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Dee Man

Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

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Those tommy tippee machines that make the milk up are horrendous for germs, lots of impossible to clean internal parts that leads to illness, just make the bottle up yourself.
I used to fill it with previously boiled water to help with this.

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I have a very sore neck this morning and my judgement not the best.
WD40 works on brass I heard

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In Largs tonight, some poor guy called Lewis has received numerous phone calls in ten minutes, from his family who are sat near me:

Call 1 - go to the chip shop buy eight fish suppers.

Call 2 - go to the co-op and buy tomato ketchup.

Call 3 - HAND SANITISER (shouting orders at him now)

Call 4 - just leave the till and go and buy some drinks. Random cans. Just a selection for all. No just leave the till it won't take long.

I'm so stressed listening to all of this, I fear Lewis will taste anger and resentment when he's allowed to sit down for his chips.

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In Largs tonight, some poor guy called Lewis has received numerous phone calls in ten minutes, from his family who are sat near me:

Call 1 - go to the chip shop buy eight fish suppers.

Call 2 - go to the co-op and buy tomato ketchup.

Call 3 - HAND SANITISER (shouting orders at him now)

Call 4 - just leave the till and go and buy some drinks. Random cans. Just a selection for all. No just leave the till it won't take long.

I'm so stressed listening to all of this, I fear Lewis will taste anger and resentment when he's allowed to sit down for his chips.

^^^ Lewis

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27 minutes ago, Le Tout P'ti FC said:

In Largs tonight, some poor guy called Lewis has received numerous phone calls in ten minutes, from his family who are sat near me:

Call 1 - go to the chip shop buy eight fish suppers.

Call 2 - go to the co-op and buy tomato ketchup.

Call 3 - HAND SANITISER (shouting orders at him now)

Call 4 - just leave the till and go and buy some drinks. Random cans. Just a selection for all. No just leave the till it won't take long.

I'm so stressed listening to all of this, I fear Lewis will taste anger and resentment when he's allowed to sit down for his chips.

Lewis from Largs, if your are reading this, put them all under the patio.

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When I’m watching something (football, darts, etc) and her phone rings.

“Can you turn that down or pause it please? My mum’s phoning”

Fucking go upstairs and talk to her FFS. I’m not pausing live sport

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She’s never off her phone. Like never.

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14 hours ago, mizfit said:

She’s never off her phone. Like never.

Yet never answers when you phone.

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She’s never off her phone. Like never.


The second she puts it down after being on it all night though you’ll get the “you know you’re never off your phone...”

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We currently have a spray can of canola oil and a bottle of vegetable oil in the cupboard. She pulls out the spray can last night to fry some chicken and says, "I read the other day that these spray oils are bad for non-stick pans as the aerosol damages them and removes the non-stick material".

**proceeds to spray oil directly onto non-stick pan**

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canola oil


Baffling American names for household goods thread for this pish.

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Her: "Can I try a bit of your food (that you picked from the menu)?

Me: "Sure"

[tastes it]

Her:  "Hmmm... it's ok, but I prefer mine"

 

 

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On ‎08‎/‎07‎/‎2019 at 10:02, throbber said:

 

 


I have no idea how it ended up in the house, I actually think it was bought for us but it had very little to do with me. You were banging on yesterday to someone who is expecting a child in a few months time about how this was an essential piece of kit though and I disagreed, it doesn’t make me a hypocrite for having one I just think they’re over rated.

 

It's a life saver for me, was brutal waiting for the milk to warm up while the wee man was having a meltdown at 2am! All hail the Tommy Tippee!

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I came home from work late last night and fancied a snack so stuck a few slices of toast on. We have 3 whole loaves in the house plus 2 slices and a skiddly wee end bit from another loaf. Instead of opening up a fresh one I thought ill just finish that one off.
Now to this morning, she is making breakfast and has decided that those specific 2 and a half slices of bread were integral to her whole breakfast plan which is now ruined, and has flown off the handle about how she can't leave anything in the house without me eating it!

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