Kneal Down Caster Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 I was in a taxi a few years ago with an elderly driver and he said him and his wife were both incredibly lonely due to the fact that they chose not to have kids when they were younger and as a result they now had no-one to visit them. So tell your mate that although he may be #winning just now, in your 60s you'll be surrounded by family while he'll be sat alone in his flat drinking himself into oblivion. You can then pretend to yourself that you are definitely in the better position while he is out pumping everything that moves. To be honest he is already drinking himself into Oblivion. I would be surprised if he makes 60 (that's not a joke). I feel a bit sorry for his parents as neither him or his sister have given them any grandkids. I suppose we can all moan but sometimes you just have to appreciate what you DO have and not what you Don't. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kneal Down Caster Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 They are like computers in that respect. Never forget a thing, not even the minutest detail! Just re boot her........... In the Pie [emoji12] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellbhoy Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 1 hour ago, bennett said: Whit are you like... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 1 hour ago, The Chlamydia Kid said: What's your point caller? Can you just chill out and stop being a dick for like 5 minutes? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Brees Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 The way she stacks the drying board when she does the dishes drives me up the fucking wall. She just lobs the dishes in any old way, meaning its like a game of Jenga putting them away. A small insignificant thing, but it really winds me up.Puts dishes in the basin without rinsing them. Bits of food floating about when your washing the dishes.Never puts stuff away in the kitchen. Knives with butter on them lying next to the toaster. Salt, vinegar, sauce etc lying on the worktop. Kitchen towel that she's used to clean lying on the worktop and not put in the bin.Bundles of clothes lying on the bed.Not putting tin foil in the baking tray when using the grill or oven.Never putting petrol in the car.Sitting talking on the phone all night when you're trying to watch the telly.Using the landline when her mobile is free.And this 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellbhoy Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 1 hour ago, WILLIEA said: They are like computers in that respect. Never forget a thing, not even the minutest detail! The wife can recite the year, the month, the day and even the hour of all the incriminating shit I've apparently done including things I don't even remember, mostly because I was pissed at the time and I'm sure she has embellished some events as well just to make it look far worse. She phoned my moby once as I was reaching the front door on a night out with the boys and I duly ignored it knowing I was getting an earful for being late home. It went to voice messaging and she was so pissed off she forgot to end the call and went onto record not only her venom because I was late but also the following conversation we had when I had returned. I took a lot of shit the next day about what I was apparently like when I got home the night before. Later that day I noticed there was a voice-mail and had documented my return from the night out and showed that it was her that was being unreasonable as hell while I was trying to be as apologetic as possible. Her red face of embarrassment was a delight because the voice message on playback proved that she was being a c**t of the highest magnitude. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellbhoy Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 1 minute ago, Drew Brees said: The way she stacks the drying board when she does the dishes drives me up the fucking wall. She just lobs the dishes in any old way, meaning its like a game of Jenga putting them away. A small insignificant thing, but it really winds me up. Puts dishes in the basin without rinsing them. Bits of food floating about when your washing the dishes. Never puts stuff away in the kitchen. Knives with butter on them lying next to the toaster. Salt, vinegar, sauce etc lying on the worktop. Kitchen towel that she's used to clean lying on the worktop and not put in the bin. Bundles of clothes lying on the bed. Not putting tin foil in the baking tray when using the grill or oven. Never putting petrol in the car. Sitting talking on the phone all night when you're trying to watch the telly. Using the landline when her mobile is free. And this The things we men have to put up with to get a shag eh? Gets worse as the years go on with less sex and more shit to cope with?, a bum deal man. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blanco Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 6 minutes ago, Drew Brees said: The way she stacks the drying board when she does the dishes drives me up the fucking wall. She just lobs the dishes in any old way, meaning its like a game of Jenga putting them away. A small insignificant thing, but it really winds me up. Puts dishes in the basin without rinsing them. Bits of food floating about when your washing the dishes. Never puts stuff away in the kitchen. Knives with butter on them lying next to the toaster. Salt, vinegar, sauce etc lying on the worktop. Kitchen towel that she's used to clean lying on the worktop and not put in the bin. Bundles of clothes lying on the bed. Not putting tin foil in the baking tray when using the grill or oven. Never putting petrol in the car. Sitting talking on the phone all night when you're trying to watch the telly. Using the landline when her mobile is free. And this You sound like a fucking woman ffs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Brees Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 You sound like a fucking woman ffs. Tip of the icebergCandles on all the time. what's the point?Cushions. Too many of them, and you aren't even allowed to use them as a cushion.Asks me questions about a film/tv show that we're both watching together for the first time.Uses every pot, pan, plate, piece of cutlery to making dinner.Does a washing then can't be arsed hanging it up, so washes it again the next day....and repeat.Telling me about her dreamsGoes to the supermarket, spends about £120, and there's nothing to eat.Doesn't laugh at funny bits in films 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellbhoy Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 13 minutes ago, blanco said: You sound like a fucking woman ffs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellbhoy Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 1 minute ago, Drew Brees said: Tip of the iceberg Candles on all the time. what's the point? Cushions. Too many of them, and you aren't even allowed to use them as a cushion. Asks me questions about a film/tv show that we're both watching together for the first time. Uses every pot, pan, plate, piece of cutlery to making dinner. Does a washing then can't be arsed hanging it up, so washes it again the next day....and repeat. Telling me about her dreams Goes to the supermarket, spends about £120, and there's nothing to eat. Doesn't laugh at funny bits in films Fuxsake Drew, more whining than a Jeremy Kyle guest. You should take her onto Jeremy Kyle so she will change her wicked ways. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Brees Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 [emoji38] Fuxsake Drew, more whining than a Jeremy Kyle guest. You should take her onto Jeremy Kyle so she will change her wicked ways. I've an hour left of my birthday and not a hint of my hole, this isn't going to plan and I'm gutted. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 1 minute ago, Drew Brees said: I've an hour left of my birthday and not a hint of my hole, this isn't going to plan and I'm gutted. You're not going to get it on here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Given the amount of folk in my work who eat like five year old children and leave every piece of detritus imaginable possible lying wherever it happens to fall I'd have to say Drew is completely justified in his impotent rage. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Brees Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 You're not going to get it on here. I've went right off it since coming on this thread, I'm away to pornohub for 5 mins then up the stairs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 3 minutes ago, Drew Brees said: I've went right off it since coming on this thread Which post got you to the vinegar strokes? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Don't get the excessive cushions thing. Just need to be removed. Six cushions on a couch? Madness. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Thankfully the wife's relatively sane, but my mother went through a phase where everything had to be covered in cushions. You'd have to make a pyramid in the middle of the living room floor before you could sit on the sofa. I'd no idea this was a common thing until reading "The 100 Most Pointless Things in the World", in which Richard Osman puts cushions at #1 for this exact reason. Must be something Freudian about it, surely. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellbhoy Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 11 minutes ago, Drew Brees said: I've an hour left of my birthday and not a hint of my hole, this isn't going to plan and I'm gutted. Have you tried logging off and then wooing her with affection and flattery about how sexy she is to get her in the mood to open her legs at least? I should point out that this method has a very slim chance of working if you have been posting on here all day and haven't spent your birthday with her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellbhoy Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 13 minutes ago, Drew Brees said: I've went right off it since coming on this thread, I'm away to pornohub for 5 mins then up the stairs. Watch some porn with her, I'm sure she will get moist looking at another guys massive boaby. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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