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Dee Man

Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

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I put this on PTTGOYN a while ago but it's relevant here. When the bidie-in  says she wants to watch a tv programme that you have no interest in and she proceeds to yap all the way through it.  Also her taste in music, "modern jazz" wtf is that even about. 

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Thought of another one. When cooking, I'll tend to tidy up as I go along and out offcuts, rubbish in the bin to save me doing it later. My girlfriend doesn't believe in this and cooks, eats and then leaves everything lying out on the worktop. That's not the infuriating bit, I don't mind that. What infuriated me last month was that she was off work sick and should have been in bed resting. Instead she decided that she was going to clean everything including the fucking oven. So doesn't clean when it matters and does clean when she shouldn't! Defies logic.

This!

My wife thinks she's doing me a favour by making dinner for me coming in from work..........
If the kitchen didn't look like a bad day in alleppo it would be lovely!
I spend the rest of the night doing dishes and cleaning the kitchen, can't say a word or I'm not happy that my dinner was made!

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15 minutes ago, MuckleMoo said:

Anything to do with cars and, in particular, anytime they need to go into a garage to get serviced or repaired. On being told how much it will cost she will invariably snort in disgust and demand that I take the car to another garage. She doesn't know where to put the water in for the windscreen washer for f**k sake but suddenly becomes an expert when there's money involved

 

 

Feel your pain on this one, my Mrs in January had car troubles. Wouldn't start, eventually got it going with jump leads. Told her to get a new battery. Obviously she didn't, so a month later when it happened again, I was less than pleased to drive 60 miles to her to get the car started. Once again told her to make sure she got a new battery. Few weeks later, Friday night, just in the door about to have a beer and she rung saying there was a crash in front of her. Told her just to whizz round if no one was there, but being the saint that she is, said she would just wait for the police to make sure everybody was ok. Fifteen minutes later she rings to tell me that everything is ok, but her car won't start. Again I have to plod out, and get her going. When we get home, I made her go to Halfords to get a new battery fitted there and then. Think it was £60 all in. Her response "Oh if I knew it was that cheap, would have done it ages ago". 

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1 minute ago, MONKMAN said:

 

 


What the f**k is that supposed to mean?

 

An unmarried partner who shares the house with you.

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2 hours ago, MEADOWXI said:

Wartching TV and her mobile rings.

 

This is not a cue for her to get up and take the call in the kitchen or bedroom it is apparently a cue for a hunt for the remote and the TV to be muted or paused so she can sit beside me on the sofa and make me listen to half a phone conversation I don't give a f**k about. This does not only happen during programmes she has an interest in it is even if I am watching something (eg sport) she isn't bothered about.

I now have to lie when we have to be somewhere on time. Last time we were meeting to get a train together I told her the train was 12.30. She arrived at 13.10, the train was 13.40. I'll be there in 5mins has varied anywhere between 15mins and 3 hours.

 

I wouldn't advocate a kick in the pie here. I'd just kill her. The TV thing is bad enough but the punctuality? Does she think the fucking train will wait for her? 

Seething. I'm actually seething. 

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On the cleaning thing, I'll admit that we could both have the house a bit tidier at times, but it's never a disgrace. What will happen however is that at some random point everything has to be tidied to pristine levels there and then because it has hit a certain level in her mind. If you happen to have something planned, or just want to enjoy your Sunday morning watching the Goal Rush then she'll end up doing it herself and proceed to tell you for weeks that you don't help out with the cleaning, even though you said you'd happily do it in a couple of hours instead.

The other classic is where everything must drop because a friend of hers is arriving in half an hour. "Did I not tell you?!". No, you said on Tuesday that you'd be meeting Laura at the weekend, not that she was coming here for Sunday lunch at half twelve.

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32 minutes ago, eindhovendee said:

In my house it is the bin, doesn't matter if it is the bin in the kitchen or even worse the small bin in the bathroom.

No matter how fucking full it is they can always balance one more item on it. It must take the missus or young lass longer to leave something on it than just empty it.

I have tried leaving them full but the rubbish piles up around it so it looks like a binman's strike is ongoing.

The Eindhovendee house -

 

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Got a few.

Leaving numerous items on the stairs resulting in a narrow path up them that she can negotiate but I cannot

Tidying the bathroom which involves all my daily items being tidied into a cupboard while leaving her own items strewn across the worktop

Filling the sink with dishes when there's a perfectly good area to the side of the sink to put them before filling the sink and doing the washing

An obsession of drying her hair in different rooms but always using a socket that I had something plugged into. The hairdryer is then left in said location until I have to tell her where it is when the 'have you seen' question arises. I think she intentionally unplugs my stuff to guarantee I know where she has left it

Putting the TV/Sky remotes in a drawer by the TV in the location furthest from the seats in the lounge

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3 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:


The other classic is where everything must drop because a friend of hers is arriving in half an hour. "Did I not tell you?!". No, you said on Tuesday that you'd be meeting Laura at the weekend, not that she was coming here for Sunday lunch at half twelve.

Get Laura pumped, then you won't have this problem anymore. 

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4 minutes ago, MONKMAN said:
9 minutes ago, MONKMAN said:

 


What the f**k is that supposed to mean?

 

A "friend with benefits" who bides-in for you visiting her. An informal partner as opposed to a hooker.(I hope).

7 minutes ago, Zen Archer said:

An unmarried partner who shares the house with you.

f**k sharing a house with her, visiting her a couple of times a week and getting fed and watered is a better situation. Unfortunately that means she controls the telly.

 

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37 minutes ago, eindhovendee said:

In my house it is the bin, doesn't matter if it is the bin in the kitchen or even worse the small bin in the bathroom.

No matter how fucking full it is they can always balance one more item on it. It must take the missus or young lass longer to leave something on it than just empty it.

I have tried leaving them full but the rubbish piles up around it so it looks like a binman's strike is ongoing.
 

 

I'm with you on this one. Then when you go to try and empty it the rubbish goes everywhere because it has been piled up, so then you have to spend time picking the rubbish off the floor as well as emptying the bin. Really fucks me off.

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5 hours ago, Dee Man said:

has got me on YouTube looking up how easy it is to remove and relay patio slabs.

This for me. Believes the fact that because I can YouTube or google some task that I've never ever done (or watched someone else doing) I can instantly be a time-served expert by watching a YouTube video.

This theory peaked a couple of months ago when she seriously asked me how I felt about putting decking in our (sloped) garden. I responded with "no chance" obviously. Her reaction was to state that "I shouldn't be so negative, at least look it up on YouTube "

15 years married next month.

ETA - I reckon I must be a nightmare to live with tbh, so she's worse off than me #punching

Edited by Boghead ranter

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She has a huge walk in double wardrobe which is packed with clothes and shoes. I'm not allowed to go in there as I know she buys clothes and keeps them in there with the labels on for months.

She also keeps her shoes in the shoeboxes they came in rather than kick them off in the hall so they can be tripped over at a later time. Maniac.

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or anytime you get a drink I assume? 
"Want anything ?"
"No I'll just have some of yours"
"So you do want one then?"
"No"
*drinks mine*
*Boots pie*


This.

"I don't want a whole one"

I am quite happy to pay the pound for you to take two sips of your own than for you to fucking take any of mine.

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13 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

 


This.

"I don't want a whole one"

I am quite happy to pay the pound for you to take two sips of your own than for you to fucking take any of mine.

 

If I'm driving anywhere over an hour or so I'll generally take a can of Irn-Bru etc.

If we're driving anywhere I now take 2 cans and end up drinking 1 and a half. 

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- Utter refusal to see any other point of view, simultaneously having a go at me because I wont see the other point of view(usually when she's wrong but wont admit it).

-  Mrs Jeek; "I'll run you a bath" if i'm coming home from 5's or something, then i come home to "I just nipped in before you", borderline acceptable until i get in and it's all moisturiser and glitter and I go into work the next day shimmering like a fcuking Disney princess!

 

And my continual nightmate;

-        Jeek getting back from work before her; "what do you fancy for tea?"  

         Mrs Jeek; "anything, i'm not that fussy"

         Jeek; what about *insert myriad of culinary delights*?

         Mrs Jeek; "hmmm naah"

         Jeek; "kaaay, what about *insert another myriad*"

         Mrs Jeek; "hmmm nah, not really feeling that"

         Jeek; "what do you want then"

         Mrs Jeek; "Anything I told you, I'm not fussy"

         Jeek(with added tone); "Right well I want this."

         Mrs Jeek; "mmm, nah not tonight"

        Jeek; **Triggered** goes in huff / goes and sits on P&B for half an hour before getting some shite out the freezer

        Mrs Jeek: "how come you're grumpy tonight"

at least once a week

 

         

 

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Mine will not touch raw chicken so if we are having a curry or suchlike then she waits till I get in to dice it up before she cooks it. She also always hovers about behind me when I am cutting things with sharp knives, I have even had the odd bump from her whilst I am doing it so she is constantly told to get to feck when I am in the kitchen. She swears blind that she is not trying to kill me off but I am not so sure.

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