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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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6 hours ago, Ron Aldo said:

So far during lockdown she's ordered numerous pieces of decorative crap for the house (pictures, cushion covers, lamps etc). She's also decorated the bathroom and we had a patio put in at the end of last month which cost a small fortune. She's now suggested getting a hot tub put in the back garden which I've rejected given the cost and the fact that it'll get used about twice a year.

In the course of this "discussion" she commented that I don't appreciate how much she spends on the house. I don't appreciate what she spends as half of it is mine and 90% of what she buys is stuff I don't want!

I hate cushion, throws and unnecessary clutter around the house. As little furniture as a can get away with. I’m tempted to bin the footstool that came with the sofas!

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6 hours ago, MONKMAN said:

Announces out of the blue, the other day, that she’s going to start her PHD. Conversation went along the lines of...

Her “So I’ve decided I’m going to do my PHD, got a video call with (insert random woman’s name) next Monday about it”
Me “that’s good, that’ll be a fair bit of work. Just remember we’ve got quite a lot on towards the end of this year and next. Make sure you’re not taking on too much”
This is because she’s one of these weirdos who enjoys working and always takes on more than necessary, or what she’s paid to do.
This was me sort of hinting at the fact we just got engaged at the start of the year, so got a wedding to arrange, as well as a couple of holidays booked next year etc

Her “yeah, I’m going to drop a day at work, maybe a day and a half, so that’ll give me plenty of time to concentrate on it”
Me - half jokingly “you’ll need to cut back on half the shite you waste money on and rethink the holidays for the next year or two”

At this point, I’d like to point out that she has a fairly well paid full time job in education within the NHS, as well as 8 hours a week as a university tutor.

Without even thinking about it, straight away she just turned and replied
“Why don’t you just try and do a bit of overtime every month and make up my wage”

The conversation stopped there.

Bin her.  Not for what she’s doing, for starting a conversation with “so”. 

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On 17/07/2020 at 09:06, coprolite said:

1- how can you wait until the end of the film before googling the cast? That's unnatural. 

2- Why is the shower on if you're not in it? 

3- don't you lock the door when you're shitting? 

Maybe your lady friend has a german style fetish and wanted to watch you doing a jobby. 

Yes, I know.

So it's ready for me when I want to go in.

Nae lock on the door. Not long moved in really so haven't put one on yet.

On 17/07/2020 at 09:14, KnightswoodBear said:

The thought of having a shite, then jumping into the shower whilst the smell permeates around the room as you wash is giving me the boak.  Have a word.

The steam from the shower all but suppresses any such smell. Then once I've washed everything, all you can smell is my gorgeous soap.

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On 17/07/2020 at 09:39, Honest_Man#1 said:

I’m worried to ask, but last time someone on here came out with going for a shite directly before a shower, their reasoning wasn’t that they didn’t have to wipe their arse and could just go straight into the shower. I seriously hope this isn’t the same here.

Don't worry I'm not a complete cretin.

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On 17/07/2020 at 19:27, Honest_Man#1 said:

So they don’t shower when getting up in the morning unless they’ve had a shite? And after having a shite, they clean their arse by literally wiping it with their hand whilst in the shower?

Fucking hell.

Not exactly - of course they will take a shower in the evening (not the morning if no shite has passed) but in between times if they have a shite they will shower each time.  They wipe their arse after shiting with bog roll as I'm sure you do and then take a shower - they don't shite in the shower as far as I'm aware.

 

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1 hour ago, Shandon Par said:

You should buy it. Use it to drown squirrels.

13790D51-6D94-43B4-82F3-465323F0E253.jpeg

What you all need to take into consideration here is that Shandon has absolutely, 100%, no doubt at all, done the deed in here.  

More than once. 

He's selling a second hand sex bath. 

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What you all need to take into consideration here is that Shandon has absolutely, 100%, no doubt at all, done the deed in here.  
More than once. 
He's selling a second hand sex bath. 
Cant tell you 100% if Mr Par has. Mrs Par however......
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One of the regular threads about shitting brought out a few posters who take a shower after they've done the deed because they don't feel clean otherwise.

Very selfish behaviour not to come to the defence of @hk blues family in this thread IMO.

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38 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

What you all need to take into consideration here is that Shandon has absolutely, 100%, no doubt at all, done the deed in here.  

More than once. 

He's selling a second hand sex bath. 

Hosed it out afterwards tbf.

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Dunfermline take all the players that got Falkirk Into the mess they're in.
f**k only knows why?
And yet we're not the ones currently washed up in the Seaside league, hope you haven't snapped your bucket and spade in anger watching Mark Durnan.
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