Bairnardo Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 Just catching up on this, but [mention=71976]LondonHMFC[/mention], mate, the last Christmas gift you should ever be giving her is a boot in the pie. What an arsehole.In fairness, no one has yet considered the possibility that he runs a brutal, violent dictatorship of a household* and this is the only time of year she gets anything at all that she wants.*Big team narrowed down to two if so.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingRocketman II Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 On 22/12/2019 at 12:02, Drew Brees said: Thank f**k I'm single, just seeing miserable c***s traipse around the supermarket behind a torn faced cow who's unsure which washing powder or coffee is best usually banishes any thoughts of seeking a long term partner, but that LondonHMFC post is a clincher, f**k havin that shit in your life. you made me splutter my drink with the "torn faced cow" comment. I don't know why - just seemed apt. and funny. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 Doesn't want me to pause something we're watching (The Witcher) then asks questions constantly because I'm assumed to know everything from playing Wild Hunt.At the cinema and I can feel her turning to me every time there's a stupid punchline during a trailer, or even worse a shitey advert. I'd love to be anywhere else in the world than watching any advert, I don't find whatever it is funny ffs! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 18May1991 Posted December 24, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted December 24, 2019 Me: want any help getting the kids presents down and put out for the morning? her: (laced with sarcasm) no. You just sit there. me: right you are. her: seething. Fucking seething. merry Christmas one and all. 23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 14 hours ago, Stellaboz said: Doesn't want me to pause something we're watching (The Witcher) then asks questions constantly because I'm assumed to know everything from playing Wild Hunt. At the cinema and I can feel her turning to me every time there's a stupid punchline during a trailer, or even worse a shitey advert. I'd love to be anywhere else in the world than watching any advert, I don't find whatever it is funny ffs! How are you enjoying The Witcher, viewing company aside? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 How are you enjoying The Witcher, viewing company aside?Love it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunning1874 Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 On 22/12/2019 at 13:44, Mark Connolly said: Phoned me in a massive panic because the oven “is broken”. She turned it on half an hour ago and it hasn’t heated up at all. Her mum and dad are coming tomorrow, and how can she have them come for dinner when the oven is broken. It’s a disaster, Christmas is ruined!!!!!111! (For now I’ll ignore their family’s utterly pointless tradition of going to each child’s house for dinner in the week leading up to them all going to their parents’ house on the 25th). Now P&B, I know what you’re thinking- she’s turned it on, but hasn’t set the temperature. Well you’d be wrong. She set the temperature, and turned the function dial so the light came on. When I arrived, all that was required was turning the dial one more setting. Arsehole. No, I can’t ignore this, tell us more. What in the name of suffering f**k ever made someone think that could possibly be a good idea? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomo Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 Every time he organises breakfast (like today) he’ll fanny about for ages and keep putting off making it.Him: ok I’ll do the rolls in a wee bit, I’ll just have a wee seat (about 7:30am) Me: ok that’s fine.Him: (about 8.30am by now) I’ll just finish this article and get breakfast on.Me: ok, do you want me to do anything to help?Him: no, I’ll do it in 5 minutes.Me: (now 9:20am) Do you want me to cook breakfast?Him: No, can you not wait 5 minutes? (Proceeds to get really stroppy and annoyed)f**k OFF!! I’m hungry and it’s been 2 fucking hours not 5 minutes. I wouldn’t mind if he’d just let me do it but he gets annoyed when I suggest it. p***k. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennett Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 30 minutes ago, Jambomo said: Every time he organises breakfast (like today) he’ll fanny about for ages and keep putting off making it. Him: ok I’ll do the rolls in a wee bit, I’ll just have a wee seat (about 7:30am) Me: ok that’s fine. Him: (about 8.30am by now) I’ll just finish this article and get breakfast on. Me: ok, do you want me to do anything to help? Him: no, I’ll do it in 5 minutes. Me: (now 9:20am) Do you want me to cook breakfast? Him: No, can you not wait 5 minutes? (Proceeds to get really stroppy and annoyed) f**k OFF!! I’m hungry and it’s been 2 fucking hours not 5 minutes. I wouldn’t mind if he’d just let me do it but he gets annoyed when I suggest it. p***k. Sounds like me, you have my sympathies. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 Doesn't want me to pause something we're watching (The Witcher) then asks questions constantly because I'm assumed to know everything from playing Wild Hunt.At the cinema and I can feel her turning to me every time there's a stupid punchline during a trailer, or even worse a shitey advert. I'd love to be anywhere else in the world than watching any advert, I don't find whatever it is funny ffs! Don't get me started on her and the Witcher.Put first one on and 15 mins in she's asking questions, which would be fine if she wasn't glued to her phone for the last 14 mins and 59 seconds. Then decreed it wasn't for her.Reminded her she did that with game of thrones and it wasn't till her friends talked about it she decided to watch.She said that wasn't true and fucked off to bed in a huff.Decided she wanted food prep done last night about 2 mins after I finished cleaning kitchen and dishes, no hot water to clean the mess so left for morning.After building a paw patrol tower, a 218 piece race track and some infernal flat pack kids kitchen, I do these dishes. She then decided to make breakfast using about 3 pans and then declares the dishes need done before I can sit.She's getting a boot to the pie as an extra gift. She deserves it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widge Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 Witcher was excellent. Luckily my girlfriend and I both played it together so she knew about the characters and what was going on. Otherwise I’d of had the same thing for sure! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 3 hours ago, Dunning1874 said: No, I can’t ignore this, tell us more. What in the name of suffering f**k ever made someone think that could possibly be a good idea? It’s supposed to be a transfer of presents type thing, but it’s basically an excuse for her maw to go to all the houses, criticise the decorations, and generally act like a nosey p***k. I’m led to believe it started as a thing when they were all at uni. At that point, I understand she was also wont to act like a nosey p***k. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cb_diamond Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 I'm stunned that LondonHMFC hasn't been on with an update of his Machiavellian "bitter pill for bootchops" scheme. After all his last post went so well! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutz_the_Squirrel Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 5 hours ago, cb_diamond said: I'm stunned that LondonHMFC hasn't been on with an update of his Machiavellian "bitter pill for bootchops" scheme. After all his last post went so well! Hoping (genuinely) that he’s alright. Pretty savage responses from the P&Bers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 11 hours ago, Jambomo said: Every time he organises breakfast (like today) he’ll fanny about for ages and keep putting off making it. Him: ok I’ll do the rolls in a wee bit, I’ll just have a wee seat (about 7:30am) Me: ok that’s fine. Him: (about 8.30am by now) I’ll just finish this article and get breakfast on. Me: ok, do you want me to do anything to help? Him: no, I’ll do it in 5 minutes. Me: (now 9:20am) Do you want me to cook breakfast? Him: No, can you not wait 5 minutes? (Proceeds to get really stroppy and annoyed) f**k OFF!! I’m hungry and it’s been 2 fucking hours not 5 minutes. I wouldn’t mind if he’d just let me do it but he gets annoyed when I suggest it. p***k. Kick him in the pie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 Every time he organises breakfast (like today) he’ll fanny about for ages and keep putting off making it.Him: ok I’ll do the rolls in a wee bit, I’ll just have a wee seat (about 7:30am) Me: ok that’s fine.Him: (about 8.30am by now) I’ll just finish this article and get breakfast on.Me: ok, do you want me to do anything to help?Him: no, I’ll do it in 5 minutes.Me: (now 9:20am) Do you want me to cook breakfast?Him: No, can you not wait 5 minutes? (Proceeds to get really stroppy and annoyed)f**k OFF!! I’m hungry and it’s been 2 fucking hours not 5 minutes. I wouldn’t mind if he’d just let me do it but he gets annoyed when I suggest it. p***k. A well written post on this thread can make one hate the partner in question.Congrats on your prose. He's a w**k!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomo Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 Kick him in the pieIf he had a pie, I would proceed to kick it. A boot to the baws is the closest acceptable equivalent. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 12 minutes ago, Jambomo said: If he had a pie, I would proceed to kick it. A boot to the baws is the closest acceptable equivalent. So you're a lady? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomo Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 So you're a lady?Aye 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 If he had a pie, I would proceed to kick it. A boot to the baws is the closest acceptable equivalent. So you're a lady?Depends on your expectations, seemingly 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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