mizfit Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 Since my girlfriend passed her driving test before lockdown she’s been driving my car about. Which is fine. What I do wish though, is that she’d remember and fill the car and not leave me with a flashing petrol light and less then 20 miles of petrol. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 14, 2020 Author Share Posted July 14, 2020 3 minutes ago, mizfit said: Since my girlfriend passed her driving test before lockdown she’s been driving my car about. Which is fine. What I do wish though, is that she’d remember and fill the car and not leave me with a flashing petrol light and less then 20 miles of petrol. f**k, you've just given me flashbacks. I used to discover this as I jumped into my car in the morning on my way to work. Raging. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empty It Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 Since my girlfriend passed her driving test before lockdown she’s been driving my car about. Which is fine. What I do wish though, is that she’d remember and fill the car and not leave me with a flashing petrol light and less then 20 miles of petrol. The classic, you can always tell when the car is low on fuel as she'll not drive it for about 3 days until you've been in it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 The classic, you can always tell when the car is low on fuel as she'll not drive it for about 3 days until you've been in it.Asked her last night how many miles of petrol were in it and she told me about 200. Checked this morning and it was 29. Her excuse was “I misread it.” Not sure how you can misread it by that much. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 4 minutes ago, mizfit said: Asked her last night how many miles of petrol were in it and she told me about 200. Checked this morning and it was 29. Her excuse was “I misread it.” Not sure how you can misread it by that much. Did she do the sums for Hearts' compensation claim as well? 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 Asked her last night how many miles of petrol were in it and she told me about 200. Checked this morning and it was 29. Her excuse was “I misread it.” Not sure how you can misread it by that much. Pump........ girlfriend......... etc., etc................. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empty It Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 Asked her last night how many miles of petrol were in it and she told me about 200. Checked this morning and it was 29. Her excuse was “I misread it.” Not sure how you can misread it by that much. She didn't do the numbers for the remain campaign during the referendum did she? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor1874 Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 When we sit and watch a movie, we often discuss what we recognise folk from etc. As I'm sure many people do. I also like to google the movie and check the cast, etc. Again not out of the norm. But I like to do it once the movie is over. She on the other hand, likes to do it while the film is on. So not only is she now missing bits which she'll ask me about soon, she's also interrupting my viewing pleasure by shouting 'Oh, that's him from that film. Aye, I ****ing know hen, I am watching it. The other night I went for a shower but I often like to go for a Dirk Kuyt before I jump in. Shower was on so I didn't hear anything and she comes bursting through the bathroom door asking what the parcel is that's just came. How the **** am I supposed to know? She then stands and lingers around like she's wanting a conversation. Honestly, get to ****, I'm trying to have a shite in peace. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 2 minutes ago, Connor1874 said: When we sit and watch a movie, we often discuss what we recognise folk from etc. As I'm sure many people do. I also like to google the movie and check the cast, etc. Again not out of the norm. But I like to do it once the movie is over. She on the other hand, likes to do it while the film is on. So not only is she now missing bits which she'll ask me about soon, she's also interrupting my viewing pleasure by shouting 'Oh, that's him from that film. Aye, I ****ing know hen, I am watching it. The other night I went for a shower but I often like to go for a Dirk Kuyt before I jump in. Shower was on so I didn't hear anything and she comes bursting through the bathroom door asking what the parcel is that's just came. How the **** am I supposed to know? She then stands and lingers around like she's wanting a conversation. Honestly, get to ****, I'm trying to have a shite in peace. 1- how can you wait until the end of the film before googling the cast? That's unnatural. 2- Why is the shower on if you're not in it? 3- don't you lock the door when you're shitting? Maybe your lady friend has a german style fetish and wanted to watch you doing a jobby. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 13 minutes ago, Connor1874 said: When we sit and watch a movie, we often discuss what we recognise folk from etc. As I'm sure many people do. I also like to google the movie and check the cast, etc. Again not out of the norm. But I like to do it once the movie is over. She on the other hand, likes to do it while the film is on. So not only is she now missing bits which she'll ask me about soon, she's also interrupting my viewing pleasure by shouting 'Oh, that's him from that film. Aye, I ****ing know hen, I am watching it. The other night I went for a shower but I often like to go for a Dirk Kuyt before I jump in. Shower was on so I didn't hear anything and she comes bursting through the bathroom door asking what the parcel is that's just came. How the **** am I supposed to know? She then stands and lingers around like she's wanting a conversation. Honestly, get to ****, I'm trying to have a shite in peace. The thought of having a shite, then jumping into the shower whilst the smell permeates around the room as you wash is giving me the boak. Have a word. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 21 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: The thought of having a shite, then jumping into the shower whilst the smell permeates around the room as you wash is giving me the boak. Have a word. I’m worried to ask, but last time someone on here came out with going for a shite directly before a shower, their reasoning wasn’t that they didn’t have to wipe their arse and could just go straight into the shower. I seriously hope this isn’t the same here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 Went yesterday to get everything!! for the redecoration of the house. List of carpet sizes, paint colours, wallpaper amounts etc, after a week of her online research. Four hours later, home with just a new french door handle, “at least it’s a start” she said 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 30 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: The thought of having a shite, then jumping into the shower whilst the smell permeates around the room as you wash is giving me the boak. Have a word. Don't you have a window in your bathroom? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 26 minutes ago, The Moonster said: Don't you have a window in your bathroom? I do. My point still stands though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 2 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: I do. My point still stands though. How bad are your shites? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 8 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: I do. My point still stands though. Meh, I've taken many a shite first thing in the morning, cracked the window and carried on with my shower without constantly smelling my own shite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Connor1874 said: When we sit and watch a movie, we often discuss what we recognise folk from etc. As I'm sure many people do. I also like to google the movie and check the cast, etc. Again not out of the norm. But I like to do it once the movie is over. She on the other hand, likes to do it while the film is on. So not only is she now missing bits which she'll ask me about soon, she's also interrupting my viewing pleasure by shouting 'Oh, that's him from that film. Aye, I ****ing know hen, I am watching it. I’m terrible for that. Always pausing films to look up IMDB to check where I recognise folk from. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distant Doonhamer Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 Went yesterday to get everything!! for the redecoration of the house. List of carpet sizes, paint colours, wallpaper amounts etc, after a week of her online research. Four hours later, home with just a new french door handle, “at least it’s a start” she said We made a visit to IKEA which is easily an hour away from us. Came home with some chalk and some coat hooks. Essential items clearly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve_Wilkos Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Honest_Man#1 said: I’m worried to ask, but last time someone on here came out with going for a shite directly before a shower, their reasoning wasn’t that they didn’t have to wipe their arse and could just go straight into the shower. I seriously hope this isn’t the same here. Nature's bidet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 2 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said: I’m worried to ask, but last time someone on here came out with going for a shite directly before a shower, their reasoning wasn’t that they didn’t have to wipe their arse and could just go straight into the shower. I seriously hope this isn’t the same here. My wife and son do that, but they have a shower because they've had a shite . No shite, no shower, 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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