Dee Man Posted June 11, 2017 Author Share Posted June 11, 2017 45 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: My mum is one of those candle-party people on a full-time basis (buying anything from the big Yankee rival will see the house burnt down in some accident that will inevitably be my fault). Of course, we get a new candle based decoration with every birthday and Christmas, all requiring a constant supply of tea lights. Top 'have a nice present that I will make a steady flow of money from' business prowess from my mother there. That said, I bought a (what I think is a rather cool and shiny genuine) Davy lamp from the Scottish Mining Museum as a 'something a bit different'. This is probably the only thing I have ever added to the house that had no joint approval first. I usually see most other things for the first time having returned home from the football after she's been away with friends, usually the sort of cafe selling kitsch tack everywhere. Am I the only person to find last month's addition hideous btw? (not the full-size Davy Lamp, that's merely for scale): #everyoneelselikedit If I'm being honest here, I think hers is quite cool and yours is a bit shite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 I was far worse on the drink a few years ago than I am now but on one occasion I wanted to stay up drinking on a Saturday night so the Mrs went to bed and I stayed up watching match of the day and to avoid having to leave the sitting room and going to the toilet and risk waking her up/having her tell me to come to bed I peed in the kitchen sink. She ended up coming through to the sitting room as I was doing this and I was abruptly stopped, I was visibly flustered and she was trying to find out what I was up to but I got away with it. Didn't it hurt like hell to hold mid flow? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Didn't it hurt like hell to hold mid flow? It did a bit yeah. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 If I'm being honest here, I think hers is quite cool and yours is a bit shite. Fair enough! Mine does look a bit small and out of place beside it I guess, but the OH rather likes it too and believe me when I say it looks decent on its usual home that is the black (coal) fireplace. Only just made that miner's lamp by a coal fire link just now ffs. I've got an interest in exploring Scottish caves and mines, so it's not particularly random for me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Always on her phone but can't seem to answer the b*****d thing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Co.Down Hibee Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 my wife's attempts at working the remote for sky or the fire stick are beyond hopeless... Me: shall we watch a film tonight? Mrs: yeah ok ,i ve the remote here Me: do you want me to do it? Mrs: (stroppily) No! I'll do it. Me: that's sky store,it's the movies you want. Mrs: no it isn't. Me: now you're on functions,give it here Mrs: Noooo ,I've got it Me: you've knocked it off the HD channel now . Mrs: the batteries must have gone Me: FFS And so on... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 1 hour ago, Hedgecutter said: I've got an interest in exploring Scottish caves and mines, so it's not particularly random for me. Have you? You never said. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnthebaptistist Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 My better half finds it amusing to come home from work and tell me how many blokes arses she has put her fingers up during her shift, I'm sure she said she was a nurse when we first met, some days I have my doubts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 7 minutes ago, johnthebaptistist said: My better half finds it amusing to come home from work and tell me how many blokes arses she has put her fingers up during her shift, I'm sure she said she was a nurse when we first met, some days I have my doubts. Aye, but she'll take the rubber glove off for you, because you're special. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Equalizer Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 9 hours ago, resk said: As a single, heterosexual man, I've read through this entire thread with a growing sense of terror, and I'm now thinking about giving gayness a try. I'm scared to try it incase I like it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 29 minutes ago, johnthebaptistist said: My better half finds it amusing to come home from work and tell me how many blokes arses she has put her fingers up during her shift, I'm sure she said she was a nurse when we first met, some days I have my doubts. If you film it, you might be able to blackmail a deputy headmaster from a posh school, allowing you to make the cash to build your own brothel. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christophe Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 52 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Niche prozzie imo. That's the joke -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 I was far worse on the drink a few years ago than I am now but on one occasion I wanted to stay up drinking on a Saturday night so the Mrs went to bed and I stayed up watching match of the day and to avoid having to leave the sitting room and going to the toilet and risk waking her up/having her tell me to come to bed I peed in the kitchen sink. She ended up coming through to the sitting room as I was doing this and I was abruptly stopped, I was visibly flustered and she was trying to find out what I was up to but I got away with it. That's disgusting.I brush my teeth and do a jobby at the same time but peeing in the kitchen sink is another level. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 1 minute ago, Dindeleux said: That's disgusting. I brush my teeth and do a jobby at the same time but peeing in the kitchen sink is another level. I ran the tap whilst doing it to ensure there was no urine left on the surface. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 I ran the tap whilst doing it to ensure there was no urine left on the surface. Still disgusting. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 2 minutes ago, Dindeleux said: Still disgusting. I dont deny that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Have you? You never said. Not only can I hunt folk down, I'm also rather good at disposing of things in exceptionally difficult to find places. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 1 minute ago, Hedgecutter said: Not only can I hunt folk down, I'm also rather good at disposing of things in exceptionally difficult to find places. Aye, but you won't get a bus at this time on a Sunday. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnthebaptistist Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 3 hours ago, The Chlamydia Kid said: Any time I've went with nurses they are utterly bonkers when they get dumped. The last one I ever went with spoke about stuff like that as if it was funny. It wasn't on the second date. It was disgusting listening to a woman talking about shit. I chucked her, partly as a result of that kind of chat. She did not take it well. Been on a few nights out with her nursey pals, I'm an ex-squaddie who has seen a fair bit of the "medically unusual " situations but the stuff that they talk about is on a different level 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted June 12, 2017 Author Share Posted June 12, 2017 Insisting I put x's at the end of my texts. Bunch of needy pish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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