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Dee Man

Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

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3 minutes ago, Jeek said:

- Utter refusal to see any other point of view, simultaneously having a go at me because I wont see the other point of view(usually when she's wrong but wont admit it).

-  Mrs Jeek; "I'll run you a bath" if i'm coming home from 5's or something, then i come home to "I just nipped in before you", borderline acceptable until i get in and it's all moisturiser and glitter and I go into work the next day shimmering like a fcuking Disney princess!

 

         

 

Eh, hold on. Are you saying you bath in the same water as your missus has before you? For f**k's sake. OFTW without a doubt. It's nothing like "borderline" acceptable, it's absolutely unacceptable!

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4 minutes ago, Rugster said:

Eh, hold on. Are you saying you bath in the same water as your missus has before you? For f**k's sake. OFTW without a doubt. It's nothing like "borderline" acceptable, it's absolutely unacceptable!

She's been doing an office job, not tough mudder m8

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9 minutes ago, Jeek said:

She's been doing an office job, not tough mudder m8

It doesn't matter. That's fucking rank m8.

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Oh where to start. I'll start with lids. Not one lid is ever put back on correctly ever. Milk, juice, toothpaste, gin etc.

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It doesn't matter. That's fucking rank m8.


What if they want to bathe together?

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19 minutes ago, Jeek said:

- Utter refusal to see any other point of view, simultaneously having a go at me because I wont see the other point of view(usually when she's wrong but wont admit it).

-  Mrs Jeek; "I'll run you a bath" if i'm coming home from 5's or something, then i come home to "I just nipped in before you", borderline acceptable until i get in and it's all moisturiser and glitter and I go into work the next day shimmering like a fcuking Disney princess!

 

And my continual nightmate;

-        Jeek getting back from work before her; "what do you fancy for tea?"  

         Mrs Jeek; "anything, i'm not that fussy"

         Jeek; what about *insert myriad of culinary delights*?

         Mrs Jeek; "hmmm naah"

         Jeek; "kaaay, what about *insert another myriad*"

         Mrs Jeek; "hmmm nah, not really feeling that"

         Jeek; "what do you want then"

         Mrs Jeek; "Anything I told you, I'm not fussy"

         Jeek(with added tone); "Right well I want this."

         Mrs Jeek; "mmm, nah not tonight"

        Jeek; **Triggered** goes in huff / goes and sits on P&B for half an hour before getting some shite out the freezer

        Mrs Jeek: "how come you're grumpy tonight"

at least once a week

This times a million.

Future Mrs Minertaur - "I can't be arsed cooking - fancy a take away?"

Minertaur - "Yeah! What you thinking?"

Future Mrs Minertaur - "Anything"

Minertaur - "Pizza?"

Future Mrs Minertaur "Maybe..."

Minertaur - "Is there anything you really fancy?"

Future Mrs Minertaur "Nah - just you pick and I'll be happy"

Minertaur - "Perfect - pizza it is!"

*Order pizza*

Future Mrs Minertaur - "I'm not really in the mood for pizza - was in the mood for a chinese"

Related image

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4 minutes ago, throbber said:

 


What if they want to bathe together?

 

That's different. Then you're washing at the same time, and not getting into tepid water someone has already used to wash their entire body in.

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19 minutes ago, Tynieness said:

I've not perused thread yet but has just breathing been mentioned.

It has actually, as has 'being alive'.

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Just now, Dee Man said:

It has actually, as has 'being alive'.

Damn.  Anyway most of the things will have been covered such as inabilty to clean properly etc etc.

She also has a propensity to let me pay for things on the premise that she will give me money later.

I'm still chasing Eurodisney cash from two years ago.

And the most infuriating thing is accepting invites to pish events where I then have to attend and make small talk with irritating c***s I can't be arsed with.

I think she got the hint at the last one where I went and played football with my son rather than engage in some top bants about the weather etc.

My rational is that I have to talk to arseholes monday-saturday with work and football commitments so on a Sunday I just want peace.

Yup I'm a keeper.

 

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39 minutes ago, Rugster said:

That's different. Then you're washing at the same time, and not getting into tepid water someone has already used to wash their entire body in.

Bath's are rank full stop. If you're going to wash yourself in a bath full of all your own gunk then I doubt an added bit of your missus' lady dirt is going to make much difference, unless she's just back from a shift down the mines.

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Her insistence on using specific shaped glasses for different drinks e.g. diluting juice in one type, fizzy beverages in another.

Fucking mentalist.

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She always wants to go out and do something just for the sake of doing it and it's always on a Saturday when I have the football. I think she knows my answer will always be no but just wants a reason to fall out with me.

Seen it mentioned already but she also insists on turning of all sockets before going out as if the appliance plugged into it will spontaneously combust as soon as we leave the house. I would also go along with the hair in the plughole which I've had the blame for despite her having long dark hair and me having short light hair.

She also watches hunners of shite telly and once she starts she becomes engrossed for weeks. At present I'm having to sit through episodes of DIY SOS which were first aired in 2006. Every. Single. Night.

Back on the theme of her wanting to fall our with me. We were once watching T In The Park highlights which showed a larger girl sitting on some guys shoulders. She made a comment and I made a laughing sound to acknowledge it. She then turned round to me with a look like thunder and says "that's a horrible thing to laugh at." WHIT?!

Sent from my SM-G920F using Pie and Bovril mobile app

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5 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Shouting from another room and then getting annoyed when I can't hear her at all or understand what she's on about. Made worse if she then says "well come down then". Erm, if you want to say something, you come to me.

This morning as she's leaving and I'm in the shower upstairs, she shouts something up, which I can't hear.  I shout back down that I'm in the shower and can't hear, so she says it again, but no louder.  When I bellow "I'M IN THE SHOWER I CAN'T HEAR YOU", I get a nippy response about not having to shout and the door banging shut.

I did briefly contemplate if you could waterboard yourself to death with a shower head, but the kids were running about, so it put me off.

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What if they want to bathe together?


You don't bathe together to save time or to help scrub each other's feet, it's because you're after your hole.

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You don't bathe together to save time or to help scrub each other's feet, it's because you're after your hole.


Bobby hits nail on head.

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3 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said:

 

 


You don't bathe together to save time or to help scrub each other's feet, it's because you're after your hole.

 

By all accounts throbber wouldn't be able to fit into the bath once his burd has got in.

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50 minutes ago, Dee Man said:

Bath's are rank full stop. If you're going to wash yourself in a bath full of all your own gunk then I doubt an added bit of your missus' lady dirt is going to make much difference, unless she's just back from a shift down the mines.

How dirty can one get in day?

I very rarely have a bath but when I do I go all out and steal loads of her smelly stuff she's precious as f**k over.

Edited by Mallo_Madrid

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