: Grey's Anatomy is one of hers as well. One operation per episode and the other 50 minutes being nervous breakdowns, break ups, getting back togethers, alcoholics and the word "vagina" banded about like it's going out of fashion. Much like in here tbh. Never seen it. Must tune in. Any pics of the much bandied vagina? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Never seen it. Must tune in. Any pics of the much bandied vagina? No you never see any and wouldn't want to. It's either women with a tumour hanging out of it, water breaking or lesbians talking about their own and each others. Spoiler I hear it in the background. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 5 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: women with a tumour hanging out of it 6 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: water breaking 6 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: lesbians talking about their own and each others. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 39 minutes ago, Thorongil said: They are quite selfish at times IMO. Would go nuts if you tried to interfere with them watching Greys Anatomy or whatever. Grey's Anatomy is quality television and I will not hear a word to the contrary. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 "I've found a chest of drawers on gumtree, can you get them for me please??" Aye, thanks for letting me know they were at a top floor tenement... 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 1 hour ago, philpy said: "I've found a chest of drawers on gumtree, can you get them for me please??" Aye, thanks for letting me know they were at a top floor tenement... 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 4 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 13 hours ago, philpy said: "I've found a chest of drawers on gumtree, can you get them for me please??" Aye, thanks for letting me know they were at a top floor tenement... Ftfy 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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