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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

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Pete that’s eerily similar to Mrs Mathematics putting Glasgow as the city in her address, because “bishopbriggs isn’t a city”.

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Accelerates towards red lights then brakes late. Absolutely baffling and infuriating. And insists that she doesn't. She always has.
Saturday morning we had a full blown row as she insisted that a town near our house isn't called Alexandria, it's actually called the Vale of Leven she says. On asking her why then would the town signs say "Alexandria" and explaining to her that the whole area is called the Vale of Leven and contains several towns including Alexandria as it's a valley with the river Leven in it she insisted I was wrong. Her evidence? "I've lived here for most of my life". Apparently explaining that this only makes it more incredible that she doesn't know the names of the area and gets them backwards is apparently me being unreasonable. We then went down a whole rabbit hole where she insisted that the neighbouring towns and villages are all parts of Alexandria as well despite all having their own names, that Alexandria is the whole district and the town name signs saying Alexandria are "just to tell you where you are, the town is actually called Vale of Leven". And my online map and wikipedia evidence is wrong as it can be edited. How can you not know where you live or what it's called?
To be honest i always thought Alexandria was in Egypt. Could be Vale of Egypt though.

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14 minutes ago, mathematics said:

Pete that’s eerily similar to Mrs Mathematics putting Glasgow as the city in her address, because “bishopbriggs isn’t a city”.

Anyone who does internet retail in Scotland will tell you that there are a lot of deluded people who insist they live in Glasgow or Edinburgh, despite their official address being listed as Grangemouth or Bathgate.

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To be honest i always thought Alexandria was in Egypt. Could be Vale of Egypt though.

Nah, it’s in the walking dead. His Mrs is a zombie!

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2 hours ago, mathematics said:

Pete that’s eerily similar to Mrs Mathematics putting Glasgow as the city in her address, because “bishopbriggs isn’t a city”.

I noticed a Pie and Bovril user post on Twitter the other day about Rangers fans trashing the city and him being a proud glaswegian. He's born and bred in East Dunbartonshire, specifically Bishopbriggs. Ripped my knitting so it did. But he's a thistle fan and famous VL so it's no surprise.

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So it's currently  14 degrees Celsius in Motherwell. Nearly a heatwave. The sun is streaming in the front window making the living room even warmer. The missus comes home and first thing she does is turn the heating on full bung. Not right in the feckin heid.

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Accelerates towards red lights then brakes late. Absolutely baffling and infuriating. And insists that she doesn't. She always has.
Saturday morning we had a full blown row as she insisted that a town near our house isn't called Alexandria, it's actually called the Vale of Leven she says. On asking her why then would the town signs say "Alexandria" and explaining to her that the whole area is called the Vale of Leven and contains several towns including Alexandria as it's a valley with the river Leven in it she insisted I was wrong. Her evidence? "I've lived here for most of my life". Apparently explaining that this only makes it more incredible that she doesn't know the names of the area and gets them backwards is apparently me being unreasonable. We then went down a whole rabbit hole where she insisted that the neighbouring towns and villages are all parts of Alexandria as well despite all having their own names, that Alexandria is the whole district and the town name signs saying Alexandria are "just to tell you where you are, the town is actually called Vale of Leven". And my online map and wikipedia evidence is wrong as it can be edited. How can you not know where you live or what it's called?
If she doesn't accept Google Maps or Wiki, what about OS Maps? Or is she so far down a blind alley that she's not going to accept any sort of reason?

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23 minutes ago, Archie McSquackle said:
8 hours ago, Sweet Pete said:
Accelerates towards red lights then brakes late. Absolutely baffling and infuriating. And insists that she doesn't. She always has.
Saturday morning we had a full blown row as she insisted that a town near our house isn't called Alexandria, it's actually called the Vale of Leven she says. On asking her why then would the town signs say "Alexandria" and explaining to her that the whole area is called the Vale of Leven and contains several towns including Alexandria as it's a valley with the river Leven in it she insisted I was wrong. Her evidence? "I've lived here for most of my life". Apparently explaining that this only makes it more incredible that she doesn't know the names of the area and gets them backwards is apparently me being unreasonable. We then went down a whole rabbit hole where she insisted that the neighbouring towns and villages are all parts of Alexandria as well despite all having their own names, that Alexandria is the whole district and the town name signs saying Alexandria are "just to tell you where you are, the town is actually called Vale of Leven". And my online map and wikipedia evidence is wrong as it can be edited. How can you not know where you live or what it's called?

If she doesn't accept Google Maps or Wiki, what about OS Maps? Or is she so far down a blind alley that she's not going to accept any sort of reason?

My wife has been beyond reason for years

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She's currently sitting watching TikTok on full volume while I'm trying to watch the football. Ok, the football is in Gaelic so it's not too important that I can hear it, but it's not the point.

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9 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said:

My wife has been beyond reason for years

Have you given much consideration to slipping into a pair of comedically large Doc Martens, taking a 40 yard run up and absolutely thunderhoofing her in the pie like your life depended on it?

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5 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Have you given much consideration to slipping into a pair of comedically large Doc Martens, taking a 40 yard run up and absolutely thunderhoofing her in the pie like your life depended on it?

Mathematics wears Doc Martens, but his wee size 3s wouldn't work.

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2 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said:

Mathematics wears Doc Martens, but his wee size 3s wouldn't work.

You get him and his Mrs involved if the pie hoofing is ineffective. At that point, she is beyond saving and ought to be patio'd

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Just now, Bairnardo said:

You get him and his Mrs involved if the pie hoofing is ineffective. At that point, she is beyond saving and ought to be patio'd

More than likely the two goth hoors would team up.

Edit: 3 goth hoors. Mathematics as well.

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7 hours ago, Sweet Pete said:

Alexandria. She basically thinks everything west of Dumbarton is Alexandria until you hit Balloch. Renton? That's Alexandria.

I've asked mine this question because shes from reasonably near there (Killearn). Apparently it's all Balloch. Must be a thing that none of them know what the f**k a town is.

ETA: I know Killearn isnt that near these places but when you're from North everything south of Perth is nearby. 

Edited by CountyFan

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28 minutes ago, CountyFan said:

I've asked mine this question because shes from reasonably near there (Killearn). Apparently it's all Balloch. Must be a thing that none of them know what the f**k a town is.

ETA: I know Killearn isnt that near these places but when you're from North everything south of Perth is nearby. 

My da is from Tain so everything north of Perth is Tain to me. And the north west doesn't exist.

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20 hours ago, Sweet Pete said:

Accelerates towards red lights then brakes late. Absolutely baffling and infuriating. And insists that she doesn't. She always has.

Saturday morning we had a full blown row as she insisted that a town near our house isn't called Alexandria, it's actually called the Vale of Leven she says. On asking her why then would the town signs say "Alexandria" and explaining to her that the whole area is called the Vale of Leven and contains several towns including Alexandria as it's a valley with the river Leven in it she insisted I was wrong. Her evidence? "I've lived here for most of my life". Apparently explaining that this only makes it more incredible that she doesn't know the names of the area and gets them backwards is apparently me being unreasonable. We then went down a whole rabbit hole where she insisted that the neighbouring towns and villages are all parts of Alexandria as well despite all having their own names, that Alexandria is the whole district and the town name signs saying Alexandria are "just to tell you where you are, the town is actually called Vale of Leven". And my online map and wikipedia evidence is wrong as it can be edited. How can you not know where you live or what it's called?

That's jeelyeaters for you.  Show her @Craig the Hunter's profile, it'll blow her mind.

image.png.f07be5330dfad5762cde14a6ac02aa4f.png

17 hours ago, PWL said:

Not very exciting but in keeping with the VoL/Alexandria/VoLH mix ups  - my brother was once interviewed by German customs coming into Munich from Saudi due to having his birthplace as Alexandria.  Thankfully, his German is impeccable so was able to explain that it was Alexandria in the 'Vale rather than Egypt. 

My Dad's work were once doing business with an Egyptian firms.  The Egyptians sent a rep across, who attended the relevant meetings onsite, but just hung about needlessly otherwise.  They sent him down to my Dad's office to pass the time "As he was born in Alexandria".

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5 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said:

That's jeelyeaters for you.  Show her @Craig the Hunter's profile, it'll blow her mind.

image.png.f07be5330dfad5762cde14a6ac02aa4f.png

My Dad's work were once doing business with an Egyptian firms.  The Egyptians sent a rep across, who attended the relevant meetings onsite, but just hung about needlessly otherwise.  They sent him down to my Dad's office to pass the time "As he was born in Alexandria".

I actually think that would (in her mind) confirm her as correct. If she thinks the district is called Alexandria and the town called the Vale of Leven her rationale would be "they called the team after the town" rather than the team having been named after the district, as it actually was. I'm not letting this go. I'm going to order some maps online and leave them dotted around the house conveniently open on the Vale. Knowing her as I do though, it'll all be my fault.

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