Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Placida Domingo]

I mean to me a burd going out dressed like that is wanting rattled.

[Shotgun]

Where's she going to put her mobile phone?

[Sergeant Wilson]

5 hours ago, Placida Domingo said:

I mean to me a burd going out dressed like that is wanting rattled.

^^^potential rapist found.

[Derry Alli]

6 hours ago, Cerberus said:

She’s going out to a fancy dress.
Is this kinda thing suitable for an non single woman to be wearing?

Absolutely not. I mean, blue eye shadow? 

[The Minertaur]

On 13/11/2019 at 16:24, FalkirkBairn93 said:

Saying help without giving any clarity or instruction on what she needs help with.

I.e can’t find kitchen roll. Will just shout help and stare blankly at the worktop

I get a similar thing daily.

"What should I say back to *name*?"

I have no idea what the person said but yet I'm expected to provide a response for her and it tends to be really trivial matters that doesn't require a joint effort to create a reply.

[Jacksgranda]

6 hours ago, Shotgun said:

Where's she going to put her mobile phone?

[Florentine_Pogen]

“The Nonsie”.........the fashion industry’s Kevlar-based response to the Jeffrey Epstein / Ghoulaine Maxwell / Duke of Nonce beastliness.

[LondonHMFC]

It's the most wonderful time of the year.... 

Where I seem to say the words "Shut the bloody door" at least 10 times per day. 

Can't wait for the electricity bill to come and her to ask why it's so high. 

[Busta Nut]

Is that someone's burd? I don't get what that pic is there for.

[19QOS19]

Is that someone's burd? I don't get what that pic is there for.

10 posts up.

[NJ2]

I'm on my phone, can someone reverse image search it cos Cerberus has form in lifting photos & making out it's his gf
 
Back on topic: making Ng a big show of going to another room to "get some work done and leave you to chill" then just constantly coming and going to no obvious purpose when I'm trying to watch something.
 
 

Of course it’s not his partner, and who the f**k is going to “a fancy dress” just now? Just had Halloween for dressing up should folk have wanted.

[welshbairn]

34 minutes ago, MixuFixit said:

I'm on my phone, can someone reverse image search it cos Cerberus has form in lifting photos & making out it's his gf

[Mark Connolly]

It's Britney, bitch.

[Busta Nut]

1 hour ago, 19QOS19 said:

2 hours ago, Busta Nut said:

Is that someone's burd? I don't get what that pic is there for.

10 posts up.

Oh no I saw that. I just wonder if that is his burd. I was also wondering why someone was getting so para about his burd wear a tight fitted body suit thing.

[8MileBU]

She’s going out to a fancy dress.

Is this kinda thing suitable for an non single woman to be wearing?

 

 

I don’t see why not. It doesn’t look the easiest thing to get into or out of so you can rest assured she’ll probably just be wanking guys off or at worst sooking the boaby.

 

ETA: Looks like it’d wipe clean too so you’ll never know.

[Shotgun]

3 hours ago, MixuFixit said:

I'm on my phone, can someone reverse image search it cos Cerberus has form in lifting photos & making out it's his gf

Here you go.

 

[The Minertaur]

Had a night away in Edinburgh on Sunday.  

Got back to Aberdeen late on Monday and realised that the mobile phone chargers I thought I had packed weren't in my bag where I always put them.  I presume I've left them plugged into the wall and my wife agrees that I've clearly made a huge mistake as she didn't touch them.

Call the hotel who say nothing was handed in but that it could still be with housekeeping so asked me to call again yesterday.  Called and they said they'd take a look.

That night I go home and pick up a bag with my wife's new jacket in it and what do I find?  The chargers.  Of course it turns out that I must have accidentally taken them out of my bag and decided to put them in the other bag before forgetting all about this.

[smpar]

Once or twice would be fine but she CONSISTENTLY mixes up he/she and him/her. Much to the point I'm genuinely infuriated.

Talks about the new family kitten. A boy. Always "she is..." reminded hourly.

Talks about a new Frida Monobrow exhibition in town, says something about "his history..."

Give me strength. Left and right also hard at times apparently.

She must be finding I’m a Celebrity very confusing this year.

[Priti priti priti Patel]

First post in this thread. I've come home to find a Laurel wreath with red and white lights stuck on the front door, sofa cover changes to red, Xmas themed cushions on the sofa and a Xmas tree setup in the living room. It's November, I actively don't celebrate Xmas, and she didn't mention this to me. 

[welshbairn]

4 minutes ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

First post in this thread. I've come home to find a Laurel wreath with red and white lights stuck on the front door, sofa cover changes to red, Xmas themed cushions on the sofa and a Xmas tree setup in the living room. It's November, I actively don't celebrate Xmas, and she didn't mention this to me. 

Change your expression STAT! Say how wonderful it looks and what an amazing surprise. Otherwise find a divorce solicitor.