Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[101]

1 minute ago, throbber said:

I froze a bit under the pressure of the situation 

Good to hear that's not your default place to stick your tac (not euph) nice cheery drawing maybe send it into 10 downing Street claiming to be one of Johnstons kids and they'll put it in the window

[throbber]

7 minutes ago, Silverton End said:

You've had to compromise with your missus haven't you, in order to get the cock on your window.

 

 

She would never agree to it. If you were just walking past you probably wouldn’t notice the testicles and bell end though and I doubt any children would notice either.

[mathematics]

7 hours ago, philpy said:

Every time she makes toast, she'll wash her plate but leaves this...  

At least she washes her plate. Swap ye.

[philpy]

4 hours ago, superbigal said:

Very thin toast it must have beenit was a bagel. My bad. 

 

[BFTD]

@throbber - you're still having trouble with your scrotum.

@weirdcal - it's been mentioned on here countless times, but you're supposed to restrict the blood flow to her head, not block her airway. You're suggesting the Ted Bundy method, which nobody likes, except Ted Bundy, and he's dead.

[throbber]

It’s been taken down and is in the bin in pieces. 

[Bairnardo]

1 hour ago, throbber said:

It’s been taken down and is in the bin in pieces. 

Selfish, prudish cow

[Distant Doonhamer]

It’s been taken down and is in the bin in pieces. 

Given BFTD’s post above your one I thought for a second you meant your scrotum [emoji50]

[weirdcal]

[mention=40259]throbber[/mention] - you're still having trouble with your scrotum.
[mention=28028]weirdcal[/mention] - it's been mentioned on here countless times, but you're supposed to restrict the blood flow to her head, not block her airway. You're suggesting the Ted Bundy method, which nobody likes, except Ted Bundy, and he's dead.

Ahhhh that's where I have gone wrong 3rd times the charm

[mizfit]

Her grans funeral today. She went ballistic last night and told me to have everything looked out for the morning.

Now she’s in the bedroom launching stuff around in a rage because she can’t find her mascara. I’m also apparently “fucking useless” because I don’t know where she last put it. Decide to tell her that she should’ve looked her stuff out last night and she’s away off greeting.

If this is how she’s going to act for every funeral going forward then I’ve got some fun time’s ahead.

[Derry Alli]

It's her grans funeral, cut her some slack mate. 

Also @philpy, nice toaster. Not sure on the collecting teabags. Do a lot of people still do that?! 

[Jacksgranda]

1 minute ago, Dele said:

It's her grans funeral, cut her some slack mate. 

Also @philpy, nice toaster. Not sure on the collecting teabags. Do a lot of people still do that?! 

@throbber

[Hillonearth]

25 minutes ago, mizfit said:

Her grans funeral today. She went ballistic last night and told me to have everything looked out for the morning.

Now she’s in the bedroom launching stuff around in a rage because she can’t find her mascara. I’m also apparently “fucking useless” because I don’t know where she last put it. Decide to tell her that she should’ve looked her stuff out last night and she’s away off greeting.

If this is how she’s going to act for every funeral going forward then I’ve got some fun time’s ahead.

For that perfect light-the-blue-touchpaper-and-stand-well-back moment, ask her what she wants mascara for because she'll only end up looking like Alice Cooper once she starts greeting at the funeral.

[Granny Danger]

15 minutes ago, Hillonearth said:

For that perfect light-the-blue-touchpaper-and-stand-well-back moment, ask her what she wants mascara for because she'll only end up looking like Alice Cooper once she starts greeting at the funeral.

Alice Cooper never cries.

[mizfit]

It's her grans funeral, cut her some slack mate. 
Also [mention=7178]philpy[/mention], nice toaster. Not sure on the collecting teabags. Do a lot of people still do that?! 

She’s calmed down now, it was more the unnecessary launching of stuff about the bedroom that annoyed me, she chose no mascara after I pointed out to her if might not be a good idea. Sooner we’re back home the better I think.

[Jacksgranda]

20 minutes ago, mizfit said:

 

 

She’s calmed down now, it was more the unnecessary launching of stuff about the bedroom that annoyed me, she chose no mascara after I pointed out to her if might not be a good idea. Sooner we’re back home the better I think.

 

 

Why, where are you at?

[CountyFan]

She's answered her phone in the living room, again. So now I have to listen to half an unnecessarily long conversation, again. The TV has been muted and I'm getting shooshed when I move about. 

Single life sounding very appealing at the moment. 

[Widge]

She's answered her phone in the living room, again. So now I have to listen to half an unnecessarily long conversation, again. The TV has been muted and I'm getting shooshed when I move about. 
Single life sounding very appealing at the moment. 

I get that all the time! Admittedly we live in a pretty small flat and it wouldn’t matter where she was, but for some reason her voice level increases no matter who’s she’s on the phone to.

Usually it’s when I’m watching football and instead of muting it she’ll pause it and then moan I didn’t miss anything whilst it was paused for half an hour. Doesn’t understand that I’ll get group chat notifications and have money on it! The sooner we have more rooms to live in the better. [emoji23][emoji23]

[CountyFan]

7 minutes ago, Widge said:

 

I get that all the time! Admittedly we live in a pretty small flat and it wouldn’t matter where she was, but for some reason her voice level increases no matter who’s she’s on the phone to.

Usually it’s when I’m watching football and instead of muting it she’ll pause it and then moan I didn’t miss anything whilst it was paused for half an hour. Doesn’t understand that I’ll get group chat notifications and have money on it! The sooner we have more rooms to live in the better.

 

The content of tonight's call was giddy excitement about a hen do that has zero chance of actually fucking happening. What's the point. 

[19QOS19]

I get that all the time! Admittedly we live in a pretty small flat and it wouldn’t matter where she was, but for some reason her voice level increases no matter who’s she’s on the phone to.

Usually it’s when I’m watching football and instead of muting it she’ll pause it and then moan I didn’t miss anything whilst it was paused for half an hour. Doesn’t understand that I’ll get group chat notifications and have money on it! The sooner we have more rooms to live in the better. [emoji23][emoji23]

Tbf you don't need to hear football.