JamesP_81 Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Have you recently shacked up with the ex-Mrs. LondonHMFC ?Not unless recently covers up to 10 years ago. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 On 14/06/2020 at 12:47, Billy Jean King said: Goes mental at the first person to pish / shite / shower after she has cleaned the bathroom (unless it's herself of course). The bathroom must remain unused for eternity after cleaning apparently. And before anyone asks yes I have ckeaned it myself umpteen times but just don't get the anger at it being used afterwards. Agreed and I shall extend the concept. When, on the same day she has cleaned the kitchen a pasta sauce or such like is cooking. Of course the initial bringing to the boil then reducing process brings about wee splashes on the hob. Aforementioned breakdown occurs ("I've just cleaned that!") then when I wipe it with the kitchen cloth ("Not with that! They were just bleached today!"). Someone square that circle please. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkmenbashi Posted June 21, 2020 Share Posted June 21, 2020 On 13/06/2020 at 21:46, Turkmenbashi said: Does anyone else here have a bird that believes in astrology? I've only been seeing her for about a month but she just sent me this to show why we are perfect together and it's weirded me out On 13/06/2020 at 21:50, Miguel Sanchez said: Bin, immediately. On 13/06/2020 at 22:08, GTG_03 said: Get out now, before it's too late. Done. But more for the reason below rather than the astrology On 13/06/2020 at 22:18, MixuFruit said: just so long as she's not a bit King Leopold-ish like this hero to zero from 2014 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted June 21, 2020 Author Share Posted June 21, 2020 13 minutes ago, Turkmenbashi said: Done. But more for the reason below rather than the astrology She shot a gazelle at the weekend? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 8 hours ago, Dee Man said: She shot a gazelle at the weekend? Worse. She wears them. He was dating, le Brogan. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Pikey Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 So been working through the lockdown but decided to do up my garden seeing we won't be holidaying anytime soon. So after two months the end is finally in sight. Slabs and decking finished , fences renewed and painted, only some artificial grass and some chips to be put down and build the hut . As I surveyed the work and took some pleasure in that it will be finished next week , the wife spouts " I'm gonna get the house decorated room by room.." Kill me now !! Women are feckin mental 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted June 22, 2020 Author Share Posted June 22, 2020 14 minutes ago, Mr Pikey said: So been working through the lockdown but decided to do up my garden seeing we won't be holidaying anytime soon. So after two months the end is finally in sight. Slabs and decking finished , fences renewed and painted, only some artificial grass and some chips to be put down and build the hut . As I surveyed the work and took some pleasure in that it will be finished next week , the wife spouts " I'm gonna get the house decorated room by room.." Kill me now !! Women are feckin mental @Rugster 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 So been working through the lockdown but decided to do up my garden seeing we won't be holidaying anytime soon. So after two months the end is finally in sight. Slabs and decking finished , fences renewed and painted, only some artificial grass and some chips to be put down and build the hut . As I surveyed the work and took some pleasure in that it will be finished next week , the wife spouts " I'm gonna get the house decorated room by room.." Kill me now !! Women are feckin mentalOn ye go hen, I'll finish the garden. Oh look it's taking longer... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted June 24, 2020 Share Posted June 24, 2020 I've just came in from work, and she's got stuff in the tumble dryer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 24, 2020 Share Posted June 24, 2020 1 minute ago, philpy said: I've just came in from work, and she's got stuff in the tumble dryer. ...? Euphemism? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted June 24, 2020 Share Posted June 24, 2020 Maybe he means on a nice day like today's (assuming the weather is as good in Scotland as it is here) the washing should be outside. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted June 24, 2020 Share Posted June 24, 2020 47 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: Maybe he means on a nice day like today's (assuming the weather is as good in Scotland as it is here) the washing should be outside. That's exactly what I was getting at. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 On 10/06/2020 at 08:49, Empty It said: The missus got a new car last night and she's hell bent on creating a problem with it. Everything we own mine does this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 (edited) What about this one... "Just to let you know that you still haven't sorted that (insert stuff that needs sorted) and I haven't said anything." Used in attempt to dispel the myth that she might be considered a nag. TBH it always makes me do the thing straight away so although it's infuriating, it is also highly effective. Edited July 9, 2020 by jimbaxters 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 9, 2020 Author Share Posted July 9, 2020 8 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: What about this one... "Just to let you know that you still haven't sorted that (insert stuff that needs sorted) and I haven't said anything." Used in attempt to dispel the myth that she might be considered a nag. TBH it always makes me do the thing straight away so although it's infuriating, it is also highly effective. Pussy whipped. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 1 minute ago, Dee Man said: Pussy whipped. See I expected to get a row for procrastinating. You have restored my faith. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 9, 2020 Author Share Posted July 9, 2020 4 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: See I expected to get a row for procrastinating. You have restored my faith. Get this on a tshirt or poster for the house... 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 Just now, Dee Man said: Get this on a tshirt or poster for the house... I shall. Added bonus is that he looks just like me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoseMarooniho Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 Plays wee shitey Facebook videos when I’m try to watch the telly 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 5 hours ago, JoseMarooniho said: Plays wee shitey Facebook videos when I’m try to watch the telly Plays, comments on and attempts to show me wee shitey Facebook videos when I'm trying to read Pie & Bovril. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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