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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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She had her friend round for coffee at the weekend ( while I was pottering about in the background) and they were babbling about how difficult it is to know what to buy for everyone.

They were saying men were especially difficult. I said I can’t believe that as most men couldn’t give a flying f**k what they get, if anything.

They then both said “I know, but thats what makes it so difficult”

Eh?

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On hints I have become terrified of accidentally doing this. I've had a few christmases and birthdays where in April or something I'll have said "I have a somewhat positive opinion about swans", instantly forgotten about it and then come Christmas day I'll open a parcel that's 3 books about swans and a jumper with swans on it and a CD of calls of the world's swans plus a sponsored swan in a swan sancuary in Azerbaijan.
 
Sure there is a poster on here that has had this problem with penguins or something dont recall who though.
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5 minutes ago, Empty It said:
5 hours ago, MixuFruit said:
On hints I have become terrified of accidentally doing this. I've had a few christmases and birthdays where in April or something I'll have said "I have a somewhat positive opinion about swans", instantly forgotten about it and then come Christmas day I'll open a parcel that's 3 books about swans and a jumper with swans on it and a CD of calls of the world's swans plus a sponsored swan in a swan sancuary in Azerbaijan.
 

Sure there is a poster on here that has had this problem with penguins or something dont recall who though.

Bairnardo again. They tower over him.

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She took a cake through on a plate to sit and watch something on the TV. I went through to find her sitting with the plate on the sofa, whilst sitting eating the cake over the carpet, dropping crumbs everywhere. 

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12 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

What Mixu says happened to me with Star Wars in recent years. Show a tiny bit of interest in a film, end up with star wars socks, keyrings, BBQ tongs and aprons among other nonsense

Yip. Downloaded the Crash Bandicoot remake series for a bit of nostalgia, about two weeks later she handed me a multipack of Crash Bandicoot socks (which would fit a kangaroo btw) and matching boxer shorts. 

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Yip. Downloaded the Crash Bandicoot remake series for a bit of nostalgia, about two weeks later she handed me a multipack of Crash Bandicoot socks (which would fit a kangaroo btw) and matching boxer shorts. 



My girlfriend really wanted to play it, told her it was a lot harder that the N.Sane Trilogy. She laughed.

She died 50 times on level 3 and proclaimed it was a “stupid fucking game.”
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38 minutes ago, mizfit said:

 

 


My girlfriend really wanted to play it, told her it was a lot harder that the N.Sane Trilogy. She laughed.

She died 50 times on level 3 and proclaimed it was a “stupid fucking game.”

 

 

You should buy her some socks to remind her of this misery.

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On 01/12/2020 at 08:58, Elric said:

My solution is £100 next voucher, Litre of Bacardi and a book or dvd.

That would suit me tbh. Especially if you changed the Bacardi to Stolichnaya. I'm not too bothered about the Next voucher, so you can get yourself something with the £100.

When it comes to Christmas though, Mrs Shotgun and I are at the point of life where we already have more stuff than we need. Buying something in the hopes the other will like it usually ends with it just sitting unused. Instead, our conversation is along the lines of "Would you like to see what you bought me for Christmas?" This year she bought me a new (to me) camera tripod off eBay. Should be here on Friday.

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I’ve no idea what it means. Piano Noentry trump wheelchair?
Hows the bonce? 

They took the staples out and said it looks like it’s healed well.

Has some lingering concussion issues but been fine for at least a week now.

Thanks
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Testify!
I spent years calmly arguing against her mad ideas, being called negative and miserable etc. The situation always resolved itself when someone else would make the same points as me. Suddenly it all made sense. End of mad idea. 
Now I just miss out the calm arguing phase and let some random in the queue at Morrisons do the work for me.

Fkn this.

Getting new kitchen blinds:
Me - what about the orange ones?
Her - nah

Later:
Her Da - that orange is nice
Her - think we’ll get the orange ones
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7 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

Her: What do you, the person I spend most of my time with think about this thing I'm doing?

Me: I think it's good. Well done. You should be pleased you're doing thing.

Her: Ah, but what about the thoughts of this stranger I have never met, do not know, never will know, that just walked past the house?

Pinky up the bum?

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10 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

Her: What do you, the person I spend most of my time with think about this thing I'm doing?

Me: I think it's good. Well done. You should be pleased you're doing thing.

Her: Ah, but what about the thoughts of this stranger I have never met, do not know, never will know, that just walked past the house?

Tell her to stop reading Herman Hesse.

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