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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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Telling me every painstaking detail about her day at work, and getting annoyed that I don't remember some random colleague that's she's told me about before or what they did to annoy her on January 20th, 2011 at 2.08pm.

I get maybe wanting to say about the odd thing that has happened every now and again, but generally the last thing I want to spend my spare time doing after a day at work, is listening to a play by play recital of a different work day. 

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1 hour ago, hellbhoy said:

The wife can recite the year, the month, the day and even the hour of all the incriminating shit I've apparently done including things I don't even remember, mostly because I was pissed at the time and I'm sure she has embellished some events as well just to make it look far worse. :lol:

She phoned my moby once as I was reaching the front door on a night out with the boys and I duly ignored it knowing I was getting an earful for being late home. It went to voice messaging and she was so pissed off she forgot to end the call and went onto record not only her venom because I was late but also the following conversation we had when I had returned. I took a lot of shit the next day about what I was apparently like when I got home the night before. Later that day I noticed there was a voice-mail and had documented my return from the night out and showed that it was her that was being unreasonable as hell while I was trying to be as apologetic as possible. Her red face of embarrassment was a delight because the voice message on playback proved that she was being a c**t of the highest magnitude. :wub:

Canny fathom this 

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I just remembered this.

She has her own place whereas I still stay with my parents, we've discussed moving in but decided to hold out until after Christmas before I move in.

However, her bedroom is a fucking tip permanently. Literally all her clothes are constantly lying around the place. I've pulled her up on it numerous times but all she says is she'll tidy when I move in.

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Asking me to call her on my lunch break, so I do, and she has absolutely nothing of note to say. Sometimes she just wants me to make the conversation, but I wasn't the one who asked for it so I don't even know how to steer it.

The poster who mentioned the need to details dreams - spot on. Another thing I just do not care about.

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2 minutes ago, itzdrk said:

Canny fathom this 

I don't know it made perfect sense when I posted it? Maybe could have phrased it better, but I was typing it under the missus radar while she was trying to be nosy. I'll be in big trouble if she ever finds the last few posts. :lol:

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Asking me to call her on my lunch break, so I do, and she has absolutely nothing of note to say. Sometimes she just wants me to make the conversation, but I wasn't the one who asked for it so I don't even know how to steer it.

The poster who mentioned the need to details dreams - spot on. Another thing I just do not care about.


My missus doesn't phone, she facetimes constantly.
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My missus doesn't phone, she facetimes constantly.

FaceTime I just about prefer, although my girlfriend doesn't do that. Don't know exactly how to phrase it but I guess you can banter a lot more freely when you can see someone's face. A phone call is often just exchanging pleasantries if neither of you have something worthwhile to say. Which I find a bit pointless...
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1 minute ago, Alex_14 said:

Asking me to call her on my lunch break, so I do, and she has absolutely nothing of note to say. Sometimes she just wants me to make the conversation, but I wasn't the one who asked for it so I don't even know how to steer it.

The poster who mentioned the need to details dreams - spot on. Another thing I just do not care about.

The awkward silence eh? Almost as bad as the "you put the phone down first" :lol:

Give her a dirty phone call next time you call her at lunch.

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The wife can recite the year, the month, the day and even the hour of all the incriminating shit I've apparently done including things I don't even remember, mostly because I was pissed at the time and I'm sure she has embellished some events as well just to make it look far worse. :lol:
She phoned my moby once as I was reaching the front door on a night out with the boys and I duly ignored it knowing I was getting an earful for being late home. It went to voice messaging and she was so pissed off she forgot to end the call and went onto record not only her venom because I was late but also the following conversation we had when I had returned. I took a lot of shit the next day about what I was apparently like when I got home the night before. Later that day I noticed there was a voice-mail and had documented my return from the night out and showed that it was her that was being unreasonable as hell while I was trying to be as apologetic as possible. Her red face of embarrassment was a delight because the voice message on playback proved that she was being a c**t of the highest magnitude. :wub:


One day on the way home in the car with my mate we got onto a wee bit of bitching about our other halfs. Luckily neither of us were at Clymadia Kid levels of being a dick so we had nothing to talk about like that but I was basically calling my missus lazy, crabbit etc.

Anyway about 5 mins from home I got a text from her saying next time I want to spend time moaning about her to my mate I might want to check I hadn't pocket dialled her.

Was a frosty reception when we arrived as you can imagine.
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Just now, Dindeleux said:

 


One day on the way home in the car with my mate we got onto a wee bit of bitching about our other halfs. Luckily neither of us were at Clymadia Kid levels of being a dick so we had nothing to talk about like that but I was basically calling my missus lazy, crabbit etc.

Anyway about 5 mins from home I got a text from her saying next time I want to spend time moaning about her to my mate I might want to check I hadn't pocket dialled her.

Was a frosty reception when we arrived as you can imagine.

 

Sore yin. :lol:

My wife often forgets to properly press the end call button. :wub: Years ago I heard her bitching to her friends about how much better a husband I could be after phoning me to do shit before she gets home. So I decided to out manoeuvre her and did all and more what she was bitching about for me to do, I even got rid of the daughters and made a candle lit dinner for two. She asked what was I doing or after and more importantly what did I f**k up completely to warrant the attention. Told her to sit down and be wined and dined. Only later did I tell her why in a sarcastic manner and said "It'd be nice to hear you say nice things about me to your friends the next time you screw up by not pressing the end call button like you did earlier on today".

She said "You heard everything then?"

I replied "Yes everything including our marital affairs in the bedroom and how Jenny's husband likes kinky sex in Jenny's undies and Frank's wife's inventive use of her pinky when he climaxes and I'll not even mention dirty Harriet's exploits at the weekend when pished". She blushed and then went all sheepish and quiet for a few days. :lol:

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I remember my sister phoned the landline one Friday night and my parents answered it, they had a chat about normal stuff then ended the call, I think she was about 16/17 (mobiles had probably just really started to become popular because I'm going back about 18 years now) and was drinking. Anyway a bit of time later my dad picked the phone up and because she hadn't hung up at her end it was still connected and we found this very funny as me, him and my mum started listening to the conversation.

 

Wasn't so funny when within a couple of seconds we realised that her and all her friends were talking about giving blowjobs etc and the phone was swiftly hung back up. Will never forget my mums face.

 

 

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Dirty Harriet sounds like a remake I could be down with, despite the absence of Clint Eastwood. More information required before I commit, however.

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16 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Dirty Harriet sounds like a remake I could be down with, despite the absence of Clint Eastwood. More information required before I commit, however.

The wife did laugh at the Clint Eastwood innuendos afterwards.

Dirty Harriet pished doesn't care if they are good, bad or ugly especially if it her only chance for one nighter. She does like to suck on a Magnum but is not fussy if it's a pee shooter as long as it can be cocked before the trigger is pulled and even better if it can be reloaded. She is every which way but she is loose and any which way you can. It doesn't need to be a fistful of dollars as long as it's a fistful of something. You see where I'm going don't you? :rolleyes:

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Agree to quite alot or the annoyances. Sockets, phonecalls, directions whilst driving are definitely up there.

Anybody else get a shopping list from the other half when they are unable to go and its in hee haw sense of order and asks for really daft things?
Eg tomatoes, orange juice, loo rolls, bananas , crisps, apples, quark ... all over the place for those and throw in quark. What the hell is quark you ask.
Exactly

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I had never heard of quark until we started eating slimming world recipes, it is a form of light yoghurt. The first time I had seen it in a recipe a couple of years ago we couldn't find it in the supermarkets but it's certainly more popular now.

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My wife sends some curiously structured texts, as we all do from time to time. I try to explain to her that others may not understand what the f*ck she is on about. But a text this morning has taken the biscuit, regarding the time my son woke up:

Me: When did he wake up?

Her: Bout 20 2 7

Never seen her display a time in that format, nor have I observed anyone else do that either.

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I had never heard of quark until we started eating slimming world recipes, it is a form of light yoghurt. The first time I had seen it in a recipe a couple of years ago we couldn't find it in the supermarkets but it's certainly more popular now.


How much have you both lost so far?

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How much have you both lost so far?

 

 

We have done slimming world recipes on and off for years we aren't on any sort of diet just now. Her fat mother gives us the recipe books. I have lost 9 pounds since I started working tho.

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9 hours ago, hellbhoy said:

I don't know it made perfect sense when I posted it? Maybe could have phrased it better, but I was typing it under the missus radar while she was trying to be nosy. I'll be in big trouble if she ever finds the last few posts. :lol:

It reads fine, I just couldn't myself fathom having a curfew as an adult.  

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