Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Florentine_Pogen]

On 29/10/2020 at 19:12, Shotgun said:

Her: What's the name of the guy who was in that film?
Me: What film?
Her: That wolf thing.
Me: ...Bela Lugosi...?
Her: Yeah, that's him.

^^^ The Pogen household methodology, developed over almost 25 years of antipathy.

[Donathan]

It has recently come to my attention that my girlfriend spends some of her free time watching videos of other people playing video games on YouTube


Is a boot in the pie warranted?

[UsedToGoToCentralPark]

It has recently come to my attention that my girlfriend spends some of her free time watching videos of other people playing video games on YouTube [emoji2955]


Is a boot in the pie warranted?

Nope, far better than watching Strictly and all that rubbish.

[Jack Burton]

My wife is ridiculously scatter brained.

 

A few weeks back she asked for a hand out to the car with our 2 year old daughter and a few bags as I would be back in the house in minutes I didn't bother taking anything with me. I put the bags in the car and went to get the bin out from the side of the house . In the meantime my wife had finished strapping our daughter in and drove off. I went to try the front door only to find it locked. Thankfully one of her pals is the next street over so had walk round there and get them to phone her. The wife turned up at the house 10 mins later heehawing and laughing her head off.

 

She got the dates wrong for us going pumpkin picking. We were all up and ready early doors only for her to realise it was the following week.

 

The best one was tonight. I dropped her off at the Botanic Gardens for Glasglow only to arrive back home and see missed calls and texts from her. She had got the date wrong again. I drove straight back in to pick them up and on the way home she was saying she didn't know how she had booked the tickets for Mon 28th Oct rather than tonight. When I pointed out the 28th wasn't a Monday she checked again and realised she had shown them last year's tickets.

 

 

[Dee Man]

1 hour ago, Donathan said:

It has recently come to my attention that my girlfriend spends some of her free time watching videos of other people playing video games on YouTube


Is a boot in the pie warranted?

Yes. 

[philpy]

I've been awake for the last half hour, as she decided to wake me up in a panic because she can't remember bringing her make up bag which also had her jewellery in it, home from our weekend break. I suggested it may be in her rucksack, as its the last thing she lifted. It's not in there, she says. I look straight away, and lo and behold, it's in the fucking rucksack. 

[Empty It]

I've been awake for the last half hour, as she decided to wake me up in a panic because she can't remember bringing her make up bag which also had her jewellery in it, home from our weekend break. I suggested it may be in her rucksack, as its the last thing she lifted. It's not in there, she says. I look straight away, and lo and behold, it's in the fucking rucksack. 

Mines actually just skips looking now because I'm "better at finding stuff".

[BFTD]

15 minutes ago, Empty It said:

Mines actually just skips looking now because I'm "better at finding stuff".

That...that infuriated me and it's just as well we never had the room/money for building a patio.

I've watched the wife walk in to a room, do a quick 180° turn, then claim to have "searched" for the thing she's looking for. Apparently me doing the exact same thing was unacceptable, though. It was bad enough when it was something I didn't have to give a shit about, but when it's something important that she's lost, that behaviour has you reaching for the strangling gloves. The worst part was that the wean picked it up as an acceptable life strategy for a while, before having to learn the harsh lesson that he has no possessions that I care enough about to find for him.

[Raithie]

On the topic of woman 'looking for things they can't find' mines does much the same that's been posted above. I'm a bit of a tidy freak so like to put things away in their own place rather than have needless things scattered all about the house. Some of this stuff will be my wives but I'd never deliberately put things in places she wouldn't find (as fun as that would be). So an example from yesterday - make up - she's finished getting ready for work and rathar than put all her shit away she decided to leave all her make up on the bed because, as we all know, woman can't seem to get up and ready in enough time to tidy up after themselves. So being the kind gentleman I'am I put it in her make up bag and then put it in her bed side table drawers that are also filled with various other make up/womany related things (no nothing naughty I'm afraid). This resulted in a bit of a freaky this morning...

Her: "where's my makeup, I left it right here!!!" (I should note when she says 'here' she's actually in a completely different room at this point to where she had done her make up the previous day so f**k knows what she's talking about)

Me: "you never left it 'here', you left it on the bed in the bedroom, I put it in your bedside drawers"

Her: "well it's not there, where is my *insert random make up product*?".

Me: "I'm assuming in your make up drawer, have you checked?".

Her: "YES!!! where have you put it!!!"

Me: *heading towards the drawer* "I put it... *opens drawer to find said product immediately*.....in fucking here, see!!!"

Her: "oh, I could have sworn I looked in there."

[Dee Man]

I wonder if anyone else reads this and finds that they appear to share quite a lot of traits with the stupid wives and the roles seem to be reversed. 

I say this because I can never find shit but the wife seems to know where most stuff is without even having to get off her arse. 

[deej]

Today is bin day. They usually get collected around 8am, she left about 8.20. Just before leaving, stuck her head back in the door and shouted up "that's the bins been collected". 

 

Apparently she thinks they bring themselves back in, which makes sense, because she thinks they put themselves out as well. 

[philpy]

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Further sink woes. 

Pours out the excess coffee (Indian monsoon malabar) from the cafetière  (DeLonghi) and leaves the coffee juice in the sink resulting in a brown stained sink,

 

[19QOS19]

I wonder if anyone else reads this and finds that they appear to share quite a lot of traits with the stupid wives and the roles seem to be reversed. 
I say this because I can never find shit but the wife seems to know where most stuff is without even having to get off her arse. 

My Mrs would have more in common with the stories in here than me. I'm not a slob but I'm untidy whereas she definitely has OCD so it's me who drives her nuts.

I wouldn't mind her OCD if she just did what she had to do, it's the accompanying passive aggressive commentary that grinds on me: "oh look, that was sitting there yesterday, I suppose I'll have to move it", "I'll empty the dishwasher because it won't do itself". When I do chip in with the housework, I do it wrong. You really can't win.

For those of you who live with slobs; cherish them. Cherish them dearly.

[Sergeant Wilson]

4 hours ago, Raithie said:

 bedside drawers

 

Mine's just wears the same pair all day.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

28 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

Mine's just wears the same pair all day.

On her head doesnt count.

[coprolite]

4 hours ago, Dee Man said:

I wonder if anyone else reads this and finds that they appear to share quite a lot of traits with the stupid wives and the roles seem to be reversed. 

I say this because I can never find shit but the wife seems to know where most stuff is without even having to get off her arse. 

Certainly where the complaints are about tidyness or cleanliness. I have no trouble following the plot of a film or leaving on time though. 

[BFTD]

5 hours ago, Dee Man said:

I wonder if anyone else reads this and finds that they appear to share quite a lot of traits with the stupid wives and the roles seem to be reversed. 

I say this because I can never find shit but the wife seems to know where most stuff is without even having to get off her arse. 

She's clearly hiding your stuff and gaslighting you about it. There will be support groups in your local area that you can contact.

Also, do you actually look for your stuff? If so, that's OK; your brain is maybe just shit at recognising items in an unfamiliar setting, or busy background. We're complaining about the folk who decide that other people exist to find things for them, and make no real effort to do it for themselves. They're almost as bad as the c***s who will "try" to lift a heavy object with you, use two fingers and no effort, then attempt to drop it at a time that hurts you in order to make sure you never ask them again. Bonus points on the cuntometer if it's their object you're lifting.

[Theroadlesstravelled]

Anytime I say I have an ailment she suddenly always has something worst when are zero symptoms.

Me- I have a bit of a headache.

Her- I have a migraine.

 

Me- I have a bit of hay fever.

Her- I have a sinus infection.

[welshbairn]

15 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

She's clearly hiding your stuff and gaslighting you about it. There will be support groups in your local area that you can contact.

Also, do you actually look for your stuff? If so, that's OK; your brain is maybe just shit at recognising items in an unfamiliar setting, or busy background. We're complaining about the folk who decide that other people exist to find things for them, and make no real effort to do it for themselves. They're almost as bad as the c***s who will "try" to lift a heavy object with you, use two fingers and no effort, then attempt to drop it at a time that hurts you in order to make sure you never ask them again. Bonus points on the cuntometer if it's their object you're lifting.

People who've been on a safe lifting class whose work usually involves no more than a pack of A4 copier paper, and think their certificate gives them super powers. Had a friend round to help me move a ton of books down the stairs from a 3rd floor flat. Had them in big boxes designed for a 2 man lift which he ignored against my instructions, did his back in the first one so sat on the sofa with a cup of tea while I had to lump them all myself. Also, c***s who pack big boxes full of books.