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Dee Man

Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

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Ask to be a stay at home dad. I bet it's fucking easy.
Last week my shifts worked out that I was effectively the stay at home parent. morning and afternoon school runs, take care of all household duties etc and it was fucking bliss! Still nipped out to take care of work stuff every night and managed to paint the hall as well and not one day was I not sitting down with my feet up by 12 with a couple of hours to myself. Women don't want men to be stay at home parents as they'll expose the con that it's a hard gig that they've got away with for years!

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I guess I was sort of doing the stay-at-home dad thing after the wife was paralysed. Thankfully I'd started as self-employed just before, and could carry that on while taking care of her and the wean. It was great, and much less work than the job I'm currently doing.

Sitting on the bus to work right now wondering why I gave that up

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12 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

I guess I was sort of doing the stay-at-home dad thing after the wife was paralysed. Thankfully I'd started as self-employed just before, and could carry that on while taking care of her and the wean. It was great, and much less work than the job I'm currently doing.

Sitting on the bus to work right now wondering why I gave that up emoji848.png

You need money to survive.

Now that I'm retired I wish I'd done it when I was 18. However, that would have meant even less money than I currently have.

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Wife got a new phone yesterday.  Obviously comes with a new charger which was wrapped up like this:

image.png.272181d1c6f0408520226a9113a3c6c0.png

She charged it up last night but instead of taking the wrapping off she just pulled the ends out as it is too long apparently.  This morning she asked me to give it a charge and obviously the first thing I did was bin the wrapping and extend the wire out.

You'd think I'd smashed the phone screen by her reaction :lol: 

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6 hours ago, JamesP_81 said:
13 hours ago, Busta Nut said:
Ask to be a stay at home dad. I bet it's fucking easy.

Last week my shifts worked out that I was effectively the stay at home parent. morning and afternoon school runs, take care of all household duties etc and it was fucking bliss! Still nipped out to take care of work stuff every night and managed to paint the hall as well and not one day was I not sitting down with my feet up by 12 with a couple of hours to myself. Women don't want men to be stay at home parents as they'll expose the con that it's a hard gig that they've got away with for years!

When I have a couple of days of looking after the wee man I seem to find time to do loads of stuff.

Dishes, laundry, hoovering, shopping all done.

Yesterday was her day off so she had the wee man. I came home and we have to go straight to Tesco to get a few odds and ends..

It was never harder to not shout 'so you haven't left the house all fucking day then?'

Women are fucking at it.

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We're going on holiday to New Zealand next week. At the weekend my parents asked me if I had shorts and stuff or was I needing them, I replied of course I've got fucking shorts, I'm a grown adult and capable of buying my own clothes. My girlfriend heard all of this, even sniggered at my half joke, but then two days later sends me a link to some Ebay post asking "do you like these?" and there, on sale, is a pair of the shitest, beige, hipster shorts you'll ever see in your life.

I'm looking forward the holiday, 3 weeks we're away for, which gives me ample time to formulate the murder and a plan to get rid of the body.

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When I have a couple of days of looking after the wee man I seem to find time to do loads of stuff.
Dishes, laundry, hoovering, shopping all done.
Yesterday was her day off so she had the wee man. I came home and we have to go straight to Tesco to get a few odds and ends..
It was never harder to not shout 'so you haven't left the house all fucking day then?'
Women are fucking at it.

I think this happens because men are like: "The kitchen is a mess. I will clean it. Now the kitchen is clean."

While women are like:

"The kitchen is a mess. I'll spend a long time not cleaning the kitchen, but being upset that the kitchen is a mess. Ah good you are home. I can now be non-specifically tense around you until you correctly guess that the cause is the mess in the kitchen. I am angry that you are now cleaning the kitchen because it makes me feel bad that I didn't just tidy it up. I am also angry that you asked me why I didn't just tidy it up then."

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On 04/12/2019 at 21:45, JamesP_81 said:

Whenever I'm working away from home she always manages to get a phone call in that serves no purpose other than to try and make me feel bad that I'm working away. Tonight's was a call in a rage that she had lost track of time and the kids were a whole half hour over their bedtime. After telling me this there was no conversation just her letting me hear her shout at the kids that they have to stop playing, get in your pj's, brush your teeth right now, no you can't get stories etc...

10 minutes later phones me back to say the kids are down but still raging that this means they'll be up through the night, will wake up earlier than they're supposed to, will be a nightmare to get their breakfast and get ready for school so all this means she now only has 10 minutes of time to herself before she needs to go to bed as she has to get them out to school/nursery all by herself AND do 3 hours at work as well!

I'm thinking can you just fucking chill out and let me finish watching the football in peace before I set my alarm for 5 for another 12 hour shift like I'm doing all week!

^^^^^ Meaningless pish phone calls from your other half thread for this pish ^^^^^

What do you mean there isn't one???? :o 

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Wife's work night out(early start). I ask do you want me to come get you knowing town will be mental. No says she I wont be late I'll get the bus home. Just got a text asking 'Can you come get me and drop my pal off in Chapelhall' (Which is not even close to being on the way) I tell her not a chance I'll be doing that. Now blanking me. It'll be fun when she eventually gets home.......

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1 minute ago, Joe Terrapin said:

Wife's work night out(early start). I ask do you want me to come get you knowing town will be mental. No says she I wont be late I'll get the bus home. Just got a text asking 'Can you come get me and drop my pal off in Chapelhall' (Which is not even close to being on the way) I tell her not a chance I'll be doing that. Now blanking me. It'll be fun when she eventually gets home.......

What's the one from Chapelhall like?

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12 hours ago, Joe Terrapin said:

Wife's work night out(early start). I ask do you want me to come get you knowing town will be mental. No says she I wont be late I'll get the bus home. Just got a text asking 'Can you come get me and drop my pal off in Chapelhall' (Which is not even close to being on the way) I tell her not a chance I'll be doing that. Now blanking me. It'll be fun when she eventually gets home.......

12 hours and no update? I'm getting concerned for Joe's wellbeing...

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This has taken over the mad Darvel Juniors thread as my favourite on P & B. I am so glad to have been rid of this stuff for the last 12 years. I have no idea how some of you guys put up with it.

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22 minutes ago, Hampden Diehard said:

This has taken over the mad Darvel Juniors thread as my favourite on P & B. I am so glad to have been rid of this stuff for the last 12 years. I have no idea how some of you guys put up with it.

^^^

istone_badlyLaid.jpg

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I manage on my own with three kids, not sure how some these other wives get by!?

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10 minutes ago, RH33 said:

I manage on my own with three kids, not sure how some these other wives get by!?

Probably by moaning about their useless partners on Mumsnet.

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