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Dee Man

Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

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She goes away with her friends for the day or the weekend and I take to do with the bairn.

Me: ok enjoy yourself and have fun.

I go away for the weekend or go on a long away day to the footie (like Montrose away today)

Her: you’re abandoning me...

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me and the missus broke up in November. she is spending Xmas in NY with her family; am spending xmas here on my tod/with the dug. 

Drives me mental when the dog takes bits of kibble out his bowl, sucks any meat or wet food off them, and drops them on the floor. been telling him about this for years. Christ knows how we will get on come Xmas day. something like this (re-enactment):

5dfb95fc954bda018204f218.jpg

Edited by KingRocketman II

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Herself is bit of a spoilt git when it comes to Chirstmas & Birthdays. It stems from her Mother, who has the most unrealistic view of these events. 
Anyway I used to always buy her a trip somewhere, or an activity to do. She has a bucket list, so I used to just pick something off it and get it for her. A couple years back I decided to get her a gift instead, so got her a print that I knew she loved. She opened it, looked at it, and just put it on the floor and expected her "Big Present". When I told her that the print was her main present she got a bit huffy, before her Dad told her to stop being a p***k. 
So for Christmas this year, we decided we would not spend more than £50 on each other. I have gone over the budget considerably, however my plan of action is as follows. Give her three presents to the value of about £50 on Christmas morning at our house. She will of course expect the "others", I will reiterate that we agreed a £50 budget and that's what the items have come to. Most likely she will have bit of a heads gone, and say I don't love her or something similar. We will then drive to her parents in silence. As she starts opening her presents from her folk, I will nip upstairs where I have all her other presents (had everything sent to her folks, and went over to wrap them the other day) and take them down. I will make a point of calling her out for having a little bitch fit, before giving her the gifts. 
Boxing day will come, and within twenty minutes of the Edinburgh derby kicking off, she will have a go at me, "You're not sitting there all day watching football", it will be at that point I will remind her of her antics the day before. I will then be left in peace for the rest of the day. 
Life really shouldn't be this bloody difficult. 

I don’t want to be harsh but your wife appears to be a complete c**t.

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@LondonHMFC - were you the guy who had the chance of moving job - back to Edinburgh? - but she also has a good job in London, and you weren't sure what to do? Just move, is my advice, and she either comes with you or stays behind.

(And if it is not you, just move anyway).

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[mention=71976]LondonHMFC[/mention] - were you the guy who had the chance of moving job - back to Edinburgh? - but she also has a good job in London, and you weren't sure what to do? Just move, is my advice, and she either comes with you or stays behind.
(And if it is not you, just move anyway).

But......but......but if he moves away, who’s going to keep us updated on the exploits of Milky Gem ?

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Asked I pick her and her pal up and drop her pal off after their night out.

Her pal lives in Crieff and I didn’t realise until she was in the car and said she was now there.

30 minute round trip.

I hope she’s prepared for me making an absolute c**t of it when I next come in from a night out.

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12 hours ago, MONKMAN said:

 


She’s an absolute c**t by all accounts.

 

Let anyone of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone ....

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2 minutes ago, bennett said:

Let anyone of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone ....

You're a c**t as well.

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But......but......but if he moves away, who’s going to keep us updated on the exploits of Milky Gem ?
Maybe Milky Gem is his misses?....

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2 minutes ago, MONKMAN said:

You're a c**t as well.

 

Get rid of all bitterness,  rage and anger, slander and all other forms of malice. 

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Maybe Milky Gem is his misses?....

Doubt this very much. Gem is far too polite. Princess LHMFC would never end an e-mail with “Regards, Thanks, Many thanks, Gemma.”

It would be more like .......

“Sorry Cüntos, due to lazy b*****d delivery drivers there’s no milk today so could one of the office drones nip out and get a few jugs........and grab me a yumyum and a Twix while you’re at it.

Princess”

 

ETA - Gem lives in Brighton, doesn’t she ?

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21 hours ago, LondonHMFC said:

Herself is bit of a spoilt git when it comes to Chirstmas & Birthdays. It stems from her Mother, who has the most unrealistic view of these events. 

Anyway I used to always buy her a trip somewhere, or an activity to do. She has a bucket list, so I used to just pick something off it and get it for her. A couple years back I decided to get her a gift instead, so got her a print that I knew she loved. She opened it, looked at it, and just put it on the floor and expected her "Big Present". When I told her that the print was her main present she got a bit huffy, before her Dad told her to stop being a p***k. 

So for Christmas this year, we decided we would not spend more than £50 on each other. I have gone over the budget considerably, however my plan of action is as follows. Give her three presents to the value of about £50 on Christmas morning at our house. She will of course expect the "others", I will reiterate that we agreed a £50 budget and that's what the items have come to. Most likely she will have bit of a heads gone, and say I don't love her or something similar. We will then drive to her parents in silence. As she starts opening her presents from her folk, I will nip upstairs where I have all her other presents (had everything sent to her folks, and went over to wrap them the other day) and take them down. I will make a point of calling her out for having a little bitch fit, before giving her the gifts. 

Boxing day will come, and within twenty minutes of the Edinburgh derby kicking off, she will have a go at me, "You're not sitting there all day watching football", it will be at that point I will remind her of her antics the day before. I will then be left in peace for the rest of the day. 

Life really shouldn't be this bloody difficult. 

Do humanity a favour and don't breed with this absolute fu©kknuckle of a human being

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1 hour ago, mizfit said:

Asked I pick her and her pal up and drop her pal off after their night out.

Her pal lives in Crieff and I didn’t realise until she was in the car and said she was now there.

30 minute round trip.

I hope she’s prepared for me making an absolute c**t of it when I next come in from a night out.

It's a competitive game they play, how much they can get their daft menfolk to do. There's probably a prize.

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Thank f**k I'm single, just seeing miserable c***s traipse around the supermarket behind a torn faced cow who's unsure which washing powder or coffee is best usually banishes any thoughts of seeking a long term partner, but that LondonHMFC post is a clincher, f**k havin that shit in your life.

 

 

 

 

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Infuriating things your partner does?

How about going out at the crack of dawn on a Sunday morning to get all the Xmas food and stuff in?

Quote

If it's not done now, there's nothing left in the shops

This morning I'd to make my own fucking breakfast.

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1 hour ago, bennett said:

 

Get rid of all bitterness,  rage and anger, slander and all other forms of malice. 

If Vicki treated you like that, you'd be fucking raging as well.

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2 hours ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

Doubt this very much. Gem is far too polite. Princess LHMFC would never end an e-mail with “Regards, Thanks, Many thanks, Gemma.”

It would be more like .......

“Sorry Cüntos, due to lazy b*****d delivery drivers there’s no milk today so could one of the office drones nip out and get a few jugs........and grab me a yumyum and a Twix while you’re at it.

Princess”

 

ETA - Gem lives in Brighton, doesn’t she ?

"and a couple of surprise goodies for later, otherwise you don't really value me as a work colleague"

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They're maybe still relatively young, I think the reaction comes from most of us being in our 30s to 50s and not giving two fucks about presents anymore.

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2 hours ago, welshbairn said:

It's a competitive game they play, how much they can get their daft menfolk to do. There's probably a prize.

Who gets the biggest divorce settlement wins?

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1 minute ago, ali_91 said:

Bit harsh on @LondonHMFC’s missus here, all she’s appeared to have done is be a little ungrateful about one present one time?
 

The other stuff are things that may or may not happen on Wednesday, she’s hardly Maggie Thatcher ffs. 

I told my wife the story, she does not see what Mrs LondonHMFC has done wrong. Her thoughts are that he is a conniving c**t and has made a rod for his own back.

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