Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[staggy1929]

I know I won't be the only one and it's probably been mentioned before.

She'll spend ages on her phone, so I'll go on mine for about 2 minutes and get met with 'You're never off your phone, I'm here too you know?'

 

[deej]

3 minutes ago, staggy1929 said:

I know I won't be the only one and it's probably been mentioned before.

She'll spend ages on her phone, so I'll go on mine for about 2 minutes and get met with 'You're never off your phone, I'm here too you know?'

 

Yeah. iPad for me. 

 

Her phone is shite and has been for ages, so she isn't on it very often. This is something to be proud of apparently, but it's not so good when she needs to contact someone or google anything. 

 

"Can I just use your phone for a minute"

 

f**k off and get a new phone

[Hedgecutter]

Tries a bit of my meal and then says that she prefers her choice, funnily enough after narrowing down the options over 20 mins, during which my meal was eliminated from her short-list fairly early on. 

[Stellaboz]

When she gets hiccups. It quickly gets infuriating and lasts for a good 15 minutes /8 hours.

[Guest bernardblack]

Tries a bit of my meal and then says that she prefers her choice, funnily enough after narrowing down the options over 20 mins, during which my meal was eliminated from her short-list fairly early on. 

Mrs BB picks her item off the menu days before going but will still give it the “Oh I’m not sure you know”

[Dee Man]

Slurps her tea/coffee. She knows I hate it yet rather than drink quietly like any other fucking normal human being she proceeds to Google what's wrong with me and informs me I have misonomia. 

Good. Hopefully the judge also has this horrendous disorder and sympathetically lets me off of my murder charge. 

[BFTD]

On 13/08/2019 at 08:41, Stellaboz said:

Once or twice would be fine but she CONSISTENTLY mixes up he/she and him/her. Much to the point I'm genuinely infuriated.

I thought this was a thing that only affected the old yins. Both mine and the wife's mothers have gradually spiralled into mixing up genders over the past decade. They're both on near-enough a 100% fail rate now.

("young people and their pronouns" rant incoming, no doubt)

[Dee Man]

7 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

I thought this was a thing that only affected the old yins. Both mine and the wife's mothers have gradually spiralled into mixing up genders over the past decade. They're both on near-enough a 100% fail rate now.

("young people and their pronouns" rant incoming, no doubt)

The wife constantly confuses left and right. When I pull her up on it the reply always begins with, "I do know them, but..."

I went through the attended car wash today with my daughter who told me that the attendants had shouted at her mother because they were trying to guide her onto the automatic pulley, told her to turn right and she went left, almost damaging part of the car wash.

How can anyone not automatically know their left or right?

[Shandon Par]

2 minutes ago, Dee Man said:

The wife constantly confuses left and right. When I pull her up on it the reply always begins with, "I do know them, but..."

I went through the attended car wash today with my daughter who told me that the attendants had shouted at her mother because they were trying to guide her onto the automatic pulley, told her to turn right and she went left, almost damaging part of the car wash.

How can anyone not automatically know their left or right?

My mum and sister had the same issue. Pull up to a roundabout and they'd ask "who has the right of way" or "which way do I turn". Can only presume they sucked off the examiners who passed them at the umpteenth attempts. 

[BFTD]

4 minutes ago, Dee Man said:

The wife constantly confuses left and right. When I pull her up on it the reply always begins with, "I do know them, but..."

I went through the attended car wash today with my daughter who told me that the attendants had shouted at her mother because they were trying to guide her onto the automatic pulley, told her to turn right and she went left, almost damaging part of the car wash.

How can anyone not automatically know their left or right?

"The one on your right"
"No, your OTHER right"

Every fucking time.

Edited September 26, 2019 by BigFatTabbyDave

[Dee Man]

7 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

My mum and sister had the same issue. Pull up to a roundabout and they'd ask "who has the right of way" or "which way do I turn". Can only presume they sucked off the examiners who passed them at the umpteenth attempts. 

 

6 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

"The one on your right"
"No, your OTHER right"

Every fucking time.

I've just looked it up and the first article I came to was from a Queen's University of Belfast study which said that female and older people struggled most in a 'distraction test' (attempting to tell left from right with background noise).

I just relayed this information to The Queen of Whataboutery who immediately went on the defensive and said that it's "because men can't multi-task"...

 

 

[Stellaboz]

Yup that too. And she wants me to teach her to drive! Nope. I said left, not right into that house on fire in the middle of an acid lake.

[Shandon Par]

7 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

Yup that too. And she wants me to teach her to drive! Nope. I said left, not right into that house on fire in the middle of an acid lake.

My old man tried teaching my mum to drive. He would get in the car and put a towel over his head. Once he got out in Dollar in terror and walked home to Saline. 

[DA Baracus]

2 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

My old man tried teaching my mum to drive. He would get in the car and put a towel over his head. Once he got out in Dollar in terror and walked home to Saline. 

That's quite the walk. Must have taken a good few hours.

[buchan30]

"The one on your right"
"No, your OTHER right"
Every fucking time.

She will ask me to scratch her back at the left
and when i do, she will say “no, the other side” that will be your right then?

My old man tried teaching my mum to drive. He would get in the car and put a towel over his head. Once he got out in Dollar in terror and walked home to Saline. 

My dad apparently tried to teach my mum to drive, they went out on her 1st lesson and he shouted at her. So she got out the car and never ever learned to drive.

[CountyFan]

Are women capable of finishing an entire glass of water/juice? Every single time there will be 4 inches left in the glass and it will be left there for 2 days. I'll eventually get fed up and chuck it out which is inevitably followed by "oh I would have drank that!" 

Never has that problem with her twelve quid cocktails tho does she. Stupid boot. 

[Busta Nut]

Mines still insisting on paying no attention to the telly/talking at every major point with whatever we are watching.

[Shotgun]

The first ever argument between myself and the light of my life was when I was driving and she told me to "Turn left here, right here".

Now while there is a certain logic to that if you think it through, the row had been teed up a few minutes before after I'd taken a wrong turn when carelessly following the directions she gave me instead of intuiting that she meant the opposite.   

[Shotgun]

6 hours ago, Busta Nut said:

Mines still insisting on paying no attention to the telly/talking at every major point with whatever we are watching.

And then asking you to explain what's happening, thus causing you to miss important parts of the dialogue, amirite?

[CountyFan]

2 hours ago, Shotgun said:

And then asking you to explain what's happening, thus causing you to miss important parts of the dialogue, amirite?

Literally 3 minutes into the first episode of the capture and shes asking what's going on. I've seen precisely as much as you have so why not shut up and see what happens.