The Naitch Posted September 30, 2020 Share Posted September 30, 2020 This it ?Wagner from X Factor is looking is age. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RabidAI Posted September 30, 2020 Share Posted September 30, 2020 7 hours ago, anonanist said: My most recent partner gave me a 'Chinese burn'. On my knob. With her teeth. Gonnae no dae that! In fairness to her, I hadn't recently trimmed my finger nails - which had resulted in me accidentally cutting her in a very sensitive place. She described the experience as like "losing my virginity over again". That was 8 (eight) years ago. After which I gave up on the whole relationship thing. I can better that. The following is a completely true confession... ...my one and only shag was in January 2001 when my girlfriend took pity on my bungled attempts at, eh, 'lovemaking' and went cowgirl for the duration. Bless her. Sadly, we broke up soon afterwards. Half a dozen other failed attempts with various ladies, and I gave up - for good. Sorry for the overshare. What always amazes me is how all animals know automatically how to do it, and what goes where, and at which angle. Humans seem to know, too; but not me. Must be why I take out my frustrations on here! Or did, anyway: don't think I'll be back, somehow. Oh, is that the time? I'll get my coat... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutz_the_Squirrel Posted September 30, 2020 Share Posted September 30, 2020 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted September 30, 2020 Share Posted September 30, 2020 On 20/09/2020 at 15:17, St-ow! said: The most infuriating thing my partner does is, whenever I'm Zooming some important meeting with senior colleagues, she parades around just out of picture just in one of her sheer bodystockings, sometimes red or fishnet. I wish she would not do that. On 20/09/2020 at 15:21, Oldster said: Aye right, Celibert, you wish. Go back to palming at porn. On 25/09/2020 at 13:23, Oldster said: Sir! There's a bit more to it than that. They're more devious than us for a start. Not many will contest that. And since you insist on being rude there's the acronym Cuga to remember for their erogenous zones - Clitoris Urethral opening (u-shape of sensitive tissue) G-spot Anterior fornix erogenous zone So not the same as us in mind or body. Now behave yourself! On 25/09/2020 at 09:44, anonanist said: Exactly. They're just the same as us, except they look amazing in hold-ups and open-crotch bodysuits. And we definitely don't. I hope. Oh dear! 3 hours ago, RabidAI said: I can better that. The following is a completely true confession... ...my one and only shag was in January 2001 when my girlfriend took pity on my bungled attempts at, eh, 'lovemaking' and went cowgirl for the duration. Bless her. Sadly, we broke up soon afterwards. Half a dozen other failed attempts with various ladies, and I gave up - for good. Sorry for the overshare. What always amazes me is how all animals know automatically how to do it, and what goes where, and at which angle. Humans seem to know, too; but not me. Must be why I take out my frustrations on here! Or did, anyway: don't think I'll be back, somehow. Oh, is that the time? I'll get my coat... Did PB short circuit after being banned the last time and make three new accounts? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 30, 2020 Share Posted September 30, 2020 Didn’t realise Moira was Chinese. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 30, 2020 Share Posted September 30, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, RabidAI said: I can better that. The following is a completely true confession... ...my one and only shag was in January 2001 when my girlfriend took pity on my bungled attempts at, eh, 'lovemaking' and went cowgirl for the duration. Bless her. Sadly, we broke up soon afterwards. Half a dozen other failed attempts with various ladies, and I gave up - for good. Sorry for the overshare. What always amazes me is how all animals know automatically how to do it, and what goes where, and at which angle. Humans seem to know, too; but not me. Must be why I take out my frustrations on here! Or did, anyway: don't think I'll be back, somehow. Oh, is that the time? I'll get my coat... Hopefully this revelation will be and end to his continuous league reconstruction input. It certainly explains it. Edited September 30, 2020 by Sergeant Wilson 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 20 hours ago, RabidAI said: I can better that. The following is a completely true confession... ...my one and only shag was in January 2001 when my girlfriend took pity on my bungled attempts at, eh, 'lovemaking' and went cowgirl for the duration. Bless her. Sadly, we broke up soon afterwards. Half a dozen other failed attempts with various ladies, and I gave up - for good. Sorry for the overshare. What always amazes me is how all animals know automatically how to do it, and what goes where, and at which angle. Humans seem to know, too; but not me. Must be why I take out my frustrations on here! Or did, anyway: don't think I'll be back, somehow. Oh, is that the time? I'll get my coat... I am not sure how you can fail. I feel kinda sorry for you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 Mrs Par and Par Jr now have daily fall-outs over identity. Par Jr has friends who don't identify as girls or boys, so are "they". This confuses the easily confused Mrs Par no end. One of them usually ends in tears and telling the other to F off. I just keep well out of it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 4 minutes ago, Shandön Par said: Mrs Par and Par Jr now have daily fall-outs over identity. Par Jr has friends who don't identify as girls or boys, so are "they". This confuses the easily confused Mrs Par no end. One of them usually ends in tears and telling the other to F off. I just keep well out of it. You're married to JK Rowling? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 7 minutes ago, 101 said: You're married to JK Rowling? Mrs Par gets confused by what is the sun and what is the moon but doesn't have a bad bone in her body. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 Mrs Par gets confused by what is the sun and what is the moon but doesn't have a bad bone in her body. She will later on [emoji2958] 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 2 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: She will later on Well done! Tap in for you. I won't be home until about 10 so fire away. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 Doesn’t dip bread in soup. Rips a bit off. Puts into the soup. Dunks it about a bit with spoon. Once it becomes a small pillow of mush, scoops it up with spoon and eats. Boak. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 1 minute ago, carpetmonster said: Doesn’t dip bread in soup. Rips a bit off. Puts into the soup. Dunks it about a bit with spoon. Once it becomes a small pillow of mush, scoops it up with spoon and eats. Boak. Reminds me of how i used to eat soup as a young child. Basically the same but with two slices of bread ripped and added at the same time to absorb all the soup. When i'm old i think I'll do that again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 We moved into this house one year ago. This morning she asked where the light switch in the hall cupboard is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 20 minutes ago, coprolite said: Reminds me of how i used to eat soup as a young child. Basically the same but with two slices of bread ripped and added at the same time to absorb all the soup. When i'm old i think I'll do that again. God bless you for that last sentence. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 Decides she wants to have something noisy as f**k to eat, Just as I'm trying to watch something on the telly. Usually crunchy mint sweets. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 Just prior to leaving the house for a night out..."Do you think I will need my glasses?"WTF 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academically Deficient Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 5 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Just prior to leaving the house for a night out... "Do you think I will need my glasses?" WTF A slight variant on this in our house: <already running late btw> "What should I wear, these shoes or the black ones?" Me: these ones "Hmmm, not sure" Eventually changes into black shoes and is ready to go. Now 20 minutes late. Of course, if the black ones hurt her feet and spoil her night out, it's my fault for not insisting on the other ones. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 A slight variant on this in our house: "What should I wear, these shoes or the black ones?" Me: these ones "Hmmm, not sure" Eventually changes into black shoes and is ready to go. Now 20 minutes late. Of course, if the black ones hurt her feet and spoil her night out, it's my fault for not insisting on the other ones.At least you can reasonably have an input on that. How the f**k would I know if she needs her glasses 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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