Jacksgranda Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 16 hours ago, Dee Man said: I've just looked it up and the first article I came to was from a Queen's University of Belfast study which said that female and older people struggled most in a 'distraction test' (attempting to tell left from right with background noise). I just relayed this information to The Queen of Whataboutery who immediately went on the defensive and said that it's "because men can't multi-task"... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bernardblack Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 Literally 3 minutes into the first episode of the capture and shes asking what's going on. I've seen precisely as much as you have so why not shut up and see what happens. “Oh who’s he?”“Well this is the first time we’ve seen him so how am I supposed to know?!”Rage 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 Starting to think Mrs B would have no fucking idea how to function as an adult without me. Todays meltdowns included going to 4 different shops before finally choosong and ordering a new rug then about ten minutes later launching into some sort of regret frenzy asking me "did we get the right one? What if it doesnt go" etc etc.Fucking hell. Firstly, can we wait till it fucking arrives to make the decision if it goes or not. Secondly, if it doesn't, we will send it back as per standard shopping practice. Fucking hell. A fucking mini crisis out of everything. And while im at it, lengthy procrastination and seeking advice from me over what birthday card to get her brother..... I dont give a f**k is a phrase thrown about too easily these days. But I 100% DO NOT GIVE A FUCKING f**k what birthday card you buy. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] not editing that. Will just admit after re-reading it that yes, seething. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 1 hour ago, Bairnardo said: Starting to think Mrs B would have no fucking idea how to function as an adult without me. Todays meltdowns included going to 4 different shops before finally choosong and ordering a new rug then about ten minutes later launching into some sort of regret frenzy asking me "did we get the right one? What if it doesnt go" etc etc. Fucking hell. Firstly, can we wait till it fucking arrives to make the decision if it goes or not. Secondly, if it doesn't, we will send it back as per standard shopping practice. Fucking hell. A fucking mini crisis out of everything. And while im at it, lengthy procrastination and seeking advice from me over what birthday card to get her brother..... I dont give a f**k is a phrase thrown about too easily these days. But I 100% DO NOT GIVE A FUCKING f**k what birthday card you buy. No Judge in the land would convict you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 Spent nearly half an hour looking for her phone, which she hadn't taken out with her when we went to the shops. I decided to go and look in the car, and was told I was wasting my time as it wasn't there. Guess what I found under her seat??. Yep. The phone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 2 hours ago, Bairnardo said: Starting to think Mrs B would have no fucking idea how to function as an adult without me. Todays meltdowns included going to 4 different shops before finally choosong and ordering a new rug then about ten minutes later launching into some sort of regret frenzy asking me "did we get the right one? What if it doesnt go" etc etc. Fucking hell. Firstly, can we wait till it fucking arrives to make the decision if it goes or not. Secondly, if it doesn't, we will send it back as per standard shopping practice. Fucking hell. A fucking mini crisis out of everything. And while im at it, lengthy procrastination and seeking advice from me over what birthday card to get her brother..... I dont give a f**k is a phrase thrown about too easily these days. But I 100% DO NOT GIVE A FUCKING f**k what birthday card you buy. @Shandon Par you’re needed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 The subject of an old chocolate selection box came up tonight (Terry's Neopolitans, for what it's worth). BigFatTabbyWife asks what was in it, so I said it was half milk, half dark chocolate, with different flavours and the dark ones were surprisingly nice."Uhuh, uhuh, so was there any dark chocolate in it?""My last sentence was literally about that""No it wasn't"Impotently simmering away to myself right now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 The wife has been moaning recently about having no data left on her phone so she can’t rot her brain on Shitebook when not in the house. After a few days I asked her if her mobile data was switched on. Checked her settings. It’s off. ”Aye well thats been off since I got the phone” She’s had the phone 4 years, been on a contract paying for data and hasn’t used a single fucking kilobyte. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: The wife has been moaning recently about having no data left on her phone so she can’t rot her brain on Shitebook when not in the house. After a few days I asked her if her mobile data was switched on. Checked her settings. It’s off. ”Aye well thats been off since I got the phone” She’s had the phone 4 years, been on a contract paying for data and hasn’t used a single fucking kilobyte. Mate, look on the bright side. If she was smart, would she be with you? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 4 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: The wife has been moaning recently Sorry about that, I'll tell her to dial it down in future. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 Just now, Zen Archer Esq. said: Sorry about that, I'll tell her to dial it down in future. Be fair to her, anyone would moan listening to your 40th pun of the night. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 5 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: The wife has been moaning recently about having no data left on her phone so she can’t rot her brain on Shitebook when not in the house. After a few days I asked her if her mobile data was switched on. Checked her settings. It’s off. ”Aye well thats been off since I got the phone” She’s had the phone 4 years, been on a contract paying for data and hasn’t used a single fucking kilobyte. Like a constant drone in the background you know she moans a lot when it takes a few days to notice what's she saying. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 1 hour ago, Rugster said: @Shandon Par you’re needed. My extra decade on Earth over Bairnardo has taught me to never get involved or express an opinion on rugs. When Mrs says “that bedroom rug is wrecked” I know not to point out that it’s about 6 months old and looks just as it fucking did when it came out of the wrapping. Instead I resign myself to the fact three or four potential replacement rugs will arrive the next day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 Do none of you people have carpet? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 2 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: My extra decade on Earth over Bairnardo has taught me to never get involved or express an opinion on rugs. When Mrs says “that bedroom rug is wrecked” I know not to point out that it’s about 6 months old and looks just as it fucking did when it came out of the wrapping. Instead I resign myself to the fact three or four potential replacement rugs will arrive the next day. You can cut a hole in the middle of the old one and wear it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 31 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: You can cut a hole in the middle of the old one and wear it. Wife or rug? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 2 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Wife or rug? I think Gunther may have stolen your thunder if you choose the first one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 Do none of you people have carpet?Is that your pickup line at the unders? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 Would it disturb the lighthearted tone of this thread to include "be a narcissistic alcoholic with anger issues" I hope not because it's fucking infuriating. In the plus side, due to a difference of opinion on the price of admission to the planetarium, I have an unscheduled pub night. Every cloud etc 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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